Although I have been on an online dating hiatus this year, I have considered myself an online dater for 6.5 years now. If this isn’t your first time here, you’ve read the highlights. I have always expected a specific something to happen, but much to my surprise, it never did. I must say that I am a bit surprised that I had to take a break from online dating sites for this momentous occasion to arise, but it FINALLY happened! Let me tell you the story; it’s pretty awesome.
It had been a really frustrating week. People had been getting in my head, and I realized I had forgotten all about the dog’s insanely expensive heartworm meds. The icing on the cake was having a tent and racks of clothes collapse on me at a festival. I was defeated.
I changed into comfy clothes, and logged onto my personal Facebook page. I had a notification of a message request. (If someone not connected to you on Facebook sends a message- it doesn’t let it through until you accept.) The message said “Hi” and I accepted the message:
And there was his junk, all the way from Ireland. I’d like to offer two pieces of advice to the man-folk who send unsolicited dick pics: 1) Don’t. 2) If you don’t follow step one, you best be sure that your junk is actually impressive.
After much deliberation on how, I responded.
“Oh dear. You should really have a doctor look at that.”
“Send me a pic of your”
Haha! He sent another one! His mistake was adding a “Send me a pic of your” before the picture. Game on, I’d be glad to send you a picture. (Dear person on Craigslist who’s photo I “borrowed”, I’m sorry.)
So, I sent back a photo.
“I thought you be a girl”
He waited a few hours before writing again.
“R u a girl”
“Does my dick look like a girl? Stop sexually harassing women on the internet, man. It’s not cool.”
I don’t think he’ll be writing again.
Soon2BeCatLady 
THIS IS AMAZING! Love your response. 🙂
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First time here. That was really funny but not so funny when it happens to you the first time, I guess.
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Well I agree to some of your points, but my personal experience have been a little different till now. I have tinder and i feel at some point of time it becomes redundant and boring unless someone is really good at striking conversation. And it is a mixed feeling, on one hand it has a comfort of being a stranger and you can be absolutely frank and straight forward. On the other hand when you ask people to join on FB or whatsapp, there is a sense of consciousness that they are no longer strangers and they know a bit about you now. It is my personal experience but also from students I work with when they share their experiences.
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Please tell me this is not a defense of unsolicited dick pics
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I always send different dick pics back in response to unsolicited dick pics!! It always goes… WELL!
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I received so many that I considered doing a coffee table book with all of them. I nice (or gross) collection of all the penis pictures that were sent to me without my consent in an effort to solicited my…well I’m not really sure what their intention was. I learned, a lot of men like their package. Although I will admit, I’m one of those women who think the male package is attractive…when it is uninvited I don’t care how good it looks, that’s just sick. I remember vividly my first one…poor lighting and without warning. I’ve gotten some big ones, small ones, hard one’s, limp one’s, clean one’s and some that were so harry that I got a hair ball caught in my throat just looking at the picture.
I always shared them as well. My friends at work would always ask if I had gotten any new one’s and unfortunately I never disappointed. One of the ladies I worked out with was new to this online crap and got her first one. I told her, if I had it to do it all again, I would use one of those picture apps and add a props like hats, dresses and mustaches and send them back till I got an apology.
Oh well…sometimes I miss those days. Only in the way that I would have much more fun with those creepy dick pic guys now then back then.
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The Dick Van Dyke pictures make me so happy haha
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