Obviously I refer to #31 every so often, so if you aren’t familiar, please go back and read this. I think pretty highly of this guy.
So, I haven’t even told him this yet.. (Hi #31!) but I was cruisin’ OKCupid on his page searching for chicks for him. He did once tell me that he is looking for someone like J (my friend who contributes a bunch to the blog.) and even though I have no idea how to find a carbon copy of J – I decided to look.
I came across a girl who probably isn’t at all like J, but very cute and seems to have a very confident personality, much like #31 himself. According to OKCupid, they are an 87% match, 80% friend and a 12% enemy.
I almost messaged her for him… but, then came across this:
“You should message me if:
I would rather this say “don’t message me if”. And this would be my answer:
·You are a super religious
·You go to the gym more than four times per week
·You are shorter than 5’10
·You smoke pot or cigarettes
·You have children
·You are very politically conservative
I’m sure there are a few things I’ve forgotten, I’ll be sure to add them as I go. Yes, I am picky. You should be too!
This is the beauty of online dating. I can put all of my deal breakers on the table so neither of us has to waste our time. You’re welcome.”
*
…Woah…
I agree.. but only sort of. I totally think that you can have a better handle on if something would work or not based on an online profile, but – I will go on record as saying I know a guy who is 100% perfect for me on paper.. but in reality – not at all.
We all have deal-breakers.. and that’s okay.. but, I think we are more adaptable than we realize. Before I ever started dating, I vowed I would NEVER date a smoker.. but, then I started seeing a guy and he charmed me in other ways that the smoking wasn’t so much of a deal breaker anymore. I say that kids are a deal breaker, but really- it depends on the guy.
And really, in the end, don’t we all end up with someone we never would have pictured ourselves with? I think what we want and what we need are two completely different things.
I contemplated messaging her anyway- but she had the red light of death, and #31 holds more than one of her deal breakers.. So, I didn’t bother.. Oh well, on to the next.
Soon2BeCatLady 
This is one of the worst things about online dating and totally negates the “big pool” concept. Theoretically there are “so many more” people to choose from than you meet day to day, but then we get all crazy with the freedom to make laundry lists of must-haves and deal-breakers before we’ve actually met anyone. You see women with their $150K+ income requirement on Match — wtf? They really couldn’t fall in love with a guy making $125K? That’s nuts. But the $125K guy isn’t going to talk to her when he sees that, nor is the beautiful 10# overweight woman going to message the man who insists that a woman “look great in a bikini.” Because, you know, that is soooo important. But when you meet people in real life and talk to them and like them FIRST, you’re not worried about these lists. And I’m guilty of it, too, which is yet another reason I’m taking a break from it all. I know the perfect fantasy man does not exist, yet I get lost in that mindset sometimes; and I absolutely know these guys on the sites are looking for perfect women and will keep shopping forever rather than try to get to know an actual live, flawed human.
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The hazards of being a single father attempting to date. A guest blog about this is forthcoming.
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What? You’re a single father? That MUST mean that you will also want to take care of my children, that you will never ever want to party or have fun, and that you are so desperate to find a mother for your child(ren) that I can be a complete b*tch to you at any given time and you will take it with a smile. Am I right? Am I right? Can we date now?
Hehehehe….
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Oh.. Sorry Velvet.. #31 won’t date single mothers..
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Well, Cat Lady, it’s not that I don’t date single mothers. I just don’t date BAD mothers. I know “bad” is relative, but the most obnoxious story I have is being on a date with one girl who told me she feels bad because her kid gets out of bed and plays by himself every day before she wakes up. Her kid is hardly 2 years old, for crap’s sake…get your lazy ass out of bed and be a parent! Plus, I’ll only date a single mom if there’s no baby daddy drama. I don’t have baby mama drama and like to live drama free.
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But how would you know any of that until you actually date them?
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You falsely assume I don’t go on dates with single mothers. Tsk. Tsk.
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