Soon2BeCatLady

Good morning!

New message:

“Hey there,   (he did reference something on my profile in his salutation,  hence getting a response from me.)

I’m a 32 year old guy that works in IT. I hate my job and love it at the same time. I’m a country boy at heart and basically live near the city for my career.

I love the company of a beautiful woman. I particularly like a woman with a bit of attitude. I also really like a woman that knows what she wants and isn’t embarassed, repressed, or too scared to go for it.

Really I am a pretty normal person though I do have some decent qualities. I tend to listen well. I pay attention to my partners needs. I feel I am a good provider. I have a pretty snappy sense of humor.

So if you would be interested in playing let me know ;)”

Okay – seems mostly normal.   “Playing what?”

“Doctor or maybe you would prefer hide the salami?”

“No thanks.”

“Aww bummer :(”

I received what could very easily be another form letter… or another case of someone who didn’t wish to read my entire profile through.

“If this was me passing you on the street, you’d make me stop, turn, and if bravery surged (and my fear surfaced that I could lose a potential chance of having someone intellectual and wonderful in my life), I would tell you that you have a radiant smile and ask permission to call you…

But since online I’ll send an email 🙂

Maybe we can share a bottle of wine sometime soon, even though I hate sharing :)”

What makes me laugh about this is,  my profile pictures are all kind of “artsy” ones, and I am not really smiling in any of them.

I was surprised by a message one day that said “I remember you from Livejournal.  How are you?”    Livejournal, eh?    While I did have a live journal, it was almost 10 years ago – and my page was private and I only interacted with close friends.   “You knew me from LJ, huh?  Tell me more about that, as I haven’t used that website in a long time.”

“Well yeah, me either – since about 2006. But I’m pretty sure we connected on there at one point. I have a really good memory.   Anyway, would you be interested in talking more and maybe going out sometime?”

At this point, I am pretty sure that the whole thing is a line to get people to meet up.   “I too have an amazing memory.. which is why this surprises me. What was your name on there?”  is what I respond.   “Actually, I went under a few different names on there. I believe we met and talked a bit through one of those LJ communities, ya know..   Honestly, I would tell you what my last username on there was… but that journal is still up online and I wouldn’t want anyone to read it now because I’ve changed and matured since then.   We didn’t chat a whole lot on there. So if you don’t remember me, it’s cool.  My real name is Matt* btw. Ring any bells?”

Okay – so more and more I am thinking that this is a line.  And again,  livejournal wasn’t used much by me,  I didn’t use communities,  and it was all private.  In no way did I mean this to come across as anything other than factual, I responded:

“You have the wrong person. I didn’t do any sort of groups on there and only interacted with my friends- hence you saying that being weird.  I assure you we never interacted.”

“Wow. Nice attitude! Like I said, we didn’t chat much on there. But I can assure we did talk. Maybe we didn’t meet through an LJ Community like I thought. But hey… I obviously knew you had a Livejournal somehow?  Whatever, if you want to embarrass me or try to convince me that I’m wrong… go for it! It’s not even that big of a deal. You’re a pretty girl but I can see why you’re single now. Good luck to you.”

Even if I HAD interacted with this guy –  what are the chances of wanting to meet someone who clearly has anger issues?   Next..

*Name was changed to protect this sad man.

On November 5th I received what I can only imagine is a form letter.  Unless this guy quickly confused me with someone else,  I take this message as a SEVERE case of “does not know how to read.”

“I enjoy both shopping and cuddling. 🙂 Haha…you love kites as well, then we already have something in common.
I have read your profile and you seem really down to earth. I was just wondering how could someone as beautiful as you still be single? Are you more selective?

~Love thoughts”

No where in my profile do I mention shopping or cuddling.   Truth be told, I am not shopping’s biggest fan.  I certainly 100%, and I have re-checked about 9 times, do not mention KITES anywhere in my profile.   Seriously,  kites?   Ladies – are any of you actually mentioning KITES in your online dating profile?

Learn to read, “Love thoughts”… Learn to read.

I was browsing one day in August, and came across Darren.  He is a kindergarten teacher, and basically describes himself as caffeinated and always on the go.   He obviously likes children,  and says that he sometimes listens to Christmas music randomly throughout the year.  (I do this sometimes too.)    Based on this minimal profile information, I think he is someone who could potentially be a good match for me.   The only downside is he lives about 25 miles away.

I send him a message.   We talk at length about summer activities we have been doing,   our jobs,  I learn a lot about Kindergarten curriculum and how much it has changed since we were in Kindergarten.   After 2 weeks of going back and forth,  he asks if I’d be interested in meeting up.   “That sounds fun!”  I tell him.

He then proceeds to ask if I like the State Fair.   Score!  I LOVE the State Fair, but never really can find anyone to go with.. so this is perfect.    And at least if things get awkward, there’s enough going on where as there should be at least SOMETHING to talk about.

So, we set up to go on a Friday about a week and a half away.  I give him my phone number.   He told me he’d text me in a few days.

The Tuesday before our “date” I get a message from him on the website:

“Hey,
Just to let you know, we had a family emergency this week. I hope everything will be okay in the end, but I do not think that I can meet this Friday. I’m so sorry that I can’t meet you. I hope that we can meet up sometime soon!
-Darren”

I respond:  “That’s alright…  Hope everything is okay.”

..and I have not heard from him since.   I would suggest he has fallen off the planet, but he has been on the website since then.    Oh well..

My online dating profile specifically states that if someone’s message to me does not show me that they actually took the time to READ my profile – then they will not receive a message back.   I got really tired of getting messages that said “Hey, what’s up?”  or “What do you like to do?”    Why on earth are you messaging me?   I am more than a face.

I also received a few form letters.  Insanely long messages that could easily be sent to anyone.  It worked once, it should work again and again, right?

I am not on this website looking for a booty call.   Yet, even with my disclaimer:  I still get messages that make it quite obvious that this new person trying to be my friend can’t read.

A message from someone I can only call “Meow316”  proves my case:

“r u the kinda who waits for prince charming or the kind who dominates the boytoys before playing lady gagas love game”

….Wow….

I will first and foremost start this out by saying that never did I ever anticipate being someone who attempted “online dating.”    Unfortunately,  my boyfriend of over 5 years decided it was time for him to “find himself” (don’t get me started) and I am left as a young single girl – who doesn’t know how or where to meet people.

My job consists of mostly females.  I’m not really a barfly – and even if I were – it’s really not an ideal place to meet someone.   I looked into Events and Adventures, but it was expensive, and I’d much rather use my discretionary income on other things, such as my house.

Online dating it is.   I signed up for a free website, and here is where I will share on how this whole thing goes.  I joined in April – and have decided now that I need to share just why I think the world may soon be seeing an influx in crazy cat ladies.