Why You Don’t Get “No Thanks” in Online Dating

5 Jun

I will warn you ahead of time.. I am really cranky while writing this… for no reason in particular.   I will go on record and say I consider myself batshit crazy today – but the good news is:  I understand that my mood swings of today are irrational.


I am sick and tired of guys complaining to me that the girls not interested in them while online dating don’t write back and say “No thank you.”

1)  Girls get WAY more messages than guys – most of us have lives and jobs.   Responding to every message on here would make online dating a full time job.

2) I have done this – and I get whiny responses back, or other times mean responses back telling me that I am a bitch for not giving them a chance.   If you guys would accept “No, but thank you for your time.”  It might just happen more often.

Every now and again though,  I will respond back if I am not interested with a reason why.   Take this form letter for example:

“Hi! how is your weekend going so far? I’m enjoying the break after a long week of work, and its actually sunny today which has been nice. We’ve been having a lot of rainy weekends it seems.
Well I don’t do this online dating thing much but I liked what I read and thought I would introduce myself.
I really love music, and the simple things in life, I don’t need a huge house or a bunch of possesions to be happy. I just enjoy being oustside or with my family, around a bonfire, going to see a movie or sitting at home.
I really dislike judgemental people and I try to see the good in everyone or at least see things from someone elses perspective. I’m very giving and trusting, so I can be pretty gullable at times.
I’m just looking for that chance to meet somone who could be my best friend and more, who can teach me more about myself and more about them. Whoa that got heavy there for a second lol, simply put if you want to know more message me and lets talk. 🙂 Have a great rest of the weekend!”

There were several reasons, form letter aside, that I didn’t want anything to do with this guy.

1)  He doesn’t need a huge house or a bunch of “possesions” to be happy.   Although I don’t think I have a lot of possessions,  I do already own a relatively large house.

2)  This man didn’t have a photo..

3)  I even went and read his profile –  he doesn’t want children.

So,  because I felt in a polite mood in my mood swing of a day, I responded:

“I’m sorry – your lack of desire to have children is a deal-breaker for me.  Best of luck.”

“Could have just said no thanks, but thank god for small graces, I dodged a bullet thanks to you coming out and saying
hey I’m judgemental and I look down on you because of you’re “Lack” of desire to have children.

Way to showcase all the propaganda you’ve been fed by the media. You fit the dreamless woman “breeder” paradigm to a T.

Lmao, what a joke.”

Had this user not have been deleted for probably harassing some other person – he would have gotten a mouthful (screenful?) from me.

So – women aren’t allowed to want children anymore without being brainwashed by the media?!   I am sorry- but what the fuck is that all about?   Now, I know as well as everyone else should know that women hold the power in the baby making decisions.   It is way easier for a woman to sneakily get pregnant than it is for a man to sneakily not get her pregnant.    I know full well that if someone does NOT want kids, I am not going to change their mind.   I also know full well that no one will change my mind on wanting kids.   Why was me telling someone I don’t want a relationship with them judgmental?  I never said I looked down upon him for not wanting kids – but I am also not going to waste my time.   That is NOT wrong.

This man right here, among others, is the reason you guys don’t get your “Sorry, I’m not interested.”  messages.   Deal with it, or get out.

….And inhale….

6 Responses to “Why You Don’t Get “No Thanks” in Online Dating”

  1. kellig June 5, 2012 at 3:46 am #

    i not only like this post, i love it. this is a main reason why i stopped with the online dating. you were polite and responded and this asshat has to unload all his negative bullshit on you. calling you judgemental? hello pot, meet kettle… so then you are all upset and huffy and defensive, and wasted your brain power on said asshat. gah.
    i put an age range on my profle. a guy 10 yrs past my top out on age dumped a shovelful of crap on me via email when I said “thanks, but no thanks”. um, big difference between 55 and 65 dude, esp when I am 45. not looking to change your diapers in 5 years, you know?
    the point of online profiles is to screen out the people who’s wants and desires do not mesh with yours. a perfect example, perhaps the BEST frikkin example, is the desire/non-desire for kids. he obviously didn’t read your profile. ass.hat.


  2. sosassyandsingle June 5, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

    you have been nominated for an award!
    Check it out at: http://sosassyandsingle.com/

    I always love reading your blogs!!!


  3. Amy June 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

    Love this post! What gets me is the guys who practically BEG for you to respond to them even if you’re not interested, which I will from time to time, and then they unload on you. So I’m with ya. I will ignore messages when I don’t find the sender appealing. I’ve gotten so fed up with OKC lately. I’ve taken to using only the Locals mobile app and have found that the guys I’ll meet up with for drinks while knowing next to nothing about them (in a very public place, mind you) have been better experiences than doing the typical messaging back and forth for a while then deciding to meet up. Plus you already have less of a time investment, so if it doesn’t work out, no big deal!


  4. Manda June 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm #

    I think guys just need to stop being so pathetic and accept that no message means the lady wasn’t interested. When I was on dating sites and messaged a few guys, I knew what it meant when there was no response. Sure, it’s a little annoying to be ignored, but I just moved on until someone wanted to talk. No need to be a baby and whine about how a stranger wouldn’t give you a “no thank you.” And clearly, many men can’t handle the rejection when they hear it, so what’s the point?



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