I wish this was a fake story.

I really wish I could make some of this stuff up.

So, a friend of mine met a guy online and has been seeing him casually for a little while.   He is a decent fit for her, and she was very eager to tell me about a friend of his.   I checked out his online profile and agreed to meet up, even though we hadn’t ever talked online.

This is the part where I tell you unless your friend knows you like the back of her own hand AND she is uber trustworthy – you shouldn’t let friends talk you into getting set up.

So, I met up for drinks with him.  (From here on out, I will refer to him as ‘Jackass’.. because well.. you’ll see.)  Like several dates I have been on,  Jackass really enjoyed talking about himself.   When I was able to get a word in,  he would look around and basically not pay attention.  I could tell pretty close to the beginning that this would be our first, and our last date.   About a half and hour into this “date”,  he told me he was going to run outside for a smoke.  I elected to stay inside because 1) smoking is gross and 2) it’s cold out.

About 20 minutes later, I realized he wasn’t coming back.   Umm… awkward.

I called my friend.  “Yeah,  he went outside to smoke 20 minutes ago, and didn’t come back.”     She told me where she was, and told me I should meet up with her.   So I paid “our” tab.. (Yes, for real.)  and went to meet up with her and her guy.

Not 15 minutes after I arrived at bar #2-   in walks Jackass.   He approaches our table and looks at me and says “Hey, what’s up?”  AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED.   He then left and we didn’t see him the rest of our time there.   Yeah, another drink for me please.

Our evening ended and driving home probably wasn’t a wise decision.  My friend and her guy offered up his couch for the evening, and I gladly accepted their offer.   I got comfortable on the couch and fell asleep.

What my friend neglected to tell me is that her dude lives with Jackass.  I was pleasantly surprised to wake up at 3 in the morning to Jackass kneeling next to me saying, “Hey, you can come sleep in my bed with me if you want.”

HAHAHA –  Yeah right!