Not Some Drunk Asshole Player Frat Type Guy

20 Nov

Many many thanks to Samantha Lynn of The Einstein Approximation for submitting the crazy message she received on OKCupid.

Because she sent me a screen shot which does not allow me to copy and paste,  and because I am far too lazy to retype this beast..  Here it is:

Dearest 50shadesgrey,

I would have to concur on your opinion that Ms. Sam is not the “normal complete trash” you interact with daily…  She’s a classy lady, which is why you are probably only a mere 15% match with her.

Granted, I know you think you’re classy too…  I mean, no whips and chains for you..  just gagging and choking..  TOTALLY different.   Riddle me this, though..  Can someone really be your  “EQUAL”  if you require them to submit to you?

I’m also quite pleased to know you had your phase of fucking every chick in sight while you were in college.  I can imagine you are one hell of a walking STD… you may want to get that checked out.

How ’bout next time, do your homework and try to message people that list they are looking for casual submissive sex,  instead of adorkable girls who indicate they want nothing of the sort.



(Those of you interested..  feel free to send a message his way.. you know where to find him!   If you aren’t sold yet, I can tell you that according to his profile he occasionally treads water for 3 days at a time, and woos women with his sensuous and godlike trombone playing.)

And.. for those keeping score..  I have found myself to be a mere 10% match with this charmer.   I think everyone should go visit his profile and comment what your match percentage is with him!!

8 Responses to “Not Some Drunk Asshole Player Frat Type Guy”

  1. Sasha Pixlee (@sashapixlee) November 20, 2012 at 12:14 am #

    18%, 84% enemy. Hmm…


  2. nicofdarcyshire November 20, 2012 at 12:19 am #

    He may be a cock… But his profile is fantastic..


  3. Dos Cleve November 20, 2012 at 12:24 am #

    I have to agree…Samantha…or Samntha as she likes to call herself…is in no way normal. That is not a reflection of her sanity…I’m certain studies will be written for years on that subject. 😉


  4. journeythruokc November 20, 2012 at 1:09 am #

    Dear nicofdarcyshire,

    His profile is complete shit considering someone else wrote it. His only claim to fame is the “message me if” section, oh and the gem in the screenshot, I guess. Google Hugh Gallagher’s College Essay.


    • nicofdarcyshire November 20, 2012 at 1:47 am #

      Fair point… Hugh Gallagher’s dating profile would be fantastic…


      • Soon2BeCatLady November 20, 2012 at 3:52 am #

        But Journey… But Nic… what is your match percentage with him?!


  5. nicofdarcyshire November 21, 2012 at 6:13 am #



    • Tomato Spammer November 26, 2012 at 5:19 am #

      So 0% match, that’s cool.


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