Tasty Pussy

8 Jul

photolibrary_rm_photo_of_cat_licking_chops

I feel bad for any future sons that I may have.  I’m pretty sure “Mama CatLady” is going to sit down with them after high school graduation and discuss what is appropriate and not appropriate to discuss with complete strangers.  I think it’s safe to assume that this 27 year old’s mother (and many other mothers out there..) never did that:

“I bet you have a tasty pussy.”

There were oh-so many places I could go with this..

“Oh my God!  Are you the asshole that ate my beloved cat?  You’re the biggest jerk alive!”

“Huh?”

“Last week, my cat’s HEAD was put on my doorstep with a note from some asshole that killed her and ATE her… and today you randomly send me that message?   I’m calling the cops.”

I came up with this scenario because on the morn of my 24th birthday, there was a dead duck’s head on my front door step, with it’s eaten body a few feet away.   Granted, no note.. but there may as well have been, it was my BIRTHDAY!  (Seriously.. True story.)

“I have no idea what You are talking about ok.”

“Yeah, whatever.  Jerk.”

“Well it wasn’t me ok.”

I loved that he was avoiding clarifying his initial statement.

“Suuuuuuure it wasn’t.  Kind of an ironic message to send someone whose cat was just eaten within the week.”

“I’ve never meet you before so how could it been me huh.”

“I don’t know.. Apparently you think my cat tastes good.  Someone out in the world knows that information.”

“Well think what You want too think about it ok.”

“I am mourning my deceased cat since you’ve reminded me that she was CONSUMED.. probably by you, Asshole!”

“I love animals so why would I kill you cat.”

“WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOU BET IT’S TASTY!?!?!”

“I was talking about your pussy is probably tasty not your cat.”

“A pussy IS a cat!”

“It’s also a woman’s body part.”

“Show me in an anatomy book where it says that.”

“Fine vagina is very tasty.”

“You’re disgusting!”

“Bye.”

 

 

6 Responses to “Tasty Pussy”

  1. Lacey July 8, 2015 at 11:48 pm #

    Oh jeeze. Maybe I should mess with the scum bags who send messages like this instead of deleting them right away. This was pretty hilarious!

    Like

  2. akbfilms July 9, 2015 at 2:33 am #

    I love your response. I love everything about it. Excellent work!

    Like

  3. Ricardo July 13, 2015 at 4:22 pm #

    It’s pretty funny how he’s ok with sending an inappropriate message in hope of a response, but then he’s either too dense or too ashamed to get into it. Well done anyway!

    Like

  4. Nutella_Vodka July 31, 2015 at 6:32 pm #

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I miss reading these. Dammit CL, you kill me. 🙂

    Like

  5. Kate Bailey September 21, 2015 at 10:27 am #

    Great Job for doing that. Some guys really don’t know how to respect women. Smh.

    Like

  6. hungry donut May 1, 2016 at 7:46 am #

    #imdead # gonnasharethissitewithmyfriend #hedeservedit 😂😆

    Like

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