Last week on the podcast, I briefly mentioned this article that I had found on my Facebook news feed. I ask that you read it as homework for our follow up podcast on the matter.
If you are lazy – I shall summarize: This is seemingly written by a man, who claims that guys don’t have it as easy as us gals think. Imagine a world where you are never gawked at, complimented, etc. when the media tells you that you are ugly. Apparently, that’s the experience of life for the man-folk.
The article also suggests “Tell a moderately attractive man that he’s attractive tomorrow in whatever way feels appropriate to you. It’s likely it’ll be the first time he’s heard it from a woman with whom he’s not in a relationship in a long while, possibly ever.”
I don’t want to tell you my thoughts on this article, because on Wednesday night (10PM Eastern, 9PM Central) we will be discussing this on the podcast. But – I want to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Additionally, LADIES.. Regardless of your thoughts on this article, I’d ask a favor that you do as the article suggests at least once, and let me know how it went. I have done so since the last podcast at least once a day, and will continue to do so until Wednesday. (Oh, and are there ever some fun stories already with that experiment..)
Soon2BeCatLady 
Hmm. Intersting. I read the article even though I am lazy, and, I somewhat understand what he is saying. I think the problem may be the way men are wired we would percieve such a compliment as a possible invitation for, or an interest in, sex. I think women may understand this, if not overtly, then perhaps subconciously. Women may also have a subtle fear of being labeled promiscuous, not necessarily by men, but by women. I think due to these elements of social conditioning women express elements of appreciating the attractiveness of a man in more muted ways like body language and laughing at the gentleman’s attempt to be charming and humorous, even when the attempt is missing the mark.
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I’m not going to say that either gender has it “easier” or “harder” than the other, that’s a matter of opinion, but I think that the writer did have a few accurate points. I’m a decently attractive guy and I can’t even remember the last time that a woman (that wasn’t family or in a relationship with me) said that I looked good that day.
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Yes, my ex-wife rarely paid me compliments even though she always felt the need to fish for compliments for herself. That’s not to say she didn’t because she did, it was just rare and when she did compliment my physical appearance it was a bit half-hearted.
The woman I am presently dating has paid me few compliments – she almost seems nervous about doing it. The best she has managed so far is that I have “sexy legs” – I would hope so considering I run 15 miles a week! When I reminded her of it she blushed and pretended not to recall.
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He sounds like a bitter idiot.
As a man…. I occasionally get compliments, which are always nice, but more importantly i equally feel pressure from the media to look a certain way or that I’m not attractive, healthy, fit etc enough. The media has done it’s job in making me feel inadequate, lack of compliments has nothing to do with.
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A self-confident guy would take it as a come-on. A guy with low confidence would see it as pity.
That’s why most guys only get compliments from their mothers!
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Great idea! I will try to do my best:) Life is an experiment for sure – the more you try, the more you learn. I hope I will make someone’s day:)
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Men don’t really care terribly about being complimented for their looks. People may play the “men/women are the same thing” card, but there are differences between the sexes.
Men dont care terribly about being complimented on their looks, BUT they do care about something – being men of quality. I recall specifically a conversation I had with an older woman, who commented ‘My husband is a good man, and I make sure to tell him that on a daily basis.’ The comment absolutely floored me. Instantly I felt not only an instant level of respect for that man, but a sense of overwhelming gratitude towards that woman.
Its true – men are rarely complimented. They are not complimented in the way that doesn’t matter (looks), and they are not complimented in the way that does matter (quality of character).
Then again, I also think there’s a heavily related crisis of masculinity; many boys today don’t know HOW to be men – thus the existence of this blog, and others like it.
Btw,regarding the notion that men have it easier than women – that notion is completely offensive to me. But, it’s an unsurprising notion in today’s society. Instead of rebutting it myself (having no experience as a woman), I’ll instead reference a woman who actually became a man – and a convincing one at that.
2006 Self Made Man: Norah Vincent chooses Female …: https://youtu.be/Ip7kP_dd6LU
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