Chiquita Banana

12 Oct

After you are online dating for too long with no results… you start to go a little crazy:

“really like your profile, it is very honest and real, you just cut straight to the details. In addition I like the rest of the profile as well, I was once told to be completely honest right away with a girl so here it is I think you are very beautiful and your eyes and smile are like a chiquita banana (haha just let me explain) they say that the Chiquita banana could quite possibly be the most perfect food in the world and I think that your eyes and smile could quite possiby be the most perfect ones in the world but I am not saying your fruity I would have to get to know you before I come to that conclusion(haha). I wrote you this to show you that I am honest, funny,real, and not your typical guy, I am, a bit old fashion when it comes to treating a lady like a lady, I hope to hear from you soon”


I find it amusing that he thinks he is a bit “old fashion” after comparing me to a Chiquita banana, and almost calling me “fruity.”    It’s also really cute that he thinks he’s funny.

3 Responses to “Chiquita Banana”

  1. Taylor October 12, 2012 at 12:53 am #

    Finally a guy that didn’t want you to straddle or suck his banana. I’ve been subscribed to your blog for over a month and nothing satisfies you. Post an example of something that a guy said that actually worked for you. Your glass is always half empty…as lame as all the messages you get it still gets depressing you’re shooting 99% of them down. The successful Tawkify phone calls that worked for you, post examples of why it worked for you. Toss your male readers a bone.


    • Belle Vierge October 12, 2012 at 1:27 am #

      She’s shooting them down because 1) they suck 2) they’re form messages.

      Here’s an example of a message from a guy with whom I stayed in touch for several months–if we’d been living in the same country at the time, I would have dated him. At the time, my profile was heavily francophile, I told guys they should message me if they liked hot tea, and I mentioned my love for Fred Astaire films.

      well, since you say that hot tea is a must, i figured i’d put my most recent favorite in the subject line. because, well….i can’t say anything wittty in french. just being honest here 🙂 i did spend about four days in paris right after i graduated college (as the end of my 6 week backpacking trip), and i rather liked the city. i knew just enough french to start asking for directions. and (like everywhere), the person looked at me a moment, decided he appreciated me trying but hated hearing his language butchered so horribly, and spoke to me in english!

      anyway, if you like fred astaire, you might appreciate this video someone put together of him dancing to “smooth criminal”

      It’s a short message. Nothing sexual. Nothing generic. No assumptions about me. He pokes fun at his poor French skills, but he’s not annoyingly self-depreciative. Oh, and we were a 90% match, for whatever that’s worth. Basically, it takes some effort to get a reply, and catlady blogs about the guys who make zero effort.


  2. Mia October 12, 2012 at 3:44 pm #

    The guy MUST be Latin! I mean ‘chiquita banana’ and he is ‘old fashion’…


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