“Hey. Our profiles don’t match up that well but… Hi my names **** I think they match up enough to kinda see what’s up.”
This message (that REALLY sells our potential compatibility, by the way..) comes from a 38 year old man who claims he is looking for a girl who makes him laugh. Challenge accepted.
“The ceiling! :)”
Yes, I did respond back with probably one of the corniest dad jokes of all time.
“?”
“Oh boy..”
Did he really not get that stupid joke?
“Ok. Well I don’t get it so…. Just trying to talk”
He really didn’t get it. Wow.
I decided to visit his profile at this point, to decide if I wished to interact further. For my male readers who come here to find out what not to do in online dating, here’s a helpful tip: Don’t advertise that you still live at home! Even if it’s temporary. Even if there is a REALLY good reason. That information does not belong on your profile.
I decided to let this fish back in the sea.
An hour later:
“Oh the ceiling. Ha I get it.”
Two hours later:
“Got that one too slow. A test I get it.”
Twenty four hours later:
“Thinking about it today. Really feel like an idiot.”
Who would have thought a corny dad joke would make an ever-lasting impression on someone.. or at least a 24 hour dwell session.
Soon2BeCatLady 
LOL! Sometimes men do not get that we can be funny behind the screen!
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Some men are really thinking too slow…
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Women are so spoiled these days. And they don`t even know it. What do you prefer, getting those weird messages from strangers who say they like you, or never hearing anything from anyone? That is the reality for alot of guys if they join a dating site. Women don`t write to men, they are too busy going through the 150 messages they recieved last night. And how about this; I`m a 6 foot 3 norwegian, dark hair, slim and I work out five days a week. I like to think I`m not a monster at least, it could be worse. I should have a small chance. And I also live alone and I`ll probably continue to do that for the rest of my life. Becasue women today are so spoiled that guys have to compete with perfection. I`m not perfect and therefor I`m not interesting, women dont give a shit about me. I wish women could try being a guy for a while, all I do is wear myself out in a effort to be better and every night I sit alone in a house and look at a wall, waiting to go sleep. But yeah, poor women, 100 guys are throwing themselfes at you, some making fools of themselfes in the proccess because they really want to meet someone. How miserable, I feel for you, what an awful problem to have. People showing interest in you, how dare they, those bastards.
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Hi Huffda,
I feel you – I really really do. (I talk on my podcasts a lot about how online dating is a woman’s game, and how it’s very difficult for men.) My goal is to highlight some of the silly and ridiculous to hopefully assist the men. You asked if I’d prefer no messages, honestly: Yes. I deactivated my profiles in December and have yet to look back yet. Silly is fine, but harassing, sexual, etc. and responding to my polite decline with “Well, you’re fat anyway” isn’t okay.
I know a guy like you – tall, good looking, and says “poor women” and thinks he’ll be alone forever because “he’s not perfect.” – Honestly, that attitude is his biggest problem. A little bit of confidence goes a long way.
If you don’t mind – I’d like to read your comment on my Nothing in Common podcast (recording tonight) and discuss it with the guys. (Sometimes it easier to catch intent when you can hear tone.)
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Me again – I just went back and looked at the actual post you commented on – you do realize I was moreso making fun of myself, right?
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Well, then you did a terrible job because all I see is you making fun of people for trying. They mess up and you laugh, point at them and post their mistakes on the internet so everyone can laugh at it. Look at the stupid man, hahhahahaha. Evil witches, all of you. I`d rather be alone. It sucks but it`s better then being around women like you. I know women like you well, you never do anything wrong and you always have an explenation that explains how it was not your fault. Becasue you never do anything wrong. You are very annoying and childish. People like you make online dating a hellish experience. I can`t try online dating again, I dont dare, just one little mistake and some evil bitch will post it online so everyone can laugh at the idiot.
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Is there some of that going on here? Absolutely. (To be fair, not the intent of this specific blog post; I’m sorry you feel otherwise– this gentleman’s downfall was he was near 40 and lived with Mom..)
However, this project is far more to shine the light on how people will say anything behind a screen (like calling a complete stranger an evil bitch..) – especially comments that you just would not say to someone’s face.
You’re right, online dating sucks! For me, it’s due to crude comments. For you, maybe lack of response, or fear of being displayed on the internet.
You’d have to know me a bit better (I do suggest listening to Nothing In Common to give you an idea of my personality..) to get that although it initially may seem mean to have a blog at all, but it really does come from a good place, and is intended more as a help than a harm. (My best friends fiancé had the same opinion of this project before meeting me, and ended up re-reading and praising after getting to know me.)
All that being said, I’m sorry this blog and online dating frustrates you. I get it. I’d be glad to have a phone conversation with you if you’d be interested. (You’d have to shoot me an email note for my number.)
And my best guy friend will tell you that not only am I wrong a LOT – but I admit it, too. 🙂
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Since you dont seem to understand, I`ll explain what happend. That guy was nervous. He tried hard to get a converssation going and not say anything wrong. So when you said “the ceiling”, it made no sense to him becasue it didn`t fit in a normal conversation. I would probably have made the same mistake, I would have read that line, the ceiling, and thought “what the hell……what is she talking about? Did I miss somehting here..?”. People get nervous when talking to strangers, maybe especially a woman, maybe they want to make a good impression. So all this guy did wrong, was wasting that time on you. He should have shut it down immediatly after “the ceiling” and moved on.
And if you think guys are difficult, women are no better. The last one I met online I tried very hard to make a good impression and not say anyting stupid. The fifth message I recieved from her was a picture of sex toys spread out on the floor. 13 of them! I did not know this person and we had exchanged four messages. Who does that? I moved on and thought my God, theres some insane people out there. But yeah, men are stupid animals, lets laugh at them, all togheter now: hahahahahahha. So funny.
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Women are definitely difficult, too!
Holy cow!! Your sex toy message! You are right, seriously who does that!?
(I’m definitely difficult, but goodness, I’d never do that! Not even after dating a year!)
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Online dating can be a wild ride and it shines a big light on the problems associated with our world of instant gratification. I see how easy it is to become bitter and blame … it’s much more difficult to try and understand how this experience is from the other side. A blog like this might really help men understand the kinds of messages they get and how it skews the lens to view men in a negative light .. first.
Instead of lashing out , try to understand that because of so many negative exchanges a woman has to have her guard up. This was my “aha!” moment. If you don’t find a way to help her feel comfortable enough to let her guard down , then nothing you say or do is going to make it through. Doesn’t matter if you’re a 6 Ft 3. Norwegian with the body of an Adonis,not many women are going to let you in if you don’t know this.
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