Is It Wrong That I LOVE This?

6 Nov

Alas, it was not sent to me..  and I know it is probably not original..  but I absolutely adore this:

“After meticulously examining your online dating profile, I have reached the conclusion that we would make wonderful offspring together. I would very much enjoy engaging in the normal boring courtship ritual in which I destroy large portions of my earning power on activities with you while awkwardly building rapport in hopes for that first piece of fleeting physical contact. In the event that you have constructed enough trust, comfort, and connection with me, perhaps we can get married, buy a two story house with a white picket fence, have 2.5 children, and a Labrador Retriever (color to be determined). After 10 years, one of two things will happen: I will cheat on you with a college aged blonde cokewhore or you will trip and fall on the dick of a tradesman. Either will result in you taking half of my shit. If you are interested, please let me know.”

I forget what it’s called, but I know there is a book out there with messages such as this.. (Like the “My Roommate Bet Me $20 You Aren’t Real” message, etc.)  And even though I know they are made up,  I still think they are very clever, and would respond.   (That being said, if you copy it –   you’re dumb.. the original author –  genius I could probably fall for.)

“Either will result in you taking half of my shit.”   … True Story…

3 Responses to “Is It Wrong That I LOVE This?”

  1. dramafreepaul November 6, 2012 at 3:25 am #

    I have a buddy that writes funny stuff like that. But he always adds a few personalized lines as well. That strategy seems to work for him. He’s a good looking dude too though. I’m sure that helps as well.

    Like

  2. Hydro November 17, 2012 at 7:46 pm #

    The only reason I’d copy that message is to see the hilarious responses I’d get. I mean hey, if it works, it works. I like how you enjoyed it. Love the blog btw… where are you located? Which State? I would actually love to pick your brain about online dating.

    Like

  3. Steffany February 18, 2013 at 8:31 pm #

    I’ve has this message sent to me twice on OkCupid.

    Like

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