Psycho Dan – Part 3 (Alternate Title: Take a fucking hint.)

12 Jan

We all remember and love Psycho Dan from previous entries – the “Wells Fargo VP” who will message and message and message, thinking this will eventually lead to what he wants.    He actually HAS left me alone,  but has leached on to J for the time being:

“forgot, there is a close up pic of me on facebook, dan k****y… I am in a black suit and from denver NC.. I need to update the location..”

J – knowing all about Psycho Dan from me, as well as a message or two of her own, ignored this message.

Two weeks later:

“nice smile, u are beautiful.. how are you? I am Dan..”

Two days later:

“I love your smile, we should get together.. I am Dan..”

Three days later:

“I really love your smile, and I see we have some things in common.. we should do a drink or coffee.. txt me ***-***-****”

“You have messaged me over and over. I’m not interested. Please stop.”

“yes I have, because you look like a keeper to me.. You should give me a chance, I think you would be surprised, I am a very nice guy, intereting, educated, and alot of fun… its only coffee… if there is no interest you will never hear from me again..”

“Apparently you think everyone is a keeper, as you sent the exact same messages to my best friend. My profile intentionally has very little on it. I’m not interested in your form messages.”

“I am sure I did not send the same message to your friend, noway.. take a chance, its just coffee, you will get a laugh out of my southern accent and a free cup of coffee.. you never know, u may really like me.. if you dont, u never hear from me again.. everyone can use friends.. I am sure I did not tell another woman on this site, that they have the most beautiful smile.. I only told you that, your smile is awesome..”

“We compared messages and they match nearly word for word.”

“but not the same message.. I type everyone of my messages.. and I am sure I didnt tell her that she has the most beautiful smile, because you do..”

“You did.  I’m not interested.”

“ok, Your loss.. I am telling you I am a very nice guy and its a missed oppurtunity..”

“Obviously you have no respect for others if they tell you “no” and you continue pushing. Do you really think that will make anyone change their mind? …and if they were to change their mind, would you really want to eat with someone who is so easily pushed around and doesn’t stand up for their opinions? Good luck with that.”

“I wanted to meet for coffee and talk, nothing more.. And you are not being pushed around, I am asking you.. Its a simple request, u are basing your decision on nothing, an email.. The only way you know for sure if you are or not interested is to meet and talk.. I bet you would be surprised, very surprised.. I am a nice guy, I was married 10 years before my wife died of cancer…”

J stopped responding –  if not because he was being outrageously obnoxious and it’s easy to get annoyed with him (cuz, I have totally been there…)  but also because giving someone a sob story to attempt to make them “give in” is low.

Two days later:

“you look like a keeper to me, we should do coffee.. I am telling you..”

“NO!”

“I would treat u better than any man on this earth.. u should take a chance, u would be shocked..”

“Absolutely not.”

“take a chance, u will not regret it.. if you are not interested after we meet, I will never contact you again.. but be careful, I am very charming, so do coffee at your own risk.. because I assure you, I would win you over..”

“I am not interested.”

Two days later:

“man u are a beautiful woman. I mean stunning..”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I am actually very very smart.. and a very nice guy.. U would be shocked..”

Two days later:

“I still love your smile, you should be a model.. instead of being in cubeville.. you are just a cutie.. wow.. I had to come all the way from NC, to see your smile.”

Dan does not know how to take a hint.   If someone says “No” repeatedly..  It means no.   It does not mean annoy the shit out of someone until they give in.    Dan probably IS a really nice guy –  but with his approach, he will NEVER get the time of day.    Insert sarcasm font:   Dan does not seem desperate AT ALL. 

I hope Part 4 will not occur..  especially since J and I are going to be kind enough to let Dan see this.   But – who knows.

2 Responses to “Psycho Dan – Part 3 (Alternate Title: Take a fucking hint.)”

  1. Audra January 14, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

    Haha! you followed me on twitter I guess to promo your blog. This shit’s hilarious. It’s funnier because I do the online dating thing too. I’m so jealous I didn’t think of blogging about online dating first.

    Like

    • L January 14, 2012 at 6:40 pm #

      Hey- there has to be more than what I have out there! Start one up!

      Like

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