Once You Realize This, You’re Golden.

14 May

Today’s post in not about online dating – but a small tidbit of information that I grasped onto years ago that I realize more and more people just don’t understand.   This will help you in life wherever you go.   Behold –  The Differences in Men and Women:

Okay – first..  GUYS:  

You know how some of you know that when a girl says “It’s fine.” things are really not fine?   You have no idea how much deeper than that it goes.   Girls  (it’s present in all of us.. some of us it just doesn’t rank dominant..)  almost always have hidden agendas.   Everything is a game with us, especially when it is involved.   We plan out our conversations with you ahead of time, and know exactly what we are going to say when you say “____.” or “____.”   (Which is funny, because you NEVER say any of the things we planned  ….and it throws us off.)

We converse with our girlfriends about what your text message means.   We converse about what to respond back, how soon should we respond back, etc.   I recently heard a woman say something along the lines of, “Well, since he isn’t rushing to give me an answer, I am just going to tell him that I made other plans and make him feel bad.. Then next time he won’t wait around.”    Bitchy?  Yes.   Absolutely.    Will it work?   No.   Does the guy realize that she is agonizing over a lack of prompt response?  No.

Guys –  you need to understand the above and realize that you may need to dig in a little deeper.   I have said before several times, and I stick to it:  ALL GIRLS ARE BATSHIT CRAZY.    We all have different levels of it.  You need to find a level you can deal with.    I know you guys take what us girls say (for the most part) as face value.  Don’t.  You need to read into stuff a bit more.   (When you don’t,  you know how you get scolded “When I said ‘this’ you should have known I was mad!”)

 

Alright – LADIES:

You know when a guy says he doesn’t want to go out because he’s too tired?   We think “OMG – he is mad at me.”   or “OMG – he wants me to go out so he can have another girl over!”     We do this because we know if one of our girlfriends says the same thing to us – it probably means she’s mad at us.   You want to know what that text message means from a guy?   It means:  “I don’t want to go out.  I’m too tired.”

Guys don’t play the stupid games we do, unless we force them into it (which is rare, and the relationship ends rather quickly in that event.)   Guys should be read at face value.    What you see is what you get.   Really,  it’s that simple.  I PROMISE.

They read us at face value..  They don’t read into how long it took you to respond to their text like we do.  They don’t care if it’s 5 minutes, or 2 hours.  They aren’t worried about it.

 

Bottom line:

Girls –  take what the guys say at face value.  (And maybe do yourself a favor and understand he takes you at face value.)

Guys –  start reading into things a bit.

*

I don’t want to say I am exempt from this, because I am not, and knowing this will not make you exempt from it.   I catch myself reading into stuff, or playing those games and I bring it back in.   I no longer play the “You should know why I am mad” game, because I know he doesn’t know why I am mad..  so I tell him.

It makes life so much easier.

 

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14 Responses to “Once You Realize This, You’re Golden.”

  1. nicofdarcyshire May 14, 2012 at 2:27 am #

    I’m such a… girl?!

  2. Greg Hindman (@ThePinkPhantom) May 14, 2012 at 2:39 am #

    There are guys who play games, not necessarily the same ones. Some of them run under PUA (Pick Up Artist). Not all PUA are game players, they’re just finding a way to meet likeminded women. But the jerks…don’t take my word for it, search for it. And for the book “The Game”.

    • Soon2BeCatLady May 14, 2012 at 2:46 am #

      I’ve been meaning to read that one.. I have heard about it.

  3. Paula May 14, 2012 at 2:54 pm #

    That sounds good, except that the guys I’ve been with who SAY that they really really do want to know what I’m thinking/feeling actually DON’T. Because when I’ve told them the truth, they’ve gotten pissed off, twisted my words against me, and generally been dicks. It’s probably the men I’ve chosen, so now I’ve decided to cut out online dating altogether, since I can’t meet the right type of guy (for me) that way.

  4. Loose Lips Sink Ships May 14, 2012 at 9:36 pm #

    I’m not especially impressed that you’ve characterized women as “ALL BATSHIT CRAZY” while “guys don’t play the stupid games we do”.

    If I’m reading this right, women are crazy and men are straightforward (and therefore awesome). I can’t imagine a single problem someone would have with this. Except your entire premise.

  5. butimbeautiful May 17, 2012 at 1:20 am #

    I don’t know if I believe guys are really that straightforward. I think ‘what they do’ reflects ‘what they think’ so if they leave it a long time to call you, it’s cause they don’t really care that much about you – at least, so I think.

  6. FumblingTowardsReality May 21, 2012 at 3:42 am #

    Hmmmm… yeah… I don’t really think any of this is quite that simple. There are PLENTY of men that do play games and there are women who don’t. Some women over-analyze and contemplate out of fear and doubt; not because they are batshit crazy. I think we all have tendencies that someone else might consider “crazy”. This includes men. We ALL have to discover what we can handle and we ALL need to work on our communication skills.

    I am continuously surprised by how many women bloggers I read that call “all” women names and insinuate that we are the problem and that men are merely bystanders to our horrible crazy. We all have our baggage and struggles.

    • Soon2BeCatLady May 21, 2012 at 3:56 am #

      I am not saying females are the problem by any means. But, as a whole, we tend to read into stuff. I don’t know of any female who hasn’t at least suggested to a friend what should be sent back in a text.

      • FumblingTowardsReality May 21, 2012 at 4:17 am #

        True, but I don’t see that as someone playing a game or acting crazy. Not always, anyway. We just want to put our best foot forward. Besides, let’s please remember the fragile male ego here. We have to be so careful to not damage that while communicating our true thoughts and feelings.

    • Soon2BeCatLady May 21, 2012 at 3:58 am #

      I’m also first to admit that I freely lead the pack of crazy. =)

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