Tag Archives: POF

Sounds like a recipe for disaster…

21 Mar

Before I give you the message-  I want to point out that this is only what crossed my mind – and it isn’t necessarily a “bad” message.   But it makes me go “Hmm..”

“hello my name is brian. I’m looking for someone that can go out and have a good time but is ok with a saturday night in. I’m not really a big partier. I’m really outgoing but would rather hang out with a few friends than go out bar hopping. I’m looking for someone to come home to after work, make dinner, and hang out on the couch. On the weekends, go out to target and the grocery store. Couple times a month go out to a concert or just out to dinner. I’m not looking for someone that wants to go out and drink ever friday night but can still go out and party every once and while. If that sounds like you message me back.”

First of all –  Brian is a very slender guy.   Very.   I feel that information is important.

So  – let’s dissect, shall we?

“I’m looking for someone that can go out and have a good time but is ok with a saturday night in”  —   Brian – that’s just on about EVERY girls’ online dating profile.

“I’m looking for someone to come home to after work, make dinner, and hang out on the couch. On the weekends, go out to target and the grocery store. Couple times a month go out to a concert or just out to dinner.”    —  Now,  while I appreciate that Brian is a very trim young man –  does he not realize that staying in, hanging out on the couch, eating dinner and going out to dinner on “date night” does NOT do wonders for a female’s metabolism?

I try very hard to be an active person.  I don’t necessarily enjoy it, but it’s important, as I like my clothes to fit.   The thought of sitting all day at my desk job, to go home, eat and do nothing on the couch scares me.   I know how that works out for me in the long run.   I get dumped for gaining weight.. when it would totally not be my fault.

Again –  it’s not that Brian sent a “bad” message, per say..   But, I think he should re-evaluate.   (Not to mention my hate for it because it’s a form letter.)

“They ain’t love handles if nobody loves ya!”  (Anyone else miss Will & Grace?)

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Trickery

20 Mar

“You still haven’t said when I get to take you out???”

That’s because you have not ONCE talked to me before, you strange strange man.

Seriously – why do some of you who parade the meat markets think we  are stupid?    Especially since most dating websites will combine messages from the same user-  so, it also INFORMS me that we haven’t spoken.

I wonder how often he gets a response to that message with “Oh.. oops!”

I’m sorry – but if someone believes I am going to be tricked into that –  I know that relationship would be doomed from the start.   I imagine he would be quite a manipulative catch..

Maybe I’m wrong.. but I don’t intend to find out.

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Tagline: I don’t like to wear pants.

19 Mar
Hey everybody!  This is J, filling in for the Cat Lady today as she tends to some family things that came up.  Yes, she’s a real person with a life outside of blogging and online dating.
 
Last week I decided it would be fun to move beyond my “this is me in real life” profiles and make up a bogus profile just to see what kind of responses it gets.  The fake profile was on Plenty Of Fish, which Cat Lady affectionately refers to as the “Meat Market”. The information I provided goes as follows:
 
Tagline: I don’t like to wear pants.
Occupation: I look good in my cubicle.
About Me: I just want to have a good time.
 
The photo that I put up was of my legs, sporting some fishnets and sassy five and a half inch heels. Rawr, I know.  However, I was also aware that due to the photo not containing my face, it would be removed once the site administrators were made aware of it. 
 
This profile went up Tuesday night around 10pm. By the time I awoke at 7 on Wednesday, I had received nearly 100 messages. Most were things like “Wow, I’d like to wrap those legs around my face” and other classy, yet typical POF messages (except with many more spelling and grammar errors – are these guys cavemen, really?).
 
By 7pm my photo had been removed. Sad.  I expected the messages to stop at that point; who is going to take the time to message someone with pretty much no personal information in her profile and no photo?  Boy, was I wrong!  I’ve continued to get 50-75 emails per day through this profile, which is even more than I get on my “this is me in real life” POF profile with photos and personal information.
 
I think my favorite messages are the ones that contain essay style erotica. Seriously, boys?  I know there’s no way in HELL you wrote that yourself. What kind of response are you expecting to get when you give me six paragraphs highly descriptively telling me what you want to do to me while on a picnic in the park? Hmm?
 
Here are a few other examples of awesomeness from the Meat Market:
  • You have a beautiful smile.  (Remember, the photo didn’t include my face.)
  • you dont like 2 ware pants wow you love fat c o c k.  (How are these things related?)
  • well could we ahve good time in the bed.?.  (Which bed?)
  • My fat dick has big loads u love a lot of cum.  (Umm…that’s nice.)
  • Do you ever see a guy and think gee I wonder what it would be like to give him the best blowjob of his life?  (Why yes, all the time.)
  • Hi, I’m ****. I’m interested in having a good time with you. I can host or provide a hotel. I will also compensate you for your time. (Is this real life?)
  • How are you today i’m so horny and want head how many creepy messages do you get in a day lol. (Including this one? Too many.)
  • i dontwant u to wear pants when ur goin to be riding me hard till i make u cum on my dik. (Ride’em cowboy.)
 
I think that’s enough for now. Hope everyone had a great St. Patrick’s Day!
 
~J

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