Soon2BeCatLady

If any of you would like to see how much this guy resembles Kurt Russell  – apparently he will snail mail you some pics…

Here is a fantastic profile I have come across:

I’m a Kurt Russell look-a-like!   (Prove it, my friend..)

Once you go “TALL” you’ll never go (small)…lol.     

I can back it all up “BIG TIME” being 6’4”& 230# of SMOKEN HOT SUPER SEXY pleasure! I’ve also got an extremely FUN personality and love to LAUGH…LOL…(even at myself).    (And we’re humble..)

I’m an Actor/Singer and have been in about 25 movies over the years including: “Backdraft”,”Prelude To a Kiss”,”Babys Day Out”,”Richie Rich”,”Ground Hog Day” both “Grumpy” movies and many many more. I feel VERY HUMBLED to be in show biz and look like I do! A lot of the directors and producers I have had the pleasure of working for in the biz tell me that I look like a Tall & Slender LOOK-a-LIKE to a young Kurt Russell.    (Has anyone seen any of these movies and have spotted a “young Kurt Russell” look alike?)

I’m sorry that I don’t have a pic online but being an actor I try to keep a little bit of a low key. THANKS for your kind understanding. Again…I apologise for not having a pic online anymore as I’ve had some problems in the past with other men using my pics to send to woman. So I pulled them all off…however I’d be glad to mail some of my pics out for you…like I’ve done with my agents…(snal mail)…if you’d like. So please feel free to leave a po box…(not a home address)…and I’ll be glad to get them out for you…asap.   (God – I HATE it when people steal my photos and try to pass them off as them..   Oh.. WAIT!!  Is that why no one ever looks like their online dating profile photos!?!?!)

I was very lucky to have got that Kurt Russell face the height and being on the slender side too…so if we ever had the pleasure of meeting I would pay for you GAS a FULL TANK!…if your not TOTALLY BLOWEN AWAY at my looks! Thats how confident I am about the way I look!    (“I would pay for you GAS a FULL TANK!” ..  and can someone be “blowen”?)

I have moved on now in show biz and currently have my screenplay out in CA. I hope to have one of the majors option it. I like to go to Dinner, Movies or ?. I enjoy treating a woman RIGHT by opening doors, pulling out her chair or helping her with her coat on….just to name a few. I have a FUN and PLAYFUL side too! I’d LOVE to pamper & spoil you with my FANTASTIC toy bag for all your PLEASURES and DEEPEST desires! Let me be your teacher and take you to heights of PLEASURES you’ve only DREAMED about!   (Maybe the other movies he was in were porn?)

Experience the “BEST” and the (rest) flunk the test…lol.    (I wonder (what) he means?)

I love to hug and hold and am a GREAT kisser too. I’m SUPER OPEN MINDED…as you can tell already. I think you can LEARN a lot from all different age groups too. I really enjoy LEARNING everthing everyone else is doing as you can’t ever learn enough about people. Also what they enjoy doing for fun and enjoyment…so to me thats part of being “OPEN MINDED” and I never want to “grow up”…lol. Maybe that will keep me YOUNG forever and live a LONG & VERY HAPPY life. God willing! 

Don’t stop READING now the BEST is yet to come!   (One would hope.. but, sadly he is mistaken..)

The “Past is History”…the…”Futures a Mystery” so “LIVE in the PRESENT” cause its a real GIFT!    (Hmm.. did you come up with that one yourself?)

Also…any size or height is fine as I think all people are great and…(any age)…as (age) is just a “STATE OF MIND” but you MUST have a NICE personality and a GOOD sence of humor. 

Now on the “SERIOUS SIDE” for a minute. Please don’t ask me why I’m on a site as everyone is on sites these days….right. Plus please don’t ask me why I said so much in my profile…as I just had to put more into it since I don’t have any pics online anymore…thanks. 

