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CatLady’s Blind Date Rules

11 Oct

A friend of mine told me that I suck at online dating, and decided to take matters into her own hands.  While I would argue that online dating is the thing that sucks, she wasn’t exactly wrong.  I wasn’t getting anywhere, regardless of where the fault lies.  So, she is setting me up on a blind date.  (You can hear all about it here.)

She’s quite lucky that I find her trustworthy, as she provided next to no details regarding this mystery suitor before setting up the date.  Since this probably wouldn’t fly with many others, I decided it best to list out some ground rules if you want to set up a friend on a blind date.

  1.  Have a describable reason why you think the pair would make a good match, and tell them what that is.  (Or if the reason is just that both parties are single, at least disclose that so there isn’t as much undue pressure.)
  2. Be forthcoming with information.  Committing to a dinner with a complete stranger is intimidating.  Give both parties some basic information about the other (i.e. job, interests, etc.) so that they have somewhere to start in a conversation.
  3. Give them an easy way to identify one another.  In this instance, my friend suggested that I wear a croissant.  (She meant corsage, but said croissant.)  I plan on doing just that and let my blind date know via text.  He said he would wear an English muffin. (This may actually work out.)
  4. If either party seems uncomfortable with the blind date scenario, offer to double date!  Let them set you up, or bring a date of your own.  Dating can be a little more comfortable in groups, especially if both parties know someone else in attendance.
  5. Don’t show up at the restaurant to spy on the date.  (I have a gut feeling this may happen.)
  6. Let the date attendees reach out to you when they are ready to tell you how it went.  Basically:  Set it up, and then forget about it until your friends reach out.
  7. You’re not allowed to be offended, or push for a second date, if either party decides they are not interested (before OR after the date.)  People who have been attached for a long time forget the bad memories of their dating life, and tend to only remember the fun of it.

 

Have you been on a blind date before?  How did it go?  What rules should I add to my list?  I’d love to hear your stories and ideas in the comments!

 

 

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#DateMe: An OKCupid Experiment

14 May
IMG_2940

Yes, that’s me. I just don’t see where I’m going wrong in my quest for a man. 😉

 

What happens when a woman creates an obviously fake OKCupid profile, declaring her love for cats and only cats?

Continue reading →

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Rejection Letter

31 Mar

If you listen to any of my podcasts, you would be aware that I’ve been on a number of dates recently, and all but one was pretty terrible.  (And the good one ghosted me, for the record.)  However, one date in particular was worse than the rest in ways you could only listen about to understand, as I’m not going to re-live it again.  Check out the podcast(s).

This terrible date, after said date, texted me to ask how I thought the date went, because at very least he could use advice.  I was told that I needed to give an honest evaluation since it was asked for, so I typed up one of the most difficult things for me to write.   A friend read it and suggested I post it, as it really holds some good advice that many could use a refresher on.  So, here it is:

Continue reading →

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I Need YOUR Help!

11 Oct

Exciting news from the Cat Cave —  I am going to be joining the Twin Cities News Talk Podcast Network with a (new) podcast about dating!   (Don’t worry CatLady Podcast Cult Following – I am not leaving the Wednesday night show! .. Hashtag P word.)  I will be joined in the new podcast by my radio friends @BenjaminKruse and @AndrewLeeTCNT.

Links and Tweets to follow –  BUT!!  I need your help first!!  (Yes.. YOU.. Reading this.  No, not “someone else will do it.”  YOU.)

Just send $5.00 to —  just kidding!

Part of the goal of this podcast is to get good advice out there, and we need questions to come in that we can give advice to!  (We could make them up, but why be fake?)  And our advice is golden:   CHECK IT OUT!

Could you send me all your burning (and non-burning) questions on dating?  Pretty please with a cherry on top?    Or if you have some stellar ideas on what you’d like to hear, send them my way as well!

Here.. I’ll make it easy for you:

 

Aww, I have the best readers in the world, that are so nice to share this blog post with everyone they know!  😉

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Be Aggressive in Dating!!

13 Jan

If you aren’t tuning into my weekly podcast,  you are missing out.   Last week we discussed being aggressive in dating, and I wanted to re-cap as well as add a thought or two.

My sexy beast of a co-host, @A_Dude79, brought up that he read an article that suggests to males that instead of beating around the bush and asking a girl if she’d like to get coffee,  BE AGGRESSIVE and tell the girl you’d like to take her out on a date.   If she says yes, then there is no question whatsoever that it’s a date.   If she says no, then you’ve saved yourself some money.  At the very least everyone is on the same page.

I agree with this entirely.  Being aggressive shows that you know what you want, and you aren’t afraid to take a risk to get it.  It’s just manly to tell a girl you’d like to take her out on a date.   And –  most girls want to date a man.  — I know I do.

