Cookie Monster

4 Aug

This story is just too funny not to share,  and it just proves that my friends and I strike out in real life too.

As I believe I have mentioned before,  Velvet and I work together, although I have known her for years and years.   So, the other day, we went to lunch and were having a grand ol’ time.

I should explain that we work in a building of several different companies, each on our own floor.   I should also explain that Velvet and I are not shy people.

So, going back up to our floor, we hopped in the elevator.  There was a man going to the level just below ours, who had just been to the deli.  He was holding his deli wrap and biting into his cookie.   “You know you’re supposed to eat your cookie AFTER your lunch, right?”  is how I totally called him out.  (In a very friendly way.)   This definitely caught him off-guard and he was still shoving the cookie into his mouth – almost eating the saran wrap in the process.  It was like he was Cookie Monster.

He was smiling and chewing quickly as we were giggling at him.  “I know, but I’m starving!” he responded, chocolate on his face and all.  There was a little more playful interaction as we laughed,  we stopped at his floor (a company full of nerdy computer geek guys, mind you..) and he told us to have a great rest of our day.   Velvet and I managed to stifle our laughter until the elevator got moving once again, and then we lost it.   I was literally crying from laughing so hard.

I realized, after calming down, that this probably mortified this poor guy.  I really had hoped he wasn’t socially awkward enough to be devastated by our teasing.  Velvet and I both agreed he was really cute, and shouldn’t be jaded by our interaction, so I did something a little out of character:

I posted a “Missed Connection” on Craigslist.

Subject:  Cookie Monster in the work elevator

“To the man in the elevator who I called out for eating your cookie before your lunch..

I am sorry my friend and I were laughing at you, and continued to do so for the next 5 minutes after you got off the elevator. I hope you didn’t go back to your desk just mortified – we wanted you to know that we thought you were adorable.”

I got a couple responses to this, all from people who were not the Cookie Monster.    I have since erased the post. (These men were angry!)

Flash forward to today.   I was at lunch with a different work friend – we went off campus.  I got a text from Velvet:

“I SAW COOKIE MAN!  I introduced myself, said I thought yesterday was hilarious, and that I wanted to know where my cookie is.   He pointed to the deli AND WALKED AWAY.”

I am willing to bet that we mortified him, he’s afraid of us, or he didn’t believe that Velvet’s name is actually Velvet.  (That happens a lot to her.)  She did say when she first approached him, asking if he was the man from the elevator, he did have a big smile for her.

See – we apparently suck at this in real life too.

3 Responses to “Cookie Monster”

  1. kellig August 4, 2012 at 3:11 am #

    You have to admit her introduction of herself was not ideal.
    “Hi I’m velvet. Where is my cookie?”
    You have skewered people for less on here. Maybe have the deli deliver a cookie with your number or a note attached. Might get a more favorable response.


  2. Emgee August 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

    Don’t waste your time on cookie monster. It’s obvious he’s married to his job, he just can’t wait finish his lunch so he can get back to nerding.


  3. Larry Louisiana December 11, 2014 at 4:35 am #

    O.k. So yes I was hungry! That said, in my own right I’ve mortified many people.. I was raised on a carnival & my name is in some ways both more unique and easier to make fun of than Velvets’… I think the issue here is a matter of imploying ” long game” tactics expecting “short game” results… What isn’t represented here (or in the comments) is that I was dating someone at the time, running late on lunch and had another meeting in a few minutes. For posterity, I make a fool of myself in front of strangers at least once a week… And since the icebreaking cookie incident have chatted with soon2becatlady on numerous occasions, including a hug!.. Do there 😜


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