Leotard Breakfast

20 Dec

Velvet here with a truly magnificent wonderland of insanity…

I received a message from POF the other day that made me laugh. Really really hard. And part of me wants to respond, but I value my skin and kind of like it where it is.

“Could I interest you in a leotard breakfast? This is where we both wear long sleeve leotards under T-shirts and we meet up at a Perkins or Denny’s and I buy you breakfast. Nothing more.”

Okay, that is just funny. I don’t care who you are. And it immediately brought a few questions to mind. What if I don’t wear a T-shirt over the leotard? Is that a deal breaker? And why not IHOP? What about brunch, or an early dinner?

I (of course) had to read his profile. Some highlights:

He is 6’5″ (Not terrifying AT ALL) and has a Bachelor’s degree in programming. He is separated, and his profile picture is a close up self-portrait of him with a rather unattractive female. He is open to having children (NOOOOOOO!!!!!) and has been in at least one relationship longer than 6 years. But here’s the effed up cherry on top of the wackadoodle sundae:

“Looking for someone who would like to come to my house and get tied up in straightjacket or other restraints and get hugged (cuddling), get a foot massage, or just hang out.”

*blink*

Literally speechless.

One Response to “Leotard Breakfast”

  1. iammarcello December 20, 2012 at 8:53 am #

    In the last section he offers a choice of four activities – when he adds “or just hang out” I get the feeling his heart wasn’t in it. I am sure he added that so as to off-set the suggested creepiness.

    Like

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