We discussed on the podcast that “Let’s get coffee sometime”  can be taken a number of different ways.   Now –  let me tell you this:   Most girls know that this means a date.  We just play stupid.  If we’re not interested in dating you, we’re likely to go to coffee anyway and make it a friend-date. (And I know how much you guys hate the friend-zone..)   You are more likely to get a straight answer on if a girl is interested in you if you are aggressive.

I digitally bumped into an old acquaintance of mine,  and sent a “hello” message over because I had already clicked his page.   (Because I remember everything and everyone, I assume everyone else does as well.)  We’ve chatted back and forth, but I have absolutely no interest in dating him.  He thinks it’d be fun to get coffee and catch up.

Will I go?  Sure.

Do I think it’s a date?  No.

Does he think it’s a date?   Probably.

Would I have said yes had he asked me out on a date?   No.  (Fun fact:  I am 99% sure that he doesn’t even remember my first name.)

So why would I go to coffee then?   Because coffee is casual and I like people.  Also, because I can’t guarantee he thinks it’s a date, maybe he does just want to catch up.   And, who knows –  even though I doubt it, there could be chemistry?

Guys- just be more forward with your intentions, and consider rejection as money and time saved.   Try it out and comment or tweet to me with how it went.   I have a feeling we will all be pleasantly surprised.

 

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An Online Dating Christmas Tale

26 Dec

Cat Lady and Crazy:

like Tequila and lime

(and I warn in advance that

this will be in rhyme)

 

Hope your Christmas was jolly

Now go grab a beer

As you read with delight

a tale of great “cheer.”

 

So….

 

Twas the evening of Christmas

as I sat all alone

No one to snuggle

No sweetheart to phone

 

No boyfriend from Santa

which was this year’s wish

Not even a message

on Plenty of Fish.

 

So I sat on the couch

to watch some T.V.

And wished for that boy

who was meant just for me.

 

“Oh well, that’s okay,

for I’m doing just fine.”

I said to myself

as I sipped on my wine.

 

But Hark!  What is this?

A message on ‘Cupid!

I thought to myself,

“Tis bound to be stupid!”

 

I wondered “Why me?”

Said “Your eyes played a factor.”

I thanked him.  He offered

“Want to ride on my tractor?”

 

I am fine alone

To me it doesn’t matter

Another year gone..

At least I’m not fatter!

 

Oh boy!  A new message!

How high I must rank!

But alas, he compared me

to a fruit he would spank.

 

I checked out my Quiver

One seemed quite the catch

But my name to his markings

was nary a match.

 

Oh boyfriend, come quick

For my loins be an itchin’

Okay – I’m just kidding

but ain’t these rhymes bitchin’?

 

Then Tinder did ping

as I swiped right my thumb

Twas a gentleman caller

looking for a three-some.

 

And then came a message

with atrocious grammar

I knew right away:

A Nigerian scammer.

 

Online dating is sketchy

and a pain in my ass!

But here’s to 2014

Let us all raise a glass!

 

So friends of my blog

Come back for the fun

And I wish you good luck

in your quest for “The One!”

 

(If you need some more rhymes

cuz face it – they’re bomb.

Check out my inspiration

at nerdtinkerer.com!)

VIP: Very Important Poll

10 Oct

Tonight,  @A_Dude79 gave some tips on “How to Win Guys Over” (in response to my “How to Win Girls Over”) on our podcast.   He had some excellent reminders for us girls, and I’d strongly suggest you take a listen. (The Podcast)

However,  one of his suggestions seemed a little off to me.   Keeping in mind that these tips are for people who have been on a few dates, he said “Be yourself.”   I countered that most people are on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship.   He believes that people are only on their best behavior for the first few dates.  I believe that people are on their best behavior for much longer, maybe even so much as 6 months to a year.

We need you to help settle the score-  and A_Dude79 will share the results with he podsturbates next week Wednesday at 10:00pm Eastern Standard Time.

My Review of EHarmony

28 Aug

A few months back, I got an e-mail offer from EHarmony that was impossible to refuse.   Their service is normally anywhere from $12.95 to $60.00 per month (roughly) depending on how long you sign up for.   ($13 per month if you sign up for a year, $60 for one month)   They ran a special a few months ago that I was able to sign up for $6.95 per month, for 3 months.  I decided I couldn’t afford not to try EHarmony… but now that my 3 month stint is over, all I can do is hope that EHarm thinks all publicity is good publicity.

First and foremost, (and EH isn’t the only online dating company to do this..) anything over $15 per month is too expensive to be paying a computer to match you.   While I find their 12 month subscription price to be reasonable,  the fact that they want you to sign up for an entire year makes me feel like maybe they aren’t confident they are going to find you the love of your life.

