A Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

Hi.  It’s me, CatLady.. You know, the girl who’s heart you put through the shredder, blender and then shredder again.  If you recall, you gave me “It’s not you, it’s me” line, and gave me absolutely no closure whatsoever.  We dated a really long time, so I must tell you –  that whole situation was pretty crappy.   It’s been quite a while since that happened.  I’ve been alright.  I’ve been writing a relatively popular blog, and meeting lots of new people – not that you’ve asked whenever I have seen you since you ripped my heart out.

I must say I was surprised to see your face pop up as an “awesome match nearby” for me the other day.  Not that I am surprised we are an awesome match, and not that I am surprised that you are online dating..  I mean more so the “punched in the gut” feeling of surprise.  I hope if/when you see my profile that you also feel punched in the gut.  Really, it would really only be fair.

Did I look at your profile?  Of course I did.  I’m a girl, and therefore a little nutty around the edges.  Your pictures are horrible.. but kudos for not putting one of the two of us up.  If that happens, you just may get this letter in person. (Please remember that I have never once yelled at you..)  The questions you have answered are interesting..  I feel I know you quite well, and either you are lying in a bunch of the questions, or have multiple personalities.  You really think you go “out of your way” to show someone you care for them?  That’s funny.  I would be interested to hear some examples of this, because you certainly have not done that with me.  I think you’re capable of going out of your way to be kind if you want to.. but, I wouldn’t say it’s common.   Anyway, I am not trying to be a bitch.. just some observations..

I thought I had sewn my heart up quite nicely, but seeing your face pop up there sure made me realize there are a few loose ends.  ”They say” it takes half of the relationship time to get over it..  so, me not being entirely over it yet could be considered normal.   Truth be told, I am happy where I am at.  You don’t consume all of me anymore.

Everybody laughed when I told them you popped up as a good match for me.  No one understands just how much it stings.  (I’m not even sure why it stings so much..)  I understand that it’s funny too,  but it hurts far more than it’s funny right now.   Hopefully I get to the point where the funny reigns supreme – today is not that day.  For now, I’ll just pick up the pieces and figure out what to do with them later.  I do truly want you to be happy.

That’s all, I guess.

Love,

Soon2BeCatLady

P.S.  Your lack of grammatical and spelling skills will be a deal-breaker for intelligent people online dating.. and I know you want someone intelligent. Use your spell check.   — And don’t say I never helped you with anything.