Tag Archives: relationships

I Need YOUR Help!

11 Oct

Exciting news from the Cat Cave —  I am going to be joining the Twin Cities News Talk Podcast Network with a (new) podcast about dating!   (Don’t worry CatLady Podcast Cult Following – I am not leaving the Wednesday night show! .. Hashtag P word.)  I will be joined in the new podcast by my radio friends @BenjaminKruse and @AndrewLeeTCNT.

Links and Tweets to follow –  BUT!!  I need your help first!!  (Yes.. YOU.. Reading this.  No, not “someone else will do it.”  YOU.)

Just send $5.00 to —  just kidding!

Part of the goal of this podcast is to get good advice out there, and we need questions to come in that we can give advice to!  (We could make them up, but why be fake?)  And our advice is golden:   CHECK IT OUT!

Could you send me all your burning (and non-burning) questions on dating?  Pretty please with a cherry on top?    Or if you have some stellar ideas on what you’d like to hear, send them my way as well!

Here.. I’ll make it easy for you:

Go back

Your message has been sent

 

Aww, I have the best readers in the world, that are so nice to share this blog post with everyone they know!  😉

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Feminazi.

8 Sep

It just never ends, does it?

Today’s interaction is with a 22 year old male, who apparently doesn’t have a head.  Just a torso.  It appears as though he has probably been working out for about a month or so.. slightly defined, but nothing he should be bragging about.

“Into younger guys?”

“I’m not sure what you mean by that question.”

“I mean do you want a sexy athletic 22 year old to fuck your brains out or not?”

“Why would I want that from someone I don’t know?”

“because I’m insanely attractive  and it would feel so good.”

“I’ve not fucked many ‘insanely attractive’ guys that I DO know.  Your logic stands to no reason.”

“Before you insult my logic reread your sentence and try to type coherent.  Your logic is nonexistent”

I had a few moments of self doubt after reading that message..  But, I think my sentence made sense.

“Let me retype it for you, then:

I have (I’ve) not fucked many of the ‘insanely attractive’ (I am quoting your description of yourself here..) guys (males, men, boys) that I do know.  (As in guys that I know in real life.  I DO know them, versus you who I do not.)

So, if I won’t fuck them, and they are ‘insanely attractive’ (which can also be proven as I have seen their face..) Why do you think I would fuck *you* for that reason?

Does my sentence make better sense to you now?  🙂  (<– this indicates this was not said bitchily.  It is a smiley face.)”

“I do not think you would.  whoever said i thought you would fuck me? putting words into my head now?  I hate to be a misogynistic asshole guy but sometimes my physiology gets the best of me.  Yeah I think you’re attractive and I would totally love to fuck you to be straightforward.”

“How have I put words in your head?  You asked if I was into younger guys and when I questioned that, you clarified by saying ‘I mean do you want a sexy athletic 22 year old to fuck your brains out or not?’   … Were you asking for a friend or something?”

“I never once implied the slightest that I thought you would fuck me.”

“I can’t imagine your logic was ‘There is no way she’ll ever have sex with me.. I better ask her to be sure.’ “

“I’m not sober.  Idk what I was thinking and I don’t like arguing so i’m done”

“Okay.  Have a nice life.”

“Feminazi.  Fuck off.”

 

Umm…… ???

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Online Dating A.D.D.

26 Aug

The following messages come from a gentleman who, according to his profile, is an intellectual:

“Love your profile”

“Thanks.”

“Want to get coffee some timr”

“Based merely on that you love my profile?”

“Ya.  I think he is thinking because you look kind of sassy”

“Oh.  Is that what he thinks?”

“Ya. I think you need one;)”

“Need one what?”

“A spanking”

“Wow. That’s rude.”

“I’m sorry. Giovanno”

 

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Ask Me Anything

18 Aug

I had the following interaction with a 25 year old from California.  If you have been paying attention, you are aware that California is pretty far away from me.

“Hi there how are you this evening

My name is [Name]

Would you like to talk and get to know each other

Ask me anything you would like to know about me

You look absolutely gorgeous BTW :)”

 

“Okay.  Question 1.  How many chicken nuggets can you fit in your mouth at one time?”


