How NOT to Win a Girlfriend

17 Apr

I am quite certain that this individual may be single for life:

“Hi. I’m usually not into rubenesque women, nor have I gone steady with a Lutheran, so I would like o say hi; since you’re pretty hot.”

“What?”

(The dictionary tells me that Rubenesque means:  plump or rounded in a pleasing or attractive way.   …Thanks, I guess?)

“Hi.  Thanks for the unusually fast reply. It was very fast. I take it from your response that it’s already late in the night and you’ve got your beer goggles set to stun, not that you need it, so I guess if you could just ad me to your booty call list, and/or rebound list; then I would be happy to get with you at your house at some future time to work on the plumbing or other issues.  I could even order gourmet neopolitan pizza if you so wished or such. Well, thank you for your time and good luck.”

….What?!

Interesting approach.. I would not recommend trying this one at home.

3 Responses to “How NOT to Win a Girlfriend”

  1. Chin Up, Chest High! April 17, 2014 at 7:49 am #

    Some people must be on for the shits and giggles, I swear it. How can that ever work (maybe for some, it does?)

    Like

  2. Dawn April 17, 2014 at 5:14 pm #

    Ha.

    Like

  3. datinginfrogland May 1, 2014 at 4:28 pm #

    Ha! That second one is great!!

    Like

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