On September 30th, I got a message on my “fake” POF account that said:
“Dear Snake Charmer…. (remember I have a photo of me holding a snake..)
Love to meet you for soda, tea, cognac or what ever.
p/s I threw a full bottle of horse radish at a neighbor’s cat trying to walk into my kitchen door this morning.
I missed the cat, but I broke the jar of horse radish..
Obviously I hate cats..and have dated my share of girls with them!
I prefer only one pussy in my bed! T2″
I should also specify that on my fake POF profile, I bring up my dislike for cats. (The profile itself is pretty vague.)
Even if this guy was in my area, and not hundreds of miles away – the lame pussy joke that I have gotten over and over is stupid.. Not to mention is man is TWENTY YEARS my senior.
Today.. I got part two.. (Which also happens to be his POF profile text..)
“OK….my second note to you..Better Block me!
Do you have a phucking clue what you are looking for?
Would you know him
if you saw him on the street?
Would you know him
if you woke up with him?
Would you know him,
if he was deep inside of you?
if He was Me?
Would you be petty and nit pick stupidities,as you have done so many times before.
Mister Perfect. Sure.
Lose the Good, in search of The Better..
Be intersted in booze and snooze and music groups, and football teams, and other stupidies ripping the seams..?
Looking for a Diamond, when you have a chunk of Gold?
And shit, winter is upon us, and nights will be Cold!
And the sheets hard and stiff, when with the right stiff lover, sheets could be wet and warm all winter long. How can you phuck this guy up??? You have done it before, you can phuck it all up again. Yes, this guy on the screen..you are reading him. He is actually just fine.
Wake Up, don’t lose another good man! Chrissake..how can you look so sharp, and be so stupid.
Tell it like it is!
You have missed plenty of opportunities with good guys who really were just fine, but You always had to just be perfect, and blow off another good guy, when you could have been perfectly happy, being accepting him and just blowing him.
Well, here we have a nearly perfect guy. Moi.
Healthy, except for a broken leg from skiiing in Switzerland. No bad habits, no excess baggage no dirty laundry no ex-wives in the closet.., no gambling debts, no drugs, He actually has a great home and a good job! Oh but, he shaves his head, oh but he is too stuffy and listens to opera, oh but he cooks really well, is a great dresser, and good party host and..yes, he is so good at night, afternoon and early in the morning..perhaps even for his age, he may just screw you more and better than you are used to…
but, but, he is so much older than you are…
so let’s just call that the Deal Breaker..
and move back to some Country Music College Boy,
with a backwards baseball hat,
who has spent last night
balling your best friend,
Yeah..better just delete this guy..and just move on…”
So. Many. Thoughts… Which probably don’t need to be typed because you already know how ridiculous this is.
I will leave you with this: Did a 47 year old man really just spell “fucking” with a PH?! And did I misinterpret.. or is name both Timothy and Pat?