Tagline: I don’t like to wear pants.

19 Mar
Hey everybody!  This is J, filling in for the Cat Lady today as she tends to some family things that came up.  Yes, she’s a real person with a life outside of blogging and online dating.
 
Last week I decided it would be fun to move beyond my “this is me in real life” profiles and make up a bogus profile just to see what kind of responses it gets.  The fake profile was on Plenty Of Fish, which Cat Lady affectionately refers to as the “Meat Market”. The information I provided goes as follows:
 
Tagline: I don’t like to wear pants.
Occupation: I look good in my cubicle.
About Me: I just want to have a good time.
 
The photo that I put up was of my legs, sporting some fishnets and sassy five and a half inch heels. Rawr, I know.  However, I was also aware that due to the photo not containing my face, it would be removed once the site administrators were made aware of it. 
 
This profile went up Tuesday night around 10pm. By the time I awoke at 7 on Wednesday, I had received nearly 100 messages. Most were things like “Wow, I’d like to wrap those legs around my face” and other classy, yet typical POF messages (except with many more spelling and grammar errors – are these guys cavemen, really?).
 
By 7pm my photo had been removed. Sad.  I expected the messages to stop at that point; who is going to take the time to message someone with pretty much no personal information in her profile and no photo?  Boy, was I wrong!  I’ve continued to get 50-75 emails per day through this profile, which is even more than I get on my “this is me in real life” POF profile with photos and personal information.
 
I think my favorite messages are the ones that contain essay style erotica. Seriously, boys?  I know there’s no way in HELL you wrote that yourself. What kind of response are you expecting to get when you give me six paragraphs highly descriptively telling me what you want to do to me while on a picnic in the park? Hmm?
 
Here are a few other examples of awesomeness from the Meat Market:
  • You have a beautiful smile.  (Remember, the photo didn’t include my face.)
  • you dont like 2 ware pants wow you love fat c o c k.  (How are these things related?)
  • well could we ahve good time in the bed.?.  (Which bed?)
  • My fat dick has big loads u love a lot of cum.  (Umm…that’s nice.)
  • Do you ever see a guy and think gee I wonder what it would be like to give him the best blowjob of his life?  (Why yes, all the time.)
  • Hi, I’m ****. I’m interested in having a good time with you. I can host or provide a hotel. I will also compensate you for your time. (Is this real life?)
  • How are you today i’m so horny and want head how many creepy messages do you get in a day lol. (Including this one? Too many.)
  • i dontwant u to wear pants when ur goin to be riding me hard till i make u cum on my dik. (Ride’em cowboy.)
 
I think that’s enough for now. Hope everyone had a great St. Patrick’s Day!
 
~J

7 Responses to “Tagline: I don’t like to wear pants.”

  1. J March 19, 2012 at 2:42 am #

    Here’s another message I just got:

    “girl u are jus my type:)..i love a honest woman!! not to be like every other guy(perverts)lets be real now lol but if i was ever so honored to …id want you to lay on ur stomach while i kiss u from feet to booty..then gently bite ur cheeks lol i want u to pick a cozy position u can hold a while…and let me lick,kiss,suck,flick with my tongue til u cant take it…both lips..slowly..swirlin my tongue around and in n out..;) hope it wasnt too much but im a romantic kinky young man…goodlookin too!”

    How is that romantic???

    Like

  2. #31 March 19, 2012 at 5:06 am #

    (POF) hey gurl, is dis fo real? cuz i don be making dis shit up.

    (English) Wow…just…wow…

    Like

  3. J March 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm #

    Cavemen, I tell you! Cavemen!

    Like

  4. JON! March 28, 2012 at 1:47 am #

    So, do you think if I do this as a dude, I’ll get the same kind of and quantity of responses from the ladies?

    Like

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