20 Feb

It bugs me when I get a message on OKCupid stating that a particular user has added me as one of their favorites.   Most of the time, I have never even seen this person’s profile, let alone have actually had any sort of conversation with them.

Adding a favorite on there is similar to adding a friend on Facebook.  It tells you when they are online, and will update you any time they add a photo, or change something on their profile.

To me, this message says “This person is stalking you.”    Why wouldn’t you at least say “hello” first, or opt not to allow the website to INFORM me that you are stalking me?   (There is an option.)    I added a favorite ONCE.    I elected for them not to get a message about it- and after about a week,  I removed them from my favorites, because the whole thing was creepy to me.

If you have no other way to contact a person, I see where this is a nice feature, because you can log on and IM them right away (if they happen to have their IM feature on..)   but other than that- it seems really stalker-ish.. ESPECIALLY when I have gotten several of these and never hear from these guys.

Weird… just weird.

5 Responses to “Favorites”

  1. s4m4nth4x February 20, 2012 at 2:20 am #

    I AGREE. I never favorite anyone. If you want to talk to me, send me a daggone email.


  2. B.V. February 20, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    Before I met the boyfriend, and I didn’t know where I would be once my current job ends, I sometimes searched for the highest matches in the world. I found this really cool guy (99% match) in California; I liked his profile a lot. It seemed moot to contact him at the time, but since I was considering grad school near him, he stayed at the back of my mind. I later searched again for the highest match, and his profile didn’t show up! I tried searching just in California; it didn’t help. Many many searches later, his profile came up again. I added him (secretly) to my favorites, just for potential future reference.

    But I agree that very random people add me to their favorites… Or did, when I was still listed as single.


  3. SheeptheMoon February 21, 2012 at 4:48 am #

    I get this every now and then. I take it as kind of a passive-aggressive way of saying, “Hey, you should check me out/ask me out!” instead of just clicking the “mail” button.

    Some folks don’t have the confidence to do the approaching, you know?


  4. asianbadass February 21, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

    I agree that a lot of those people are probably just shy. The thing with OKC is that they have no such thing as a real screening process. And because it’s a free site you’re not dating as much as you’re playing a numbers game. I think at least half or more of the male population on that site are the type to get some other boy in class to find out if you “like” them like them. I weep for my gender…


  5. s4m4nth4x February 21, 2012 at 10:07 pm #

    I think that adding some one to favorites WITHOUT letting them know would be a good idea for future reference, like B.V. suggested. But when I get a message that some one has added me, and I see them looking at my profile EVERY DAY, but they haven’t said hi… It drives me NUTS! It’s the internet, not a bar – I mean, I TOTALLY understand people being shy in real-life, but online? Really?


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