A few moments in my mind.

18 Dec

I preface this by saying that I don’t really know where this post is going to go – and it could be all over the place.   So, that being said – here’s the random thoughts going through my brain at this current time.

I don’t know if it’s because of the holiday season – or for other reasons – but I just don’t feel like digging through the garbage of the online dating stuff today.   While I have met some really nice people online (a few of you know who you are..) I still think overall it is a huge joke.   I was discussing this phenomenon with a close girlfriend of mine the other day, and she said really it’s a wonder that online or offline anyone manages to find someone they truly connect with.  Amen to that.

I got into the “dating scene” late in life… and right upon entering it, had the real connection,  and was quickly removed from the dating scene.   Here I am, 6 years later, wondering why it is so hard.   I can’t figure it out.   It was SO easy before..  and it just isn’t now.

I was in a very blissful mood today.   I listened to a lot of music, and while I connected with just a crap ton of it today-  I had a stronger than normal connection to Phil Collins’ “Can’t Hurry Love.”     (You can’t hurry love, no you’ll just have to wait, just trust in the good times, no matter how long it takes.)   I don’t know how to say this without sounding full of myself,  but I have a strong sense today of being overall impressed with myself.   Today was a good day.   It started awesome, and ended productive at the very least.

Is it really hard to want to have someone who just makes you calm, and who just gets you?   Someone you can call when you have a bad day and instantly the day becomes better because they just make it so?   Someone to sing Kenny Rodgers’ “Through The Years” to with conviction in 50 years?   Someone who knows there’s problems, because nothing is perfect,  but is willing to work through them?     Apparently – this might be asking for too much.


One Response to “A few moments in my mind.”

  1. Jessica December 18, 2011 at 11:26 pm #

    Hey! You just followed me on twitter. (JCoSparkling). Gotta say, your story sounds pretty similar to mine. Started late (I blame the Catholics), never quite grasped how to do the dating thing. I’ve done a lot of dating since then, but I’d classify most of it as “terrible,” to the point where I submitted one of my terrible OKCupid dates to “myveryworstdate.com,” though I don’t believe they’re going to accept it (losers!)

    More recently, I spent a rather pathetic night in sobbing because a girl I had decided to help set up set up with an OKCupid profile (because I am stupid and do not understand what “competition” means in a small expat community) ended up dating the one dude who had messaged me in months with anything resembling a personality I’d be interested in spending time with.

    OKCupid is the pits. I tweet about it often. Being lonely when you know, both from experience and from an inner awareness, that you’d be a fricking badassedly amazing girlfriend to a deserving dude, is hard. I’m wishing you, and me, good luck and men.


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