Tips to Maximize Your Online Dating Experience

3 Jan

I’ve been told that the best time to online date is the first couple weeks in January.  This makes sense, of course:  New Years Resolutions.  Often times, we singletons pledge to work harder to fall in love.   After that first few weeks of the new year, most newbies are scared away.  (I would assume this is either due to crazy messages, or no messages.)

But, behold:  The ‘girl who’s probably going to die alone with cats’ tips to maximize your experience!

Your first picture should be of JUST YOU, and looking pleasant.  Let’s be real,  this is your first impression.   If you are shielding your eyes with sunglasses, have an angry expression, are with a bunch of people, don’t have a face, etc.  You probably won’t be given a second glance.  Sure, you have other pictures.  Make him/her WANT to look at them!  I’m sure we’d all much rather have someone want to look at the rest of our pictures because our first picture was so hot, versus “I’m not sure, I best look at the rest of the pictures to verify I’m not interested.”

Let’s talk about the rest of your pictures.  A variety of full length and close up pictures are necessary.  Engaging in an activity you enjoy is helpful.   NO kids/babies, NO members of the opposite sex, preferably NO group shots (one is okay, but caption where you are in the photo.  Do you really want that cutie online to ask you if your friend is single?  YES, that HAS happened to me, and it’s awkward and sad.)

Oh, and possibly MOST IMPORTANTLY:  Your pictures need to be recent.  I’m talking taken within the past 6 months.  If it’s older than that, you need to delete it off your profile and replace it.

Your profile can’t be boring or generic.  I know, you hate writing about yourself.  Welcome to life.  If you struggle with profile writing, have a friend help you out.  It should be at minimum a paragraph (3-4 sentences) to a maximum of 5 paragraphs.  Expand on your hobbies.  “I like playing video games.”  is boring.  How about: “To settle down after work, I often hit the slopes on Cool Boarders 2.”   (Yes, that’s an insanely old reference.  I stopped playing video games in 1997.)

Update your profile often.  This is overlooked by many long-term online daters.  Once you’ve been on a site for awhile, you don’t show up in the algorithm as much as you did when you were a shiny new person.   Even changing out one sentence on your profile refreshes the algorithm to say that you are active on the site. Change your profile, delete and add photos.  Constantly.

Send messages.  Don’t wait for the babes to come to you!  A couple sentences is enough-  and I highly recommend asking an open-ended question about something on their profile.  “What is your favorite hill on Cool Boarders 2?”  This shows that you read what they had to say, and find them interesting as well as attractive.  You don’t get a list of interests of someone at a bar, but you do online.  Why wouldn’t you use that to your advantage?

And don’t be gross.  You know what I mean.  We know you want to see us naked.  Don’t tell us, or ask if it’s appropriate to tell us. Especially if you are a male, this isn’t a winning strategy.   If you struggle with knowing what’s appropriate,  have Mom read it before you send.

Be polite.   If someone isn’t interested, move on.  Don’t try to change their mind, or tell them they’re fat jerkface.    Don’t take things personal, you really know nothing about the other person.

Meet in public!  Why are you bothering online dating if you aren’t planning on meeting anyone?  A half hour coffee/tea date isn’t going to kill you.  Even if there is no connection, it can improve your skills for meeting with strangers.  (i.e. more dates, or a job interview.)  But, it definitely should be in a public place.  Also, be sure to let a friend know where you are going, and check in with that friend by a certain time and after the date is done.  Safety first.  I don’t want anyone to become “another statistic” on my watch.

**I was recently at a singles event, where the advice of “Have a phone conversation before meeting” came up.  I know the majority of us hate the phone, but it IS true that I could have saved myself from more than a handful of bad dates had I have done this.  I’m a believer in this step.**


I can’t promise you success, but keep an open mind and don’t take online dating too seriously.  You’ll be okay.

What other tips did I miss?  Leave a comment!

6 Responses to “Tips to Maximize Your Online Dating Experience”

  1. toldating January 4, 2016 at 7:47 am #

    I would add: try not to have a drink in your hand in every one of your photos.

    I see this a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. christopherscott3 January 4, 2016 at 9:23 pm #

    While it should go without saying, clean appropriate clothes and hygiene likely should be mentioned (especially for the male gamer crowd who may have been sitting at home on the couch the last several months wallowing in self pitty over not having anyone special in their lives again for the holidays).


  3. Ricardo January 7, 2016 at 5:27 pm #

    Also an important one: Don’t be afraid to tell something that might turn people off!

    While it may be nice for your self-esteem to have more people be interested in you, the more specific you are about who you are, the more likely you are to attract someone who will actually appreciate you. This kind of goes into the whole “don’t be generic” thing as well, but also includes not hiding who you are. These kind of things tend to bubble up eventually anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Christine Feminist January 26, 2016 at 2:51 am #

    And if all you really have time or interest in is casual sex, fess up! Nothing worse than someone who has a profile about how they just want to find the one, but what they really want is someone to have sex with sometimes. You have a much better shot at finding the latter if you admit to it (and yes, you might get random people from the internet chastising you…who cares)


  5. SocialMike February 10, 2016 at 4:18 pm #

    Offline, it is a fact that physical characteristics play a serious role in attractions for both men and women, the same is true online, so make sure to pick the right photos for your profile.


  6. rachelmanship March 2, 2016 at 6:07 am #

    I would say honesty is a massive one. The amount of times I have gone on dates to find out that the other person has purposely lied about something massive on their profiles is ridiculous. And I’m not talking about pictures that are a little old or being generous about their weight. I’ve had guys show up and reveal that they are actually still married, have children (when they have marked in their profiles ‘don’t have children’ and one guy told me he was 6.2 and when he turned up was no taller than 5 ft.


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