I am quite certain that this individual may be single for life:
“Hi. I’m usually not into rubenesque women, nor have I gone steady with a Lutheran, so I would like o say hi; since you’re pretty hot.”
“What?”
(The dictionary tells me that Rubenesque means: plump or rounded in a pleasing or attractive way. …Thanks, I guess?)
“Hi. Thanks for the unusually fast reply. It was very fast. I take it from your response that it’s already late in the night and you’ve got your beer goggles set to stun, not that you need it, so I guess if you could just ad me to your booty call list, and/or rebound list; then I would be happy to get with you at your house at some future time to work on the plumbing or other issues. I could even order gourmet neopolitan pizza if you so wished or such. Well, thank you for your time and good luck.”
….What?!
Interesting approach.. I would not recommend trying this one at home.
Soon2BeCatLady 
Some people must be on for the shits and giggles, I swear it. How can that ever work (maybe for some, it does?)
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Ha.
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Ha! That second one is great!!
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