Today I present to you, my dear reader, a fun CatLady fact. On a random whim six months ago, I went to the optometrist. I hadn’t had my “Disney Eyes” checked since grade school, and was about to sign up for insurance and wondered if I should purchase vision coverage. (Oh Adulthood, you’re so fun!) I assumed I still had perfect vision, but when I was asked to read the letters on the wall with my left eye – my soul was crushed. I am now the proud owner of way more pairs of nerdy glasses than I’d ever be willing to admit. (Most women like shoes. I hate shoes. But give me ALL OF THE NERDY GLASSES!) This is necessary information for today’s online dating horror story. By the way, this post is NC-17.
As much as I would like to, I just can’t take Tinder seriously.
I love the pigtails
As you can probably guess, in one of my Tinder pictures, I sport some very foxy pigtails.
Any luck with Tinder yet?
How many pairs of eyeglasses do you have?
Oh my goodness.. a LOT!
And always on the lookout for more – so if you have any awesome online glasses store recommendations, send them my way!
Do you ever use them as an eye shield during blow jobs?
REALLY, dude?! I was caught off guard, and wasn’t feeling particularly clever, so I had a contest among a few of my friends to determine the funniest way to respond to this.
What’s a blow job?
I probably should have known better than to respond with that.
Oh? Innocent huh? Its when you kneel down in front on me and i pull out my cock, you open your mouth and see how far you can get it down your throat, and start sucking and tugging on it, taking breaks to suck on my balls. Sound familiar at all?
Classy. Super, duper classy.
“No! You’re disgusting! Besides, I don’t like putting little things in my mouth.”
Hahaha! Small penis jokes!
You might like it?
So you do have a dirty mouth 😉