Intense Connection

22 Sep

Remember when I told you that if I am not interested in someone that I have met online, that they become intensely interested in me?  Apparently, Velvet shares that disease.

She went out on a date with a gentleman who she ended up not being interested in.  I think it’s safe to say that a lot of us online dating struggle with the let-down, and prefer to let things sort of fizzle out on their own.  Most of us are guilty of ignoring messages, hoping the other end takes the hint.  For fantastic blog entry purposes,  I have access to her Google Voice account, and her OKCupid page.. so she may be surprised to see this.

When she was telling me about her date,  she informed me she ended it with “Thank you for the evening.”  and neglected to add “We should hang out again.”  (If a girl doesn’t say she’d like to hang out again.. trust me, she wouldn’t. — And sometimes she will say it anyway to not be awkward..)

After the date, she got a text:

“You are captivating my mind.”

And shortly after… another:

“Thank you for such a great evening. For your time.  Your incredibly fun spirit. For just being a cool person to hang out with beyond your outer beauty.”

“I love it when you blush.  Your eyes light up and you get that grin…”

“Are you interested/available to do something tomorrow or Tuesday night?  I don’t want to monopolize or your life but look forward to seeing you again.”

These text messages were ignored.   So, the next day, the following message appeared on her OKCupid account:

“Dearest Velvet,  

Good morning!!! My brain is still spinning from our date, and pulse still fast. I must have eaten something really bad to explain it.  NO… it’s you, or us but I wasn’t this way before meeting you so to me, it’s you.”

I am quite proud of Velvet for what she did next, which was respond to the message:

“[Guy Velvet Clearly Isn’t Interested In],

There’s just no easy way to put this, but I didn’t want to just “fade to black” on you either.  There appears to be a drastic difference between the way you are feeling and the way I am feeling.  You are a great guy, and have many of the things I am looking for – but alas the required ‘spark’ just isn’t there.  I am sorry the feeling isn’t mutual, I have been on the receiving end of this type of message, and to be blunt, I know it kinda sucks.  Take care, okay?”  

If you take away any point from the blog entry tonight, it should be this:   It will freak a girl out if you get overly intense about her, especially if she wasn’t feeling it.   If you keep it slightly vanilla,  you might have a better chance of getting to date #2, or at least make a new friend.

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