I talked about this exchange a little bit on my weekly dating podcast, “Nothing In Common.” If you aren’t subscribed to that, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE!?
Anyway – sometimes guys will send messages without the intent of pursuit? I don’t get it!
“Love the username”
He was correct in sending that, my OkCupid username is pretty epic. (It indicates that I am going to die alone with cats.)
“Thanks. I do too.”
“Mine should be toointensePeopleThinkHesFaking”
“I don’t get it.”
“I don’t half ass things”
“Ah. Well, that’s a good quality to have!”
“So in a relationship I don’t buy a gas station from the corner and grunt…”
Wait.. huh? I’ve dated some weirdos, but none of them have purchased a gas station before.
“I’d research vase designs and cultivate your favorite flower before arranging it myself and leaving work early to have dinner made etc. Before my partner got home So if average is 2-5 i only have 2 speeds 0 and 100”
“But multiple women (including ex wife) accused me of cheating and covering up for it because i was too nice”
“They didn’t believe I would go through all the trouble i did for our dates and surprises etc…. So now I’ve stopped trying.”
“So yeah tl;dr i don’t half ass relationships”
Okay, pause. Totally true, you just said you’ve stopped trying!!
“Now I just have a submissive under me… It’s a relationship of sorts but one where I can be as elaborate as I want”
“Just not the bring home to the mother type of deal”
“That’s.. A random piece of information you probably should have kept a secret.”
“Maybe? I’m not going to pursue a relationship with you So if I reveal too much what’s the worst that happens? Honesty try it”
“I’m confused. Why are you messaging me, then?”
“I told you first message.”
“You could have left it at my thank you. I’m a big advocate for not wasting people’s time.”
(Not that I wanted to date him anyway. He seems like the type of guy who might be a little too needy?)
“Why is that? You already know the outcome but you’re on here that’s a time waste”
“I’ve met several people from here.”
“But you’re going to die alone with cats… So you’re wasting their time”
“Okay. Well, have a good one.”
“You too. May they find your body before the cats get hungry”
Information word vomit for no apparent reason. Stay classy, internet!