Cougar Town

26 Feb

You want to know the absolute BEST way for a young woman of only 31 years to start her day?

By getting THIS online dating message:

“Heyy my name is John, I am 22 and hoping to meet an older woman (A Cougar )  I’m very fit, clean, spry, & open to anything.. If you are at all interested in dabbling in a riskE, flirtatious, liberal thing … Message me back for a kik opentrail and or snapchat sir_knox

It would be fun

I’m quite cute


Normally I would block out identifying information, because I’m a nice person.. BUT DID HE JUST CALL ME A COUGAR?!   The interwebs tells me that the most acceptable answer for the “age of a cougar” is 40+.    Honestly, I think that’s cutting it a little young.

I am not joking when I tell you he sent this message at 7:01am.   Just 27 short minutes after I rose out of my bed.  I literally woke up to this message.   Young fellas out there:   If you are, indeed, looking for a “cougar” –  I promise you, nothing turns a woman on more than being told she’s old.  Definitely try this kid’s method:  Pick the under-cougar aged woman who’s profile picture is her dressed as a NOT SLUTTY Minnie Mouse, and tell her you think she’s older than dirt.

I was glad I decided to take a few deep breaths before crafting a response to this ankle-biter.   Digitally yelling is probably what he was actually after, unless I perhaps was into puppies.   (Some guys get their rocks off by people insulting them..  I don’t get it.)

“I have scoured for you, and unfortunately they only seem to sell baby tigers and lion cubs.  Sorry I couldn’t have been of more assistance.  Good luck!” 

I’ll be honest, I was expecting a little more than his response of “Witty” but.. at least he took the hint that I wasn’t interested. is not a real thing.. But there are websites that sell lions and tigers (and bears, oh my!)  Those are the cats I’m going to get once I cave.

3 Responses to “Cougar Town”

  1. melissagreen79 February 26, 2016 at 11:29 pm #

    I thought cougars was a term used for any woman interested in a younger man and there was no age restriction….


  2. melissagreen79 February 26, 2016 at 11:30 pm #

    And still unclear why men who are interested in younger women aren’t called that….


  3. hungrydonut May 1, 2016 at 7:15 am #

    oh-my-God- Becky! lol I got a similar message too, the blow was he said he’s into “older” ladies (I’m 34, I’m. it ther yet let me have the death grip to saying I’m still young!) he was 21. smh.
    I’ve never felt so old. I don’t even look old or feel old dammit


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