“Five. You?”   

(Wow.. that’s not impressive at all…)

 

“I have never attempted this.

Question 2.  What are your thoughts on the death of Elvis Presley? (Minimum 50 words)”

 

He neglected to respond to that one.. So much for ask me anything.

So – what have we learned?    That it’s totally acceptable to ask one how many chicken nuggets they can fit in their mouth.. but it’s still too soon to bring up the loss of the King of Rock and Roll.

 

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Super Thug

10 Mar

I don’t condone first messages like this, but this has me in stitches..

“My goodness You really are an exquisite beauty and the thing about it is you don’t seem conceited about it. But don’t think i don’t know your secret.  Yeah I saw you on top model. The secret cycle that never aired because you slapped Tyra with a sack of hot nickels in her fivehead.  Sooo. What do you need from me super thug?”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

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“Don’t Take Life Soo Serious.”

8 Mar

If you’ve ever read me before – you understand that I certainly take this whole online dating thing with a grain of salt, and I do actually have a sense of humor about the whole thing.   He didn’t read me that way..  so, in an effort to “Not take life soo serious,”   I am posting this interaction, so we can all have a good laugh.   (I’m sure he’ll understand..)

“I have a crazy big cock …pets hook up”

“Pets not.”

“Lol I mean I have a big cicken and I need him to hook up”

“I don’t know what a cicken is.. But again, I’ll pass.”

“Chicken**”

“Rooster aka a cock  ….what do you live in a cave?”

“I prefer a cave to the barn you’re living in.”     (Part of me did want to tell him that I live in the Bat Cave… but.. he wasn’t cool enough to know that.)

“Jees calm down pussy cat I’m just Fucking around”

“Were you raised to talk to complete strangers like that?”   (Honestly, this wasn’t me being upset.. this was a legit question.  I’m sure has a mother.)

“Omg you clearly have no sense of humor …Dude don’t take life soo serious …life’s too short”

“Life’s too short, so I should enjoy your big cock?”  (Just curious..)

“Lol no I was just playing around..”

I’d be interested to hear if he gets any positive responses from his clearly hilarious opening line.  As always, I’d suggest knowing a little bit more about your audience before pulling out humor such as this.

 

 

 

 

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Gotta Love Tinder

28 Feb

After swiping left on the guy who was probably the love of my life,  I got to have this fun Tinder conversation instead:

“So what are you looking for on here?”

“I set no expectations, and plan to be surprised.”

“So a friend with benefits could potentially be alright?  Just being forward.  That’s what I’m looking for.”

“Sorry.. that won’t be happening.”

“Not even if we were the last two left on earth?”

“I like to keep it classy and don’t do casual sexual relationships.. So, in that case – Correct, even if we were the last two people on Earth.”

“What if I have the best oral skills west of the Mississippi?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“You’re missing out.”

“Are you sure?  If we were the last two people alive, you’d also have the *worst* oral skills west of the Mississippi..”

“I have to disagree.  I would be setting the bar.  There just wouldn’t be anyone that could raise it.”

“Yet, it’d still be the lowest bar.”

“And the highest.  So at that point I would just be average, not the best.”

“Okay, good.  So I’m not missing out then.”

“Yea, you definitely got me there.  Good work”

See – all you have to do is outsmart ’em.   And hope that the love of your life that you accidentally rejected finds another way to meet you.

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Waistline

22 Feb

I am probably going to get some hate for this one.. but hear me out:   I have been on OKCupid for almost 3 years now.  A few days ago, out of sheer curiosity (and social experimentation for the blog, of course)  I added “Casual Sex” to my “Looking For’ list.   Creeps (and non creeps) are coming out of the woodwork.  My internet leg has been constantly humped over the last 36 hours.  And, definitely more to come on this!

“Hi! I am [Name], i am a fun outgoing smart ass ha. I loved your profile. Not only are you pretty,but you seem genuine, and that’s hard to find on a dating site. I am sure you get a ton of messages a day. So if you could just message me when you have some free time that would be cool.
I hope the site hadn’t discouraged you too much. Anyways I would love to get to know you. How was your day?”