On that note – given that some people actually PAY them $60..  profiles like this should not be something ever found on their website:

eharmSeriously..  if I ran that website, anyone who put specific key words in their profile would be immediately flagged for staff review.   (EH did remove the user upon seeing my picture tweet, and asking me to send them an e-mail with more info.)

I, personally, did not have any luck whatsoever on EHarmony.  I sent out their questions to users I was interested in, and responded back to some.. but nothing ever went further than the guided communication.   I don’t blame EH for that – but after a month, I was informed that my distance preference (a radius of 30 miles.. according to the most recent census, there are 3.28 million people within 30 miles of yours truly.)  was too specific and they encouraged me to change this to a 100 mile radius.    Now..  I know people will take drastic measures for love..  but, really.. even 30 miles away for a stranger from the internet is pushin’ it.

So, I started getting matched with people far out of city limits, which was really a waste of time.  But then, after another couple days,  I was alerted that my age range of 27 to 34 was too specific, and I should broaden those requirements as well.  Are you joking?

I have decided that I got a sweet deal because no one uses EHarmony anymore.  I still think that OKCupid is your best deal out there –  it’s free, and you might get some kooky people in there (see rest of blog), but it’s easy to use, and it’s fun.

So, long story short.. In my opinion:  Eharmony sucks.

**

Totally unrelated to EHarmony:   Tomorrow night (Wednesday, August 28, 2013) at 10:00pm Central Standard Time,  A_Dude79 and I will be podcasting live.   We have Catfish/Nigerian Scammers,  “The First Move”  and the burning question of “Is Facebook ‘Friendship’ the new Phone Number when it comes to dating?”  on the agenda.   If you haven’t tuned in before,  tomorrow would be a great night to do so.  We take calls and feedback from Twitter as well.   Put it on your calendar and don’t miss it!   Link HERE.

When IRL meets OKC

21 Oct

Hi there-Velvet here!

So…I tried a fun little experiment the other day (not THAT kind! Get your mind out of the gutter) and I thought we could all learn a little something from it. I know that I certainly did!!

It all started with meeting a guy at an actual real life event, through real life friends. (I KNOW-weird, right???) Heck, not only did I meet him IRL, he has NEVER been on a dating website. Anyway, we’ve gone out a couple times, and yes, I told him that I do the whole online dating thing. Yes, he is in on the whole nose-licking story/nightmare.  He did giggle at me a bit, and I did give him a dirty look, and then the conversation took a different course. The next time we were hanging out, however, he was bugging me to find out what my online profile is like. So, I figured what the hell?

Here’s the deal: he said that he NEVER would have dated me if he had only read my profile!!! Whaaaat? I am freaking adorable on there. Witty, charming, honest…what do you mean you wouldn’t date me???

I put on my big girl panties and asked him why. Well, the first thing that he pointed out was that he is 5 years older than my maximum age limit. Ok, smartass, other than THAT – why not?? After he told me to relax, he pointed out that he likes the fact that I am a bit of a, well, “big personality”, and he found that my profile downplayed that a lot.

So what the hell do I do about that?? Am I supposed to put on my profile that I strive to be the center of attention?  That I’ve been known to jump into lakes in various stages of undress to raise money for cancer research?  That the idea of going bowling in a tutu doesn’t even cause me to hesitate for a moment?

His answer? Well, yeah – it should!

Which I guess leads me to my closing thought, that I don’t really have an answer for. Ya’ll should discuss and let me know what YOU think. (CatLady doesn’t really know either…) Do I risk the wackos coming out in droves by putting some of your quirky weirdness in your profile? Or is that why I haven’t met my One True Love online–am I just too much of a freak to stuff into a few paragraphs on OKC?

And yes, I’ll keep you posted about the guy. We’ll call him Moonshine.

 

A Picture is Worth 84 Words.

30 Aug

“Just looking at your another pic I can say what my heart says U are down to earth girl with high moral values ..stable ..sensible..mature .understanding ..helping ..serious about caring relationships..simple living high goals..bit emotional but practical ..sensual..exotic..u r beautiful by heart and most beautiful are your eyes and lips..A charming personality ..full of joy and emotions..dreams are big..yet very wise in taking all steps for decisions ..a helping person ..wish to smile like anything..wanna live the moments and enjoy ye life in moments..”

Wow – he assumes my entire personality from a photo?   If he met me in real life, he would be in for some big surprises.  (As probably most of you would..)

Which is an excellent segway into:   Karl Mamer interviewed me for is OkCupCast Podcast, which is advice for Nerds who are online dating…  So,  if you wish to ruin the mystery of the Soon2BeCatLady,  take a listen.   (And let me know what you think!)

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