Don’t Be Dumb

26 Nov

Not only will a message that could be sent to anyone scream “FORM LETTER!” at me, but throw in that I am online, you visit my page and 30 seconds later I have a lengthy message from you, and that also is a red flag.

However, this guy’s profile seemed interesting..  I decided I would respond anyway.

I’ll never know how to start these off properly. Mayhaps I am too neurotic. Question mark?

I’m a silly-goose and a bit of a nerd and if that sounds A-OK with you, please let me know.

I love that your personality shows in the words you’ve put in your profile. Makes me feel at ease. Which is why I’m writing to you. You sound like a very interesting woman whom I would like to get to know better.

Full disclosure. This message isn’t too long because I am just looking to get the ball rolling. I look forward to hearing from you.


P.S. You can call me [Shortened version of name]. It’s cool.”


“Did you just deal me a form letter? =)”

Now..  if someone calls you out on that,  really – that’s your opportunity to fix it.

“That was not my intention. It does sound a bit off doesn’t it (i.e. bullshit)? I’m just not very good at writing the first message, breaking the ice.
My apologies.”

“If it’s a letter you could send to anyone (i.e. not specific to the person) – it’s very form-ish.”

“No, you’re right. Thank you for pointing that out. I’m such a dork.
Nothing to see here. Moving on.”

I wasn’t really sure what to respond, but – again, attempting to give him the benefit of the doubt, I sent a smiley face.

“Is that a “finally, I don’t have to talk to that a-hole anymore” smile or a “yay, the dummy figured it put” smile?”

“..Neither? I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just really hard on myself. Now, to die alone.”

From here, to me.. all bets were off.  I am not going to coddle anyone.  That entire non-existent relationship flashed before my eyes.   No self-esteem and in constant need of reassurance?  No thanks.

“Maybe you should work on that..
Or – if you’re determined to die alone: 
Get some cats, that’s what I am going to do”

“That might work out because I’m deathly allergic to cats. Also, you quoted ‘Elf’. Nice. You probably won’t die alone. Me on the other hand.”

He gets a point for catching the “Elf” reference.   But, that’s it.   He stopped responding after I messaged back that we all create our own destiny.  Probably because I wasn’t feeding his starving ego.

If someone’s responding…  (especially when their profile indicates they may not..)  that should be enough of a pick-me-up.


One Response to “Don’t Be Dumb”

  1. butimbeautiful December 2, 2012 at 12:45 am #

    Youre strong! I fall for anyone I’m sorry for straight off! Good for you, Not Soon To Be Cat Lady.


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