Gentlemen of the world, I really hope that statistic isn’t true. (And we know that the “100% Secure – Completely Anonymous” part is now B.S.)
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, by now you probably know that AshleyMadison.com, the website that encourages “Life is short. Have an affair.” was hacked and millions of user’s information has been leaked to the world wide web.
I wanted to share some words, thoughts, and some rules, for this whole ordeal..
This is probably going to be random and all over the place. So. Many. Unorganized. Thoughts.
First and foremost, this fiasco is absolutely terrifying. Someone, or some group, was able to steal sensitive information, and not only that – has made it visible to the world. This should not be taken lightly. While you may want to cheer the hackers, what they have done is absolutely illegal, and should not be condoned. We need to find “The Impact Team” and throw them in jail for the rest of their lives…
…Which brings me to my next thought. The hackers motive (so far) has only been to shut AshleyMadison.com and EstablishedMen.com down. This makes me believe that there is a scorned female on the other side of this mess. (I’d bet at least $5.00 on it.) This is what fascinates me the most, and will keep me the most intrigued about this story. I want to know who’s behind it, and what happened that caused “her” to go ballistic. No one does this “just cause.”
Infidelity makes me very sad. I wonder if it has always been “this big” (32 million users is nothing to brush off..) and it’s just easier to get caught nowadays with modern technology? Some people who have used, or currently use, AshleyMadison.com are scumbags. That is not the case for all users, I’m sure. Specifically for the scumbags: I do not feel sorry for you that your significant other may find out that you’re an asshole.
What I am currently most appalled with, though, is our fascination with this list and searching this database. I’d like to give you “CatLady’s Rules” about this. I think you’ll find them tough, but fair:
- You are allowed to search your e-mail addresses. However, you should probably already know if you have/had an Ashley Madison account.
- If you are married, or in a committed relationship – you are allowed to search your partner’s email addresses. HOWEVER – if it proves they have/had an Ashley Madison account – you are NOT allowed to lose your cool. Having an account does not prove an affair was had, or even attempted, necessarily. You will have a rational discussion with your partner about it. If it ends up being a “nothing ever happened” situation, get checked for STDs, just in case.
- If you are recently out of a committed relationship, you are allowed to search their e-mail addresses. If it proves they have/had an Ashley Madison account, keep that information tucked away for when they come crawling back to you, and go get checked for STDs if it has been awhile.
- YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEARCH FOR ANYONE ELSE. Beyond your business (see above), it is absolutely NONE of your business. Would you have searched for people’s credit card information during the Target hack, had it been made available? Probably not. Searching your family members, friends, co-workers, is a violation of privacy. Absolutely no good will come from knowing if someone has/had an Ashley Madison account.
And this is probably as good a time as any to remind everyone: If it’s something you don’t want anyone to know about.. you should probably leave it off the internet.
Thoughts?
Soon2BeCatLady 
Great job on this post!
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A lot of people think that AM will be doomed after this hack but the reality is that most people won’t care about this. Just because a site got hacked doesn’t mean that people will stop cheating or looking for love outside their marriage. Just like other high profile topics, in time it will go away. It’s a black eye for them right now but it will pass.
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I’m a lady, never been to this site but have of course heard about it now. Is it set up like match.com? From the statistics I read about it regarding, there was only a small percentage of women on the site and a recent news story said that some of the women on there may be created by the admins.
It’s hard for me to be too angry about this site, because on both side of the fence are consenting adults to this type of behavior.
You’re on point though about only looking at this site for your SO. Otherwise, you’re just being nosy. And, I agree with you, just because there is an account here doesn’t mean there was any cheating.
I have been cheated on by at least three exes. They didn’t need a website to find someone to cheat on me with. If your SO is being shady, they will find a way to cheat on you regardless if this site is operational. And, after each one my first move was to be tested for STDs. This is really good advice. Also, for some STDs you need to get at least two checkups several months apart to rule them out. This is the sad part of this situation, when someone is having unprotected sex with their partner, and could contract a terrible disease because their partner decided to go out and seek sex with someone else. I personally know two people who have been in this particular situation.
Maybe also people should consider having a private eye in their rolodex if they suspect cheating. It’s sad, but you have to protect yourself, your sanity, and your health.
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