Where did you two meet?

28 Jan

One of OKCupid’s match questions is:   “If you started getting serious with someone you met on okcupid, would you feel comfortable telling your family and friends where you met?”

On my news feed there,  someone had answered that question with “No – we can say we met in the produce section at the grocery store…just tell your dad you were admiring my cucumber!”

It made me laugh and made me remember that this was something I have been meaning to address on the blog.   Please remember that opinions are expressed are only my opinions, and per the usual:  I would love your feedback and thoughts.

I, personally, am not a big fan of announcing to the world “WE MET ONLINE!”   Of course,  there will always be certain friends who will know..  but,  as a general rule – it’s a little awkward.   That being said, I am not totally against it.   I think eventually it would probably be “leaked”  and be okay.  The first few months…  not really something I want everyone to know.

The most important factor to me is that it’s talked about, and not decided exclusively by one side.    I have had this argument with people.   You will never know how the other person feels about it until you have a discussion about it.   I feel very respected when people I have met from online have either brought it up, or have said the first place we actually did meet (in person) when questioned.

Again – there will be some friends of both parties who just know – that’s a given.. and not a problem.   It’s moreso the family knowing right off the bat that gives me the heebie-jeebies.    Why, you may wonder?   I don’t want my family to think you are some “crazy” from the internet.. because I am hoping that’s not really the case..   and I certainly don’t want your family getting the impression that I am a “crazy” from the internet either.

I know it’s becoming more normal to meet people online..  but you never know how people are going to react.   Much better for that to come out after everyone has already established their opinions on you, instead of letting “the internet” do that for them.

At the very least, I don’t want it common knowledge until it’s an exclusive dating relationship.   Would you really want someone saying “Oh, you are one of her internet men”?

I don’t know – am I way off base?

5 Responses to “Where did you two meet?”

  1. s4m4nth4x January 28, 2012 at 1:32 am #

    I would just tell people that we met online. If I didn’t tell them, they would assume that we met online or at work. Since I’m cantankerous an unpleasant everywhere else.

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  2. Mike January 28, 2012 at 2:10 am #

    Telling friends I met someone off a site like that would be easy, since some of them have done the same thing. I think I’d just tell family where we physically met for the first time instead; they’re a bit backwards when it comes to embracing technology and don’t realize just how much things have changed over the last 10 years or so.

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  3. B.V. January 28, 2012 at 2:10 am #

    I met my boyfriend via OKC, and at this point, most of our good friends & family know that. In casual conversation, however, if it comes up, I just give a quick overview. “Oh, I met him this summer while I was interning in the Midwest.” Then again, I have the fortune of having met him far from my home state, so most people don’t ask for details beyond that.

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  4. Denim January 28, 2012 at 3:21 am #

    I am celebrating 1 year with someone I met on OKC. When folks who don’t know us well ask where we met, we tell them where we met in person the first time. My family didn’t know we met online until we had been dating for about 6 months, and I honestly don’t think most of his family knows about it to this day. My kids know how we met-their father met his wife online! Until you really know someone, you don’t know if they are going to be hopelessly judge-y and terrible or tell you all the horror stories of rape and murder they “know” about from people who have tried online dating. I prefer to avoid that, and jump right to all the stereotypes that flow when I tell them we met at a dive bar. (I let most acquaintances think that we are a one-night-stand that stuck!!)

    Frankly, I am more suspect of relationships that start at a bar or club than I am of those that start on the internet. If internet dating is a meat market, then bars are the discount all you can eat buffet.

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  5. Melissa January 30, 2012 at 1:19 am #

    I wouldn’t have a problem telling most people that I met a person online. There doesn’t seem to be as much of a stigma surrounding online dating anymore, and even if there was, I don’t think most of my friends would care. Even my dad has done online dating for years, so I know he would approve. My mother on the other hand…that’s a totally different story. She is very old-fashioned and looks down upon things like internet dating. She nearly had a heart attack at the thought of me getting my own apartment. She spent countless hours trying to tell me about all the stalkers and crazies out there, despite the fact that I studied serial killers and sex offenders in college and know all about the dangers of the real world. I can’t even imagine how she’d react to me dating someone I met online. I definitely wouldn’t tell her for several months or years. Probably not until after I was married, haha.

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