Is this for real?

I totally feel like there is a possibility that I am being punk’d.    If that’s the case, mad kudos to the punker..  but I just don’t believe that this could possibly be real – however, I’ve been surprised before.

When I awoke from my slumber this morning,  I had an unread message from an online dater who lives about 400 miles away from me that was sent at 12:17am.

“Could we possibly get to know eachother more???”

This was one of those times where I decided not to respond –  I mean, let’s be honest.. 400 miles away?   It’s not like I am going to pack up my life and move when I own a house.. and I have no intentions of taking several road trips for the slight possibility of an online dating happily ever after.

On a break at work,  I had another missed message from this person.

“Why don’t you send me a message some time,,, I am itching to learn more about you!!!! “

Itching, huh?   Fine..

“Dear [Username], you live oh-so far away..”

“I am VERY willing to relocate,,, comon,,,just give me a chance… I know that you would like me!!! I am scared of snakes though,,,just saying,,,”

(The snake comment is because I have a picture of myself holding a snake as one of my profile pictures..  Yes, I am THAT badass.)

But.. willing to relocate?!  Maybe I am out of line here-  but that seems a little too fast.

Twelve minutes later I receive another message:

“Just give me a shot,,,I can do most of the traveling…I am willing to do that!!!”

“What does this ‘shot’ entail?”

“Getting to know eachother,,, taking you out to dinner,,,,stuff like that!!!
Honestly,,, I don’t bite,,,,I am actuall quite the gentleman!”

“I guess I am confused as to why you would want to drive six plus hours to meet someone off of very minimal information.”

“Because you seem like you are sweet and the kind of gal I have been looking for. And I’ll admit it,,,,I think you are pretty!!! “

…While he probably does have me pegged – I actually AM a big sweetheart – I bet most of my male readers are rolling their eyes at this moment thinking “Wow- wrong..  not sweet at all… total biznotch!”

At this point I actually viewed his profile.    According to the questions he has answered-  he has never been in a relationship.    The most private thing he is willing to admit to publicly on his profile is that he is “VERY gun shy as far as relationships go.”      That has to be a joke, right?  I mean, he is talking about relocating..     I feel like I need to help this guy out.. I mean, I AM a great catch and all – but yikes..

“That just might be how you are perceiving me though.”     *cough*  Hint Hint!

“Yeah,, but a person will never know unless they try,,,
I won’t hurt you,,, I was raised different!!!!
This whole thing is hard for me too, I have had my heart crushed pretty bad in the past as well!!!
By the way,,,what is your name? “

Raised different?   I am confused as to if he means he won’t physically hurt me, or if he means more of an emotional turmoil…  I didn’t ask.

“I don’t expect you would hurt me. Honestly, at this point I feel like, if anything, you may never leave me alone. It seems a little extreme that you don’t know me and are already talking about relocating.

My name is [Soon2BeCatLady]”

“[Soon2BeCatLady],,, that is a pretty name! I hjave thinnking about relocating for a long time now,,,even before I first messaged you.
Another reason is we are BOTH Christians!!!”

Oh no..  Oh no no no no no..

Alright – I best explain.   I most certainly consider myself Christian.   (I know.. the eyerolls, I can feel them..)   I have strong morals, but I am also very tolerant of others.   I believe my faith is a personal thing – and I am not going to try to sway someone into my belief system, and I expect that same respect.    I think religion and politics need to stay away from each other.   I don’t believe homosexuals are going to hell, and I don’t necessarily believe that if someone deems themself a “Christian” that they are a good person.  I believe I am quite open minded.  End rant.

This guy is a completely different kind of Christian than I am.    This is a total stereotype on my part – but he answered a question about his viewpoints on homosexuality with “all same-sex relationships are wrong”, which is what I am basing this opinion on.

I informed him that it concerns me that he is basing his interest in me based on my religious beliefs.  He told me, without detail, that it is only one of the many qualities he sees in me.   I just need to give him a chance, and again – he doesn’t bite.

He then asked me if I would like to exchange numbers – and gave me his.

“No.. I do not want to exchange numbers.”

And now he thinks he has made me mad..

OKCupid has a nifty block feature – I have a feeling I might be using it sometime in the near future.    This is just far too extreme for me.