Punches in the Face

4 Jul

I won’t encourage poor behavior, but part of me wanted to respond to this and ask him how much, because he would lose the bet he is offering up:

“I’m willing to bet a lot of people have told you that the way you look makes them want to punch you in the face.”

What does that even mean?   I could see that going a lot of different ways..   Am I hideous, and people want to make it worse?   Am I gorgeous and people are jealous?   Do I wear my makeup like a clown or something – I know how some people feel about clowns..

Honestly, though.. I think this guy is trying anything to get a response from someone.   Guys – remember what I keep saying – before you send that message to someone -think ahead to a potential marriage.   When people asked how you met, and your girl quoted your message back – would you be okay with it?

My First Tawkify Phone Date

3 Jul

Yesterday I had my first Tawkify phone conversation with a match.   The two hours leading up to it were nerve-wracking – not so much because of what it was, but I was more or less freaked out that I would actually know the person. (Story of my life, right?)

The call was supposed to begin at 10:00pm, so I nearly jumped out of my pants at 9:00pm when my phone rang.    It was the online dating robot butler, reminding me I had a call in an hour.

10:00pm rolled around, and my phone rang for real.   I pressed “1” to be connected to my match, which at that point,  I only knew his first name, profession and two interests.   (When I found this out, my nerves were calmed, because there was no way I knew him in real life.)

We both said “Hello?”  and introduced ourselves.   I immediately jumped into “Have you ever done this before?”   He had, two other times.   Didn’t really make any sense to me why he was so nervous.   You know when you are so nervous and uncomfortable that words just can’t seem to stop pouring out of your mouth, a mile a minute? ..That was this guy..   It didn’t bother me, because I’ve been there…  but, really, it’s just a phone call – it wasn’t that scary!  So, most of the conversation, I heard a lot about his job, and how he got to his job.  (Yet, I couldn’t explain it in a life or death situation.)

He misheard me when I told him what city I was from, and thought I said “New York.”   (Hint:  I am not in New York, city or state.)   He told me he actually plans on moving there as soon as possible.   Hmm – that stinks because I have no intentions of moving anywhere in the near future.   I corrected him, and explained where I actually live..  turns out he lives an hour and a half drive away.   When it comes to considering dating someone,  distance is definitely a factor – and sadly that’s too far.

I did get his number at the end of the call (despite not wanting to – but I have trouble saying “no” to people when put on the spot..)  and called him back.    If nothing else, more or less I just wanted to know a bit more about him to see, had he lived closer, if he is someone I may have considered meeting up with.   I asked him about a fast food chain that I know is in his area, which is no longer in mine..   I could feel the eyeroll before he informed me that he is a “Foodie” and that’s not what he classifies as good food.   Being a picky eater, this pretty much settles that even if he were close,  it probably wouldn’t work out.

So – Tawkify Phone Date #1 –  not my future husband.   We’ll see next time!

Panties

3 Jul

“i would like to see you in your panties

do you have a dark side?”

Weird.. cuz I would like to see dinner and intelligent conversation.  I guess both Horndog and myself won’t be getting what we want anytime soon, or ever if we’re being honest.

Haha.. Do I have a dark side?   This blog is my dark side!

**

In other news – –   I have a Tawkify phone call tonight!   I am excited!   10 minutes to talk to a complete stranger.   I would love suggestions as to things to talk about so I don’t have to endure any uncomfortable silence!

(Also please keep your fingers crossed it isn’t my ex-boyfriend on the other end of the call!)

$27

2 Jul

“if your boobs are real i’ll give you $27”

Twenty. Seven. Dollars?!   What on EARTH am I supposed to do with twenty seven dollars?   Where did that figure even come from!?

Geez,  I know I have decent sized knockers.. but they aren’t fake, nor do they look fake.

This message doesn’t even warrant a response, either, because of course if I say anything,  I will be asked to prove the realness.  (Maybe I don’t know enough about fake breasts.. but is there a way to prove it, either way?)

Boys- quit driving me insane!  I don’t WANT cats!

A New Online Dating Website, That’s Not Online Dating at all!

1 Jul

A friend of mine (who I happened to meet through an online dating website) sent me a link to an article about a new online dating website, which truth be told isn’t really online dating afterall.   After reading about it, I immediately became intrigued.  I had planned to write about it after I had the chance to use it, but a few of my Twitter followers got angry..  so, just plan to hear more about it in the future as well.

The website is called Tawkify.   As I said before, it’s not really online dating.  You answer a few basic questions (hobbies, what you are looking for, etc.)  and the website owners are going to find someone for you.   (Side note:  They also use your Klout score if you have one..  If you don’t know what Klout is:  It basically tells you how influential you are in social media..   I don’t know how much I trust it, as on my personal twitter, Klout says I am influential in bowling, which makes NO sense..  But, I digress..)   Once they find someone for you – you can choose to either talk on the phone, go for a walk, or go on a mystery date.

I signed up, and immediately got a call from their online dating robot butler.    It actually made me a little nervous.  (The excited kind of nervous.)   It wasn’t a match yet, as those happen on Mondays, I hear.

No phone numbers are exchanged unless you exchange them on your phone call (if that is the option you choose.)   And the call will end abruptly with no warning in 10 minutes.   If you want to talk to the person again,  you alert Tawkify, and if the match does the same,  you get a phone call again the following Monday.    So, really,  you have 10 minutes of your life to lose.   (Or a walk, which is good for you.. or an hour-long mystery date, which sounds fun!)