Now..  if you’ve read me before – I make it a point not to respond to messages that could have been copied and pasted.  I also mention this in my profile.   So, that, along with this guy says he is a smart ass.. I felt like I could be a smart ass back..  If he was worth knowing, he’d probably laugh about it:

“Thank you for your form letter. Please know that the time you took to copy and paste is very much appreciated. Hope you are having a great day!”

“Copy and paste? Are you serious? Wow have some issues with the site to accuse me? That was me. But I take it back. You obviously aren’t genuine”

I obviously pushed a button, because not even 30 seconds after receiving his defensive response:

“Wow why did I even message you. Look at me. Then look at u. Lol. Yeah that’s not a good match”

“And now I know how you handle some push back.
I think you should reconsider considering yourself a smart ass.. I clearly have you beat in that arena. Best of luck to you.”

“You clearly have me beat in the waist line too”

“Is that supposed to hurt my feelings or something?”

“Hey if you are proud. Just go with it”

“I am just curious at what you are trying to accomplish by telling me I’m fat?”

“Ha conversation over. I won. Bye”

“I guess that’s a matter of opinion. Have a nice day.”

“You got all hot and bothered ha”

“Not at all..  If that’s how you “win” conversations… There was no contest from the start.”

I honestly don’t know how one would “win” a conversation.

“Damn you are still talking? U got served”

“Oh.. Good.  My expanding waistline could use a serving.”

..And he didn’t respond after that one.. So.. I guess I won?

If you can’t take online dating with a grain of salt, and have to resort to name-calling and/or “bullying”..  You should reconsider online dating as a source of meeting people.

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Rock Hudson

1 Feb

I came across a profile today that made me laugh a little louder than most profiles do:

I spend a lot of time thinking about:

Why do people have to be so dam judgemental about everthig just cause i dont look like rock hudson dont mean i wouldnt be an awesome guy all you ladies that think that way can scuk it

I can feel it deep in my soul that this man is definitely not bitter.    But I do have a question… When was the last time Rock Hudson was relevant?  The only reason why I even know the name is because I love me some “Grease” and one of the songs references him.  (“Even Rock Hudson lost his heart to Doris Day-ay-ay.”)

If you aren’t sold on this guy yet – let me be the first to tell you that he is really good at crocheting hats and scarves.

Oh!  And “You should message me if:”

You like a kind caring loving man who likes sex to much and will treat you with the utmost respect and write poems about you

Maybe I should see what kind of poem he comes up with about me..  or maybe I’ll just “scuk it.”

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Groupons and Dating

20 Jan

Honestly, I hope a heated debate occurs in the comments on this question that I have.   (I have a feeling that at least some girls will have an issue with my stance on this..)

I have been asked over and over –   “Is it okay to use a Groupon on a first date?”   The topic has been brought up on my podcast a few times, and we can never come up with an answer that satisfies both @A_Dude79 and myself.   So –  I bring this question to you, loyal fans.  — And let’s make it “When is it okay to use a Groupon when you’re dating?”

As previously mentioned,   @A_Dude79 and I are split on the matter.   He says absolutely no way on a Groupon until a couple has slept together.    I’m a bit more lenient on the matter.

@A_Dude79 thinks that the first date is about making an impression, and paying for the date in full, without a coupon/groupon, shows that he is able to provide for the woman.   He argues that most Groupons you need to have printed out, or pull up on your phone – and that’s tacky.  (However,  he thinks if you can use a Groupon without having to present it, it’s fair game..  *Eyeroll.*  ..Men..)

I think a Groupon is just fine.  I would much rather be offered a fun activity that was purchased through Groupon than a boring coffee or dinner date any day of the week.  They often have really fun activities to try out at a discount.   We are also in a time of economic hardship –   I feel there is nothing wrong with saving some money.     And – if a girl is not okay with you saving a few dollars – do you want to be dating her anyway?   (I’ll throw in there that in a Soon2BeCatLady perfect world,  I would know about the Groupon before the date.)

So, interwebs  – Let’s vote, and (respectfully) duke it out in the comments.   I’m closing the poll after one week, so make sure to voice your opinion!

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