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Bomb-Diggity

17 Jan

“Give you $20 if you call in a bomb threat at my job so I can leave early.​”

Probably not the best first online dating message….  but maybe an idea for a new website?   Hahaha!   No one would ever work again.

OKCupid’s New App: Crazy Blind Date

16 Jan

As I hopped on to OKCupid from my fancy smart phone this morning, I was alerted that OKCupid has launched a brand new app called Crazy Blind Date, and that I should check it out.  — And you KNOW I did.

I definitely feel I need some more time with the app – but these are my opinions and observations thus far:

It’s not really a blind date if it’s a 16 piece puzzle of your main OKCupid picture.  As I was browsing those who have already signed up and put up date locations, I knew who most of them were.  (I couldn’t tell you their usernames, but I know I had seen their face before..)  However,  a nifty feature is that you can elect to take a photo with your camera phone and use that instead, or a photo from your camera gallery.  This makes it a bit more blind than the default OKC pic.

I don’t know if it’s my phone, or the app, or a combination of both – but when I set up to say “I am free this day” and try to search for a place (powered by Foursquare, which seems like a good idea..)  it tells me I have no internet connection.. even though it picks out where I am on the map, and suggests places nearby.  (And no, OKCupid, I refuse to suggest to meet random strangers at a place called The Sex Pit.. but thank you, really.)

Because I am OKCupid’s longest standing member.. (haha!)  I got a message on the regular app from someone I went out with once saying he saw me on the new Blind Date app.   So, to figure out how this works,  I clicked “Set up a date” with him, and he accepted.   Apparently,  I can send him a message through the Blind Date app only an hour before our meet-up time, which indicates to me that this really isn’t going to work for setting up something further out than RIGHT NOW… which also indicates to me that this is really just local broadcasts without getting to learn what the other looks like or has to say about his or herself.

The other options once setting up a date is to cancel said date.  So, I clicked that and immediately messaged my buddy to see if it gives him the “reason” I cancelled.   The options I could choose were “This time doesn’t work for me”, “This is too far away” or “I’m just not interested.”   The verdict?   Unknown –  according to him, our date has not been cancelled.   Hmm…   That could be a problem.  (UPDATE:  It does not disclose your reasoning for cancelling, but does take awhile to inform your date that you are bailing.)

The only other major downfall I am seeing right now is this:  I put out that I was free on Thursday, around a particular area.  I did this as a test, and I am  actually not free at this time.  I cannot find a way to remove this “broadcast.”   Granted, doesn’t actually matter, because I won’t be there.. but, an inconvenience nevertheless.   (CORRECTION:  You can cancel it on the actual OKCupid website.)

I guess the last thing I have to say right now on it is this:   Sometimes, people on the internet are weird.. (see rest of blog..)   Meeting someone off the internet with no background information does seem a little scary.   I would/will because I am fearless –  but, I would suggest if you use this – bring a friend, or a gun..  Better be safe than a statistic.

Let me know your thoughts/stories on it!

Already Gotten Weird

13 Jan

My POF profile has a hidden nugget in there that says something along the lines of “Your message should engage me if you want a response.”    And quite honestly, I haven’t been on that site in months.  (You ALL know how I feel about POF.)   But, my phone alerted me yesterday, while I was out shopping, that I had a message on there.

“Hi. How are you? What’s up? =oP

So, I’m confused by your comment about art. Are you saying you’re an artist, but not the brooding, anti social stereotype peope tend to think of?”

(I also mention being an artist, but not a “dark” one..  More cheery..)  Now, being that I hadn’t been on POF in forever, and was out – I responded a quick “Yes.”  to this guy.   I then went to his profile and saw that he is definitely out of my age range currently.  (12 years older..)  and he probably wouldn’t have been someone I would have messaged back had I read his profile first..  but-  it was done.

“So, you make comments about engaging in conversation, but send a one word reply? Gawd.”

Haha – he did call me out there.

“Lol… Engaging questions require more than a yes or no answer.  I am also out and on my phone and would forget to reply otherwise.. and like you said.. pof is a joke.”

(I referenced his profile in POF being a joke – that is something we have in common.)

“Even a yes or no question can be elaborated on. You could have said something like “Yep. That’s what I mean. What about you? What kind of art do you do? I like to paint” and so on. You can’t expect someone to be able to carry a conversation with you when you only say one thing and wait for someone to prod you for a reply. I’d rather prod you in other ways.”

