Excessive Messaging

7 Oct

I have all my online dating apps on my phone these days.  I know I could probably adjust my settings, but as it stands right now, my phone beeps every time I get a new message on any of these sites.  I need to know if my future husband has finally found me!

One of my biggest pet peeves in online dating is excessive messaging.  Give me a chance to read your message, process it, and possibly respond!

“If I could be king I’d take you as my queen”

“Okay, Eric Clapton.”

Keep in mind, the following messages were all approximately one minute, and one ding apart:

“Darn straight”


“Anybody that nows Eric Clapton is cool in my book”

“Shine it on my heart”

“And never dies alone with cats”

“Your pretty”


“Wink wink”


“What do you like to do for fun”

“I’m a secret Dave Matthews band fan jk”


He gave me about a ten minute break before starting up again. Ding! Ding! Ding!

“You guys”

“One thing about me is Im a cool guy and I need to stick up for myself a lot more”

“Easy to get along with”

“My profile kind of sucks I guess don’t go off that though”

“Your probably at work hit me up if your interested”

“I think you might be a little too intense for me.”

This conversation did go on forever.  I had saved screen shots of what I have posted, and tried to go back and find the rest, but must not have saved it.  Long story short, and similar to the rest:  I became the world’s fattest, most terrible person, in no less than 15 messages. And then begging for the next 15 messages, one right after the other.  Eyeroll.

Let’s briefly talk about one of his messages that stood out to me:   “My profile kind of sucks I guess don’t go off that though” — What!?!?  If your profile sucks, or only kind of sucks:  FIX IT.   Don’t point out the negative about what you’re selling!  Your online dating profile is marketing YOU.   Could you imagine if TV ads today were like “Try our toothpaste!  I guess sometimes it makes your mouth bleed, but don’t make your decision based on that!”

Bottom Line:  Sending a thousand messages after getting a green light comes across as very needy.  The only type of person I could see this working on is someone equally as needy, which will likely be a turn-off.   I know it’s exciting to get a response to your message, but CALM DOWN!



One Response to “Excessive Messaging”

  1. Paula Light October 7, 2016 at 9:42 pm #

    That happened to me once on OKC. Guy began messaging hellooooo hi hi hi! He saw I was reading his profile and got all excited. I said hi, give me a minute ~ funny answers. And then he was funny. We had a few nice convos. And we texted. He was real, with a full name and local business, but it seemed he never wanted to meet, only text funny things. Which would have been great if I’d been looking for a phone comic instead of a real tomance.


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