No Bitterness Detected

29 Aug

Kudos to @DatingMary who came across this profile, that shows absolutely no hint of bitterness or frustration whatsoever:

About Me:

I am looking for a woman who will:

– Turn down the radio when I am driving in traffic to tell me about your friend who always seems to date the same types of jerks because she’s an idiot

– Change the playoff game so that you can watch a rerun of Gossip Girl

– Ask a lot of questions during movies

– Ensure everyone understands how bad animal products are

– Leave her face on my pillow case when she goes home so it’s like she’s still there


Inquire within.  Thank you.  Management


If you are applying, please include the following obligatory pictures of you:

– Kissing a dolphin

– In the color race

– Skydiving

– With a statue or wax figure

– By the pool or on the beach taking a picture of your “legs and feet”

– In your car from an angle so it shows the backseat…. preferably with a child in the back

– Taking a selfie with your cleavage being front and center while your profile clearly states you will not respond to booty calls or “hey sexy”

Extra credit for pictures of your dogs and cats by themselves, bonus points if they are dressed up

Geez… trouble in paradise much?

Aside from not being in the same part of the world, I wouldn’t be a good match with him, because I only have one of his required photos (which I am now considering removing..)

I certainly hope he finds what he is looking for.  Be careful what you wish for, ya’ll!


8 Responses to “No Bitterness Detected”

  1. wifemothersurvivor August 29, 2014 at 5:00 am #

    Reblogged this on wifemothersurvivor and commented:
    This. This is one of the top 5 factors that keep me married 😉


  2. beautifulmess7 August 29, 2014 at 12:14 pm #

    Which picture do you have?


    • Soon2BeCatLady August 29, 2014 at 12:16 pm #

      Color run.


    • Soon2BeCatLady August 29, 2014 at 12:17 pm #

      Umm.. I mean.. Cats dressed as humans. 😉


      • beautifulmess7 August 29, 2014 at 12:18 pm #

        :). I have one of me kissing a dolphin, which is why I asked.


  3. Ricardo August 30, 2014 at 2:08 pm #

    Not all of the ones he mentioned are ‘bad’ pictures.

    Don’t trust the crazy to tell you what’s normal!


  4. Chin Up, Chest High! September 1, 2014 at 3:21 pm #

    I don’t know, it doesn’t necessarily suggest he is bitter. Admittedly, a lot of those above are typical male complaints of female profiles, I know I complained about some of those things too.

    It’s possible he simply has a dry sense of humour?


    • ajanczewska October 13, 2014 at 5:52 pm #

      I think he’s hilarious and obviously joking. . .


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