Once a Month..

9 Oct

You know a person takes online dating SUPER seriously when their initial message to you says:

“Im pooping”

I was bored enough to see where this was going to go.

“Congratulations!  Thank you for the update.”

“U  know whatdestiny is?”

(Oh my God, if it has something to do with pooping…..)

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“its a ps4 game”


“Anticlimactic”  (Uhh… yeah.. you’re tellin’ me.)

“Anythimg interestimg in the world?”

“I’m pretty sure you just told me the only two interesting things that have ever happened.”

“lol wut i mean like, whats up but more complicated.”

“I really can’t compete with pooping and PS4.”

“Lol well im actually playing ps4”

At that moment, I realized that being a woman, I could compete with pooping and PS4 (and even one-up him)..  and it just might scare this Prince Charming away.

“I’m menstruating, so that’s fun.”

“Thats amazing”   (Damn it!)

“I do it once a month!”  (Ba-dum-bum… I’ll be here all week.. tip your waitresses.)

“Ive always wondered what it looks like but women always say no”

“…It looks like blood.”    (However, now that I’m typing this.. it makes a LOT more sense that he wonders what a vagina looks like.  D’oh!)

“Amazing i admire ur vagina, its like a boxer”

..I probably should have asked for some clarification on that.   Like,  he thinks it punches people?  Or is comparing it to breed of dog that often has a bad reputation? But-  I got bored with him.



5 Responses to “Once a Month..”

  1. noyoupay October 9, 2014 at 7:23 am #

    For literary purposes – will you please ask him to explain the boxer comment? It’s amazingly confusing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Soon2BeCatLady October 9, 2014 at 8:53 pm #

      My fill-in podcast cohost figured it out.. “Bloody, like a boxer.”.


  2. MeAndDating October 9, 2014 at 11:43 am #

    On behalf of all the good, sane men in the world (and me) I do apologize for this fukwit’s behaviour. There’s somebody for everybody and for him it’s a shrink.


  3. Joe October 9, 2014 at 9:16 pm #

    He really started a conversation with a statement that he is using the toilet?

    Cmon, you’re joking with us right? No one I’ve ever met is that socially inept to talk to strangers about thier bowels.

    I’m not sure if this is real or parody.


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