Once again – I want to point out that I wasn’t on my A game, because I was not at home, and busy doing other things.

“Well I tend to think when it comes to online its not my job to start the conversation or elaborate. And, once again, not being home and using my phone instead makes it a challenge.”

Now – if you’ve read me for awhile, you know what I meant by the above response.   If I seek the person out – I should be the one building the conversation, I should not expect the guy to do the work.   In this instance,  he found me and sent me a message with a “yes or no” question – and expected me to have a huge response.    He has the right idea down, because he told me what I should have said back..  but he should have been the one to ask those particular questions.

“What kind of thinking is that? Well, good luck. This has gotten weird already.”

I didn’t respond because I can’t get myself to care.   Maybe he’ll see the blog.  And he also said he wanted to “prod me in other ways” which… ugh.

So once again, the lesson here is – don’t make the person you are messaging do the work for you..  Had he have sent to me what he told me I should have sent back – this conversation would have been way different.

Messaging “Tone”

12 Jan

In December of 2011, I met a guy online who I went out with a few times.   In my very first online interaction with him, and told him about this blog.   When he asked to see it, I told him I would share on 2.5 conditions.   One of those conditions was that if he ends up on my blog he is not to get pissed off.    Today – he ends up on this blog, and he  is not allowed to be pissy about it.   (Although unlikely.)

So – anyway… this guy’s name is Jon, and Jon got a message today from a girl that said:

“hi 🙂 id love if you read my profile”

For starters – as you all know – CRAPPY first message.   Not that it justifies it by any means, but girls can get away with this easier than guys can.   (Although I would advise you guys not to put up with this.)  Jon looked at her profile and said he wasn’t overly enthused about this girl – but decided to be nice and respond anyway.

He responded:

“Hey [Girl’s Name],

I took a look around your profile, you seem like a great person.  I’m gonna be forward here, the kid is probably a deal breaker but if you’re really awesome, I’d consider meeting you and seeing what happens.

I guess the only thing I don’t see is what you are doing with your life, what do you do for a living, etc?

How old is your son?

Out of curiosity, what did you see that made you want to message me? 

I’ll talk to you later,

Jon”

Let’s be honest here – if her original message was from a guy and sent to me,  I either wouldn’t have responded, or would have been a smart ass and responded something like, “Okay, I read it.”    But – I think Jon was nice to respond, and has learned from the best how to keep a girl engaged.  😉

She responded:

“My profile states what Im doing with my life ?  What are you doing with urs?  Yours has as much of a description as mine does.  “the kid” is a beautiful blessing and your message comes across as rude”

Wait.. what?   Rude?!  I get where she probably flew off the handle because he said that someone with a kid is probably a deal breaker for him, but that doesn’t make the message rude.   Her message comes across as an immature teenager.. you know, one of those that clearly knows how to spell, but spells words wrong for shits and giggles.

Additionally, I would like to add that I visited her profile.  I find interesting that on her six things she can’t live without, she includes “Jesus, water, heat, friends, shelter and HER DOG.”   What about the “blessing”?

Friends –  This is especially why I hate text messaging..  you can’t depict someone’s tone through text.  (Including my blog, here!)  Therefore,  you should give the person the benefit of the doubt…  and DON’T READ INTO IT.  Of course, sometimes I need to take my own advice.. but – seriously..  Was his message rude?

Photo Shop

11 Jan

Most of you won’t find this funny, but I find this downright hilarious:

“Hi sweetheart first let me sat my profile is’t finsh simply because I got bord but if theres any thing u wanna ask me plz ask . Iv seen a lot of BEAUITFUL ladys on this site but ur different why u ask ? Because u look real no photo shop my real name is [name] and I would love to get to know u :)”

This dude must get “bord” easy, since he can’t even finish words correctly.

But – the part that makes me laugh is that I am different because “no photo shop.”   Being that I am a professional photographer by trade,  most of my photos are photo shopped, or at least edited in SOME sort of way.  Of course I don’t make myself thinner or anything – but,  most of my photos look professional.

Ahh, good times.

Poop.

8 Jan

“you look like one of my poops”

I will never know why someone would think sending this to a female on a dating website is a good idea..

What I do know is this:   This guy has the sexiest shit on the planet.

Who’s Close-minded?

7 Jan

I got a message on OKCupid today that was not a form letter.   This has been known to happen from time to time, because believe it or not – I am a catch.