What I like about Tawkify, at least out of the gate, is that you don’t go through a bunch of information and pictures.   I am getting so tired of that.   I feel it’s unfair to rule someone out for a bad photo, because let’s face it..  A lot of the world is not photogenic.    And, don’t we all find ourselves finding one tidbit of info about the person we’re online shopping for that we think “Nah..”   Maybe it is time to go back to the old fashioned blind date.   And, it’s ideal that someone who barely knows you is doing the setting up – because they don’t know your “but.”  (How I Met Your Mother reference:  “She’s really great, but…”)

I don’t even think I would be ashamed to publicly admit I met someone I was dating through Tawkify.   Let’s be honest,  if I meet the love of my life on POF,  we will be making up some story as to how we met..   You may not know or believe this,  but Soon2BeCatLady is actually a pretty classy chick.

So – I am totally going to do this, and I hope you readers also on the prowl for internet love give it a shot too.   It’s not free.. (If you have a Klout score of 40 or higher, you will get at least one match free.)   but until tomorrow (Sunday, July 1st, 2012)  there is a half-off special.   I bought 3 matches for $25.    (Or you could get 1 match for $10.)

So, stay tuned and I will let you know how it goes..   and let’s discuss also!  Tell me your thoughts via Twitter or comment here!  (And at least look at Tawkify.com, as there are a lot of other neat features too..)

Phone Sex

30 Jun

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

“Im not gonna wear a condom for phone sex with you. Just letting you know up front.”

I am so glad he made that clear in his first message to me.   I think it’s hilarious.

I can’t even rant about it..  I’m still laughing too hard.

 

Chipmunk

29 Jun

One of my Twitter followers sent me an interaction she had on the meat market today:

“Oh no, a chipmunk has escaped from the forest! I’m calling pest control now…”

Now, I have seen her profile, and I don’t understand where this would have came from..  She is adorable, and even so much as got a message once that said:  “Your profile, I swear I’m going to print it out and post it on my fridge for all my friends to admire! Keep it up you adorable lil’ nerd.”

Personally, I think any guy could easily fall for her, because aside from being super cute,  she advertises in her profile that she has gone bungee jumping…. naked.

Anyway- she responded:

“I don’t get it… are you saying I have fat cheeks or am furry?”

*

“You exude an aura of mischievousness fused with a patina of happy-go-lucky.  In a word, a chipmunk.  Notice also that chipmunks are pretty mobile and like to scamper about hither and thither with rapidity…

List a couple of places you’ve lived before (says you’ve bounced around a bit on your profile)…”
Okay-  that’s kind of endearing..  He definitely took a shot in the dark with this message.   I, personally, probably would have not asked for clarification and would have been offended that he was calling pest control.    I am NOT a pest.  (Okay, I totally am.. but that’s beside the point.)
If nothing else of his message was good news:   At least he knows big words!

How Can Someone “Get It” and Not at the Same Time!?

28 Jun

Dearest Author of the latest Meat Market Message,

I don’t know what I think of your message.   Parts of me likes it; it’s clever..  but part of me wonders what the hell you are doing.    It’s quite obvious that you get what you are supposed to do – but why then aren’t you actually doing it?!

“Generic overexcited greeting! Obvious reference to your profile information, with or without drawing a comparison between what we put on our profiles. Rhetorical question? Rhetorical answer! Unnecessary semi-forced witty remark. Laughing onomatopoeia! Humble request for future communication?”

Again – I like it because you seem to understand what an online dating message should look like.. but it bothers me that you are lazy and just copied and pasted something you have sent to every other chickadee that has caught your eye.  Which is the exact opposite of what you are supposed to do… but you already know that.

So – I guess what I am trying to say is:  Simultaneously,  you are a genius and a moron..  with probably the latter reigning slightly more dominant.

Best of luck to you,

Soon2BeCatLady

 

Chamber of Secrets

27 Jun

I am sure there is some nerd part of this message that I don’t understand..  but I think even if I understood the reference, it’s still weird.

“I want to open your pipes and enter you chamber of secrets. . And masturbate untill dumbledors elder wand make you come out your ears”

…Anybody?

Dumb Jock

26 Jun

Does anyone have any success stories in finding a bed buddy on an online dating site, WITHOUT A PHOTO!?   I just can’t imagine anyone being that stupid and/or desperate.

That being said — Today’s message comes from a photoless male:

“OMG WOW….You’re hot!!!!!!!!!! i think you’d like my body”

Kudos to him for using punctuation..   At least in that regard I am impressed.  But alas, I am not online looking for a bed buddy – and he doesn’t have a photo..

“We’ll probably never know.”

“whats your email…i will send a pic”

Part of me was tempted… but common sense got the best of me.

“No.. that frightens me.  And besides.. I am more about the personality than the body.”

That is a true statement, granted I do actually need to find someone attractive… but they don’t have to be “hot.”

“i dont have a personality. just a dumb jock with nice buns lol”

Oh geez..

“Well, then we’d never work out.”

“i workout all the time…”

“I’m sure you do.”

..I guess this beats “You’re ugly, stop online dating.”  Right?

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →