Hi folks, Velvet here…
Most importantly, CatLady has me on the twitter now, so ya’ll should follow me. Because I have, like, 17 followers and it is kind of pathetic. @Velvet_licious. Do it-you know you wanna.
But, those few (awesome!) followers became aware of and requested a blog entry about an update about my Intense Connection. (If you didn’t read the first one, scroll down and do so) CatLady made you all aware of my apparent ability to make people I find ZERO attraction to fall deeply and madly and instantly in love with me. This guy is just…well…a little over the top? I have the distinct impression he is one of those dudes who goes around saying “Nice Guys Finish Last” and doesn’t realize that it has NOTHING to do with the fact that he is a nice guy, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that he is desperately clingy! And trust me, folks- if I think you are clingy-you have serious issues. I am the girl who ADORES daily messages and sappy, mushy, lovey-dovey Facebook status updates and shit.
WHY do I think he is over the top and a teensy bit unbalanced? Because he sent me a 6 paragraph, 870 word (I was curious, so I pasted it into a Word doc…) email today. Mind you, this was after I sent him that very up front and polite message letting him know I am not interested, since he didn’t get the many MANY hints I gave him in person during our date.
What. The. Hell???
I was going to just copy the whole thing here. BUT I thought that was a little past mean into the bitchy zone. So instead, let me summarize for you:
Dearest Velvet,
*Paragraph 1… stating that he really really really (yes, he used 3 reallys) enjoyed getting to know me
*Paragraph 2… listing all of the things he wished he had said and done while on the date with me (mind you, not one of the things he listed would have changed a thing-no spark is no spark buddy)
*Paragraph 3… THIS is the one everyone should learn from. He went into GREAT detail about what a “spineless, rude, self centered, inconsiderate mushball” he was, and how he was really only himself for about 10 minutes, and he really hopes that I will give him another chance. Gee, with THAT glowing self recommendation, sign me the heck up!! Everyone: if a date doesn’t go well, pointing out all the things about you that suck will NOT make the memory of that bad date any shinier.
*Paragraph 4… here is where even if I had been thinking to myself, “Velvet, this guy obviously is really sweet on you, maybe you should just check your hotsy totsy self and give it another go!” This here is where he immediately got planted firmly in the same wackadoodle nutcase as Meow Man. He went on for 128 words about how since I like to people watch (something I mentioned on our date, to try to make him feel better about the super awkward silence while we stared off into the crowd) I should try hanging out at this fetish bar in the city near my hometown, so I could watch “people who pay to get whipped, electrocuted, etc” WHAT??? Who suggests that??
*Paragraph 5… Yeah, I kept reading. I don’t know why. This paragraph was when he explained how everyone can have a bad day, and if I could wait a while so I could forget how bad that was, and somehow go back to the way I felt before the date, I should really consider it. Unless the lack of chemistry was because he is shorter than me, then I could just skip it. Really? I can? I have your freakin nutty permission? GEE THANKS!
*Paragraph 6… He promised he wouldn’t try to contact me again, because he didn’t want me to think that “this spineless mushball was a stalker, too”
And this, folks, is why I may be moving in with CatLady and all of her furry little friends…
(CatLady would like to comment that if this had been her, she would have been a “bitch” and posted the actual message.)
Soon2BeCatLady 
whack-job. bet you a dollar he contacts you, A-gain.
wtf? were they not hugged enough as children?
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LOL.. I bet he contacts her again too..
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This guy? Probably hugged too much.
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This has nothing to do with being clingy. Girls love clingy guys. It’s called being joined at the hip. The guy doesn’t have enough dating experience and doesn’t know how to take rejections well. Also he has a hard time reading social cues.
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Ehh.. I think after sending several texts with no response and then getting a polite decline message – this seems a little clingy.
..And if he doesn’t have enough dating experience when he’s in his 40s.. Yikes.
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Yeah, this happens. There are a lot of guys who’s never dated. I’ve been on a few dates with girls who are in the same boat. One or two dates in their life time, they are in their mid 30’s and never been in a relationship. From a guy’s perspective dating is a numbers game, more dates equal more experience and knowing how to pick up on social cues. Every girl is different and reacts differently so just comes down to experience. This guy has none based on the blog.
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I laughed a bit upon reading this and the prior Intense Connection entry….but only because I’ve have gone through it are few times. Most recently in the last week. Met a guy for coffee who is recently separated (like a month). Hung out for a few hours. Got home at 2am and he texts me to tell me he’s on the phone with his mother…telling her ALL about me. Uhh,,, there’s more and I’ll be blogging about that soon.
As for this guy that Velvet encountered, he definitely sounds like he’s socially inept. He’s trying all different angles to get her attention (like the fetish club). She better hope he doesn’t know where she works or she may be on the receiving end of a singing telegram or something.
I have a simple method when it comes to crazies: Block, Delete.
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Strictly because I work with Velvet – I hope he DOES know where she works, and I ESPECIALLY hope there is a singing telegram!!!
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