I responded to this guy’s message right away, without visiting his profile, because I know I have said before:  That’s how it should be!!   I’d much rather have a conversation to get to know you, vs. read about you.

After a few messages back and forth,  I clicked on his profile.   In the “You Should Message Me If..” section,  he writes a little something, followed by: “PLEASE DO NOT MESSAGE ME if you don’t believe in [this] and vote [this political party.]”  Now, we were already talking, but according to his profile, I shouldn’t be talking to him because I don’t believe in [fill in the blank], and more often than not vote for [this political party].   (I am NOT about to get political on this blog!)

In my next message, I decided to address this and said,  “I want to let you know you perhaps shouldn’t expect too much to come of this, because I am a ___-winger who doesn’t believe in [this], which you indicated on your profile is a deal-breaker.”  

I got back a “Wow..  Well, I try to keep an open mind.”

I didn’t pick a fight, but really?   Don’t try to make me the close-minded one when I was just addressing something you don’t seem to have a tolerance for.   Just because I have a different opinion than you on anything under the sun doesn’t make me a close-minded person.  It means I have a different opinion than you.   Suck it up.

I’m thinkin’ this guy is probably not the future Mr. Soon2BeCatLady…  but maybe that’s just me being close-minded.   =)

Profound

5 Jan

Nothing like kicking off your weekend on the right start by such a profound message as this:

“hey sexy…
you look like sexy…maybe big boobs”

I am trying to determine if this guy is drunk, doesn’t know English, or is just a plain moron who needs to try 3rd grade again..

But – too much time has already been wasted on this man of OKCupid.

Maturity Goes a Long Way

31 Dec

Today’s blog post brought to you be the reported messages of OKCupid.  The “award winning man of the day” is a 24 year old from Ohio.. unfortunately we are unable to know anything about the lady who reported him.

“Hey – Hope your Christmas went well! I came across your profile and thought you’re pretty interested as well as good looking. I was curious if you’d be interested in talking more and just get to know each other? Possibly grab dinner or lunch sometime. I know ago may be a factor, but maturity goes a long way. 
Adam 
***-***-****”

As you all know, I personally would not have responded, because it’s a form letter.  But – aside from a few errors,  it wasn’t the worst message in the world.  The lady responded:

“Ugh…I don’t think so”

..Which was kind of rude, if you ask me.  Again,  if that’s my opinion on the matter, I don’t respond..  However, she could be 50 for all we know..  So – it is what it is..

But then, to prove that maturity goes a long way,  our hero of the day replies:

“Can I just do ya one time then… :)”

Oh yes…  real mature.

**

Everyone please be safe tonight!!  I expect SEVERAL virtual kisses at midnight.  However, I do have a question, as a few of my Twitter friends were going back and forth with me today:   Going up to a seemingly single guy at midnight and planting one on him..  Good idea?   Bad idea?    — Let me know in the comments..  I will let you know what I decided for myself tomorrow!

Google Search

30 Dec

As 2012 comes to a close and I prepare for another year of not being kissed at midnight on New Years Eve..  (story of my life..)  I have been diggin’ around the good ol’ WordPress to summarize Soon2BeCatLady 2012.

I came across a way to see EVERY google search term that led to my blog… and some of these are just too great not to share.   Any posted below were used as a search term more than once.

Of course-  top of list was “Soon 2 Be Cat Lady”  or.. some type of variation of that.  That makes sense.

The second most searched term to find my blog was “Beautiful Ass”  – or a misspelled version of the same.   One can only assume that they found this blog entry.

The rest are just my favorites..  If it’s a link,  I have included what I either think, or know the person found…  others – I have no clue.  Enjoy!

underwear shopping

I want to see your pussy

handjobsonline.com

kurt russell lookalike

amazing handjobs

complimenting girls

the next step is to make her realize those cookies would have tasted better if she was wearing a skirt

how to look at girls   (…How to LOOK at girls.. Seriously?!)

dowse you in green paint and spank you like a disobedient avocado

whats a really long stupid message I can send   (That is NOT what my blog is for.. Stay away, YOU!)

does anyone get messages on Okcupid?    (Awww…)

i have stubborn belly fat

crazy broad on pof   (Yeah.. that’s definitely me.)

sexs swagga dating.com

lady sex in cat   (Uhh.. what?)

poems about online dating    (I’m clever.. but I’m not THAT clever.)

why don’t all guys message me back on ok cupid  (Because you’re not God’s gift to men..)

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