Common Sense

17 Apr

Online dating shouldn’t be rocket science.    Seriously!   You go online, actually read a profile, look at photos and determine if you think you’d like the person.   If so, send a message that is preferably NOT a form letter.  If not, move along to the next.   Have discussions, ask questions and get offline in a reasonable time to determine if there’s “the spark” or whatever.     (I put quotes around “the spark” because I don’t necessarily believe it’s always there immediately.  I take awhile to determine if there is a spark, personally.)

I got this message:

“Hey I’m Luke not sure if I’m your type but just stopping by to say hi ;)”

Okay..  short and to the point..  I get it.   Guys don’t receive messages back far more often than girls – so they have to send a higher amount to actually get a response.  Because of this, they get lazy and send the same message to everyone.   Fine..  I will still complain about it, and still blog about it.. But, I get it.

So what’s my issue, then?   This guy’s profile has absolutely ZERO information about him.    Well geez, Luke..  I don’t know if you’re my type either.  I know absolutely nothing about you, other than your first name and what your face looks like.   I have nothing to work with – therefore, I am going to just go out on a limb and guess that you are NOT my type.

Good grief, online daters..  Common sense would indicate have SOMETHING on your profile if you really expect to hear back from people.

5 Responses to “Common Sense”

  1. Three April 17, 2012 at 12:41 am #

    You know, I just sent a mail vaguely similar to this the other day. We were definitely on opposite ends of the spectrum, but her profile was so positive and interesting to read that I shot her a note saying, “I don’t think we’re a match, but I really loved your profile … ” and added what I liked about it. She never visited my profile, but said “Thanks man! Appreciate it!” I thought that was cool. I also did something similar to a woman who had a picture of her dressed up as 24 from The Venture Brothers, telling her how outstanding that costume was. We chatted for a little bit, but that’s all the further it went. My feeling is that it never hurts to pay a compliment, as long as you’re sincere about it.


  2. Paula April 17, 2012 at 2:55 am #

    Reminds me of this Match guy — he had one sort of weird photo, black and white and “artsy.” His profile mostly described what he DIDN’T like/want in a woman, not much about him or what he liked to do or what his goals were, etc. He sent me a msg: let’s meet for a bottle of wine. He didn’t like to answer questions first. What? How about we exchange a few emails? That’s what we PAID FOR — a safe place to chat, duh! So, I said I couldn’t tell much about him, let’s talk about ourselves. I told him some things about me. No phone no. or real email address yet. Of course I never heard back. If we’re going to do that, why not just pick up people in bars or wherever — why pay to be on a dating site?


  3. PostModernSingle April 17, 2012 at 6:41 pm #

    So frustrating. Especially if the guy bitches that women never want to meet and just want to chat online. Well yes, I want to chat at least a bit and know a few things about you before I decide if I want to meet.

    Do you walk up to complete strangers on the street and say “Hey. Am I your type? Lets go for coffee.” too?


    • gspitman April 17, 2012 at 11:10 pm #

      I don’t walk up to strangers on the street and say “Am I your type, let’s go for coffee” But I’d guess you wouldn’t be put off and ignore someone in a bar if they simply said “Hi, How are you tonight?” But in online dating world that message doesn’t get a reply of any sort. It’s simply ignored. I guess I’m saying that if you want men to behave as they would in real life on a dating site, behave that way yourselves ladies!


      • PostModernSingle April 17, 2012 at 11:37 pm #

        Actually I think “in real life” lots of guys get ignored at a bar for cold-calling/approaching women.


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