Ladies – Get in Line!!

31 Jan

Online Dating Username:   AThickCumPump

Even though I could easily leave you with THAT and it would probably be sufficient enough – why leave out some of the awesome details?

Girls – get in line for this one!    This 29 year old bachelor needs “a girl to pound sperm into” on a regular basis.   His profile talks in length about his bedroom fantasies.

First of all – kudos for at least being honest.   Of course we already know that a strong handful of men attempting online dating are looking for the same thing- but they try to seem “normal” to charm you first.  I appreciate the honesty, because now I don’t have to waste my time.  (Not that I would have anyways– but more to come on that..)

This guy is (bless his heart) one who cannot grow facial hair.  Of course, his online dating profile does not state this,  but I can tell.   He looks like he is 16 years old.  A little facial hair would do him a few favors.   For some reason, he also selected to have 2 of his 3 pictures be photos of his torso, with a shirt on, that show off some man boobs – despite him being a thin guy.  I don’t really get it.

Remember how I have mentioned in the past that most guys write on their profile that they are “kind of a nerd”?    This guy does not –  but perhaps he should.   However, I suppose it is a moot point after reading his non-sexual interests of:  Anime, Manga, Video Games, Sci Fi/Fantasy Stuff and Conventions.       This guy who wants to “splatter your insides” with his “hot, thick, potent gunk” (ewwww!!)  is the Prince of the Nerds.

I think it’s safe to assume he clearly isn’t getting anywhere with the ladies in real life – so why not try the internet?   For some strange reason, I don’t think that’s going to work for him either.   ::shudders::

For the rest of my guy readers who have online dating profiles – go look at it, and if it says you are “kind of a nerd” please remove it immediately.   Once again, I can almost assure you that you are NOT even close to nerdy.

2 Responses to “Ladies – Get in Line!!”

  1. s4m4nth4x January 31, 2012 at 1:32 am #

    Ugh. If you have to TELL PEOPLE that you’re nerdy, you’re not. Let your love of sci-fi and Magic the Gathering speak for itself.


  2. B.V. January 31, 2012 at 2:44 am #

    I have a thing for nerdy guys, so I don’t mind if their profile says so.

    That said, I just looked over both mine & my boyfriend’s OKC profiles (we both still have accounts… hey, I met some good friends there!), and despite our obvious nerdy interests (mixed in with cool ones, like working on cars [him] and dancing on tables [me]), neither of us have the word nerd(y) spelled out. So you may have a point there.


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