I apologize for not blogging much lately, I have been taking a mental health break from the madness that is online dating. Sometimes it gets to be too much, ya know? However, I have still been practicing my flirting skills and chatting up complete strangers, as that is what I do.
Today’s story is one that I imagine would be a cute story to tell the grandchildren.
I was on a break at my job, and decided I would use the time to walk to the nearby grocery store to pick up some lunch. I didn’t bring a lunch to work, and I enjoy the walk. I hopped in the elevator, and before I reached the lobby, a few other passengers hopped on from other floors.
I wasn’t paying too much attention, as I was on a mission. Not far into my walk, a guy that had been on the elevator seemed to over take me. He wasn’t directly in front of me, but I could tell I was in his peripheral vision, and it seemed as though I was following him. Because I am very talented at making things awkward, I said, “Don’t mind me, I’m just stalking you.”
He smiled and said “Okay, no problem.” to which I replied, “So, where are we going?”
“The grocery store.”
“Sweet! I’ll be sure to stay a few feet back to give you the full effect.” (I was literally following about 10 feet behind him.)
He slowed down to allow me to catch up and said, “You’re not the weirdest person to ever stalk me.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!!!!!!”
We then encountered a group walking towards us, who seemed to know my new boyfriend. They stopped him to chat, and I walked on. Probably for the best, the poor guy probably wanted a quiet walk to the grocery store.
I arrived, found my way to the salad bar, and then to the self check out. Just as I was finishing up, my new boyfriend stepped up to the register next to mine. As I was passing him to leave, I said, “Hurry up!” and he laughed. I took off.
I got halfway back to work, when suddenly he was right next to me and said “I caught up!” It actually did startle me a little bit, and for my ego’s sake, I am going to pretend that he ran to catch up with me. (In reality, he seemed to be a pretty fast walker..) I asked him what he got for lunch, and he told me that he opted for the soup. He then went on to explain that he lives in Asia, and it’s hard to find soup that doesn’t have a fish head in it.
The rest of the way back, he told me that he used to live here, but relocated for work. He then told me about all the strange things they eat in Asia, such as chicken intestines, and other things that sounded absolutely horrifying. The elevator dropped him off, and that was it. No name, no phone number, no engagement ring.
I give up.
Soon2BeCatLady 
If you remember the floor he got off on, go stalk him. 🙂
Sent from my iPhone
>
LikeLike
I think you missed a crucial part of the story.
LikeLike
Well, it’s always fun interacting with new people, and keeping your flirting skills polished is always a plus! 🙂
LikeLike
Hey, this really could be the story of your next ex boyfriend and strategically stalking him should be easy.
You know he wasn’t on before you, so that eliminates your floor and any prior. He’s going to lunch at or around the same time too.
I say post flyers on each floor saying “if you’ve eaten animal intestines, call me”. Hehe
LikeLike
Everyone is missing the point that he lives in Asia and is only here for a few days.
LikeLike
Ugh!!!!! Sad DAY! This would totally happen to me… #foreveralone
LikeLike
For another day, don’t be afraid to be proactive with elevators. About 25 years ago a drunk coworker pulled me off an elevator and invited me into her hotel room. Worked out OK, we’re still together.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m impressed! You were bold and funny! I imagine he might have pursued you further if he didn’t live in Asia. I got off the dating sites and have been thinking a bold move like yours probably stands a better shot
LikeLike
At least for the short moment you dated you had 2 things in common, 1. you go to same grocery store and 2. use same elevator, that should hold the marriage together. Keep an open mind he only relocated there for work, he now has a reason to return.
LikeLike
So, I just came across this blog, and it was interesting at first! I was expecting more upbeat, positive stories. Instead, you complain a lot.
LikeLike
Lol. I’m sorry that you took me turning into a cat lady as a positive thing.
LikeLike
Additionally, try to read it more as making fun/laughing about instead of complaining.. because that’s truly what it is. 🙂
LikeLike
No ring? RUDE!!!
haha, love this 🙂
LikeLike