I’ll be honest: I used to think OKCupid’s match percentage “suggestions” were a bunch of crap. But, that was when I was young and stupid. (…a few months ago…)
Don’t get me wrong – I still don’t fully rely on them. (Old school dating didn’t ever provide you with likelihood of succeeding numbers..) But, the more and more I meet people from online, the more I see that the match percentages are pretty fair. Take #31 for example: Our match percentage is 94% Match, 78% Friend, and 2% Enemy.. and we get along splendidly. I think the important part of looking at the match percentages is that you take EVERY one of them into consideration.
I don’t work for OKCupid, and I haven’t read OKCupid’s blog about how they figure out the match percentages.. but, from what I understand it’s based on the questions you answer. I perceive it like this: The “Match” percentage seems to be how we’d be in a relationship. Obviously 80% or higher is probably something you should aim for. Friendship match and Enemy match numbers are pretty obvious.
No one is every going to have a 100% perfect all around relationship – that is unrealistic. What I have noticed, though, is that even if I have a higher match percentage with someone, the friend percentage is more of a tell all for me. That number cannot be low. I want to marry my best friend. (No, J or Velvet.. not you guys..) I have found that when I talk or meet with people who have a lower friend percentage than what I’d like: We don’t click.
I have yet to meet with someone who has a higher than normal enemy percentage. It is in the works for me to do so at some point in the near future, kind of.. I haven’t yet decided at what point an enemy percentage is too high.
..I may just seek out a super high enemy match and suggest a meet up… (Gun in purse… of course.)
What do you guys think? — Any stories?
Soon2BeCatLady 
The boyfriend & I met via OKC last summer. I’ve answered a lot more questions since then, just for funsies, so I can only share our current stats, not what they were when we started dating. 94% Match. 58% Friend. 12% Enemy.
I never really paid much attention to the friend stats, just the match ones. The match % comes from your ideal answer with the other’s person’s answer and vice versa.
The friend % comes from having similar answers. My own answer to a question isn’t always what I want the other person to say. For example, I’m attracted to skinny men. But I myself am curvy. So on the question about ideal partner’s body, my response was slim. But for acceptable responses, I put curvy.
I don’t know how enemy % works.
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OK… You know how answer a question, and then choose what you want your partner to answer, then choose how IMPORTANT your partner’s answer is? That’s where your match comes from. I don’t have a full understand of the exact algorithm… But if you give the answers that he finds important, and he gives the answers that you find important, you’ll have a higher percentage.
The percentage isn’t the end-all-and-be-all. But if I like a guy’s profile, and we exchange a few messages, I WILL go through and skim the “unacceptable” answers (in the right sidebar under “The Two Of Us”) to see where our disagreements are – Some things are more important to me than others.
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When my current boyfriend and I met on OKC over a year ago, our match % was in the high 80s, but our friend match was in the 90s. Our enemy % was 1 or 2. We had many conversations in the beginning about how we would LOVE to have gone out…just once…with someone who was at least 50% our enemy. I would be all over that! 🙂
By the way-the person above was correct about the difference between the match and the friend percentage. Your match has a great number of answers that you will accept, and your match % will be higher if you rank your required answers. If you go through and basically rank all of the questions as though you don’t care what your future mate answers, well-they can’t really work with that. The friend % and enemy % come about with matching up answers. For example, say I love the movie Elf. However, let’s also say that I think it would be a turn off if a guy liked that movie, and that it was deal-breaker level important. If a guy answers that he likes Elf, he would get Friend points, but lose Match points. If someone answered that they thought that the movie Elf is super dumb, and all people who watch it are pathetic-well, there is your Enemy point.
Clear as mud?
By the way, I am returning the engagement ring, Cat Lady. 😛
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I’m glad it seems to be working for some, but I just don’t know. I met a couple guys from OKC with whom I had very high match and friend numbers. With one, in person, there was zero chemistry. With the other, there was a little, but not enough to continue after a few dates.I contacted a couple men I with whom I scored high, but they expressed no interest. I’m not sure the numbers mean so much to the guys — they are still all about photos/age (I am 50, which is unappealing to most men, even men in their 50s, in SoCal, who think they deserve 30-45 year old women).
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Oh men and their thoughts of what they deserve. A good majority don’t deserve any of us.
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A guy with a high enemy % once messaged me and asked if I was curious as well what it’d be like to meet someone you had a high enemy % with. If I was even remotely attracted to him, I would’ve considered… but that wasn’t the case.
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I flip-flop when looking for match/friend percentage, but like you said, they should be high 80s. So when I find someone with 90s in both I become ecstatic, until I read their ‘Deal-Breakers’, which is typically age and or height, ho hum.
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