Prepare yourself for something different…as I’m undefinable. Are you that high paced professional…looking to submit after a hard days work or a woman who just wants to let someone take control? I have been in the lifestyle all my life…therefore it is very easy for me to relate to all different levels of it. I’ve been in this craft of the lifestyle through my love of the art and expression. I have a professional backround in the arts and my great appreciation for how we experience things…through our sences. The way it can transport us…is applied in my philosophy. I’m a very creative man in all that I do in life and love spontaneity…plus exploration too. You can gaze into my wonderful green eyes and breathing in the sensual colonge (Halston 1-12)..that I where. You’ll have the indulgence of me and using my UNREAL TOY COLLECTION…including a “BRAND NEW” F-ing Machine that I purchased from CA. I now have about 8k worth of FANTASTIC TOYS for all your wonderful DESIRES! I see the lifestyle as a more definitived power of exchange…allowing another person to control your UNBELIEVEABLE experiences and take you to places you’ve never been before…plus experiencing all your sences and allowing yourself to trust that person…to accept their decisions ~ it is so…so intimante. I think that is one of my favorite aspects about lifestyle and the way it helps someone to let go of all the stress and drama in there life! 

Thank you for reading my profile. I’m SURE you’ve NEVER read one like this before!

Where do I sign up?

“Will you be my princess?
Any plans for Valentines day?”

While I totally understand the Valentine’s Day question-   I don’t know what to think of the princess question.  It scares me, in fact, even though I do consider myself princess-like.

“What does being your princess entail?”

“Someone close to my thought feelings”

Well –  that certainly explains it.   While I am sure he doesn’t actually mean “thought feelings”  I have pondered what if there were such a thing as thought feelings.    Would that mean the feelings that your thoughts have?  Or feelings that you think?

I will probably never know – because, I don’t want to be his princess.

This may come as a shock to most of you, but… I am NOT a mind-reader.   I also have never claimed to be a mind-reader, especially in online dating.   Why, oh why, do I keep getting messages that say “I think we have a lot of similar interests!” when they either list interests that are the exact opposite of mine, or don’t have their interests listed at all?   This drives me nuts!   How on earth am I supposed to know what interests you refer to?

Also, if you want to guarantee that I won’t respond to you-  call me “Babe” or “Sweetheart” or something of that nature.   Sure, I can be those things, and often am.. but I assure you I can also be the exact opposite of those things.  You shouldn’t be calling me that if you don’t know me.

Married men do not belong on online dating sites.  Get divorced, then hop on board..   If I am being totally unreasonable (however I don’t believe I am..)  then only solicit girls who specifically say they would be willing to date/sleep with/talk with a married man.     I don’t understand why people are above their vows.

Obviously spelling and grammar are big pet peeves of mine – but you don’t have to read far back to know that.

My last pet peeve of the day is having to tell someone “NO” over and over.  No, I won’t be calling you.  No, you can’t have my phone number.   No, we can’t hang out sometime.  No, I don’t want to talk.   TAKE A FREAKING HINT!

Alright.. your pet peeves… Go!!

How did February sneak up on us so fast?!

Today I would like to write/talk/vent about Valentine’s Day, or “Singles Awareness Day” as I often hear it coined.

I have never been a person who really cares about Valentine’s Day.  I think that flowers and dinner going up an astronomical amount for one day is ridiculous.  I would much rather spend the evening having a picnic in my living room.

While the concept of celebrating your love with someone is something I believe in,  I don’t need the fancy dinner or the flowers.  Save those for another time when it’s not expected, and it will be far more meaningful.   Quite honestly,  if someone made me a card with printer paper and markers,  I would be delighted.

This Valentine’s Day approaching will make it one year (and one day..) for me being single.  (It doesn’t bug me that this is when it happened, but I certainly play it up when I tell the story..)   I am interested to see how the day will actually go, and if my feelings for Singles Awareness Day will turn into a strong resentment.   I don’t think that will be the case,  but you never know.

I am sure there will be some interesting online dating stories as this “holiday” approaches.    If you have any good ones,  please send them my way.  🙂

Hooray for instant message!

“Hi”

“Hello”

“How’s it going?”

“How is what going?”

“nm just relaxing at home, how’s your day going?”

“Hmmm….”

“i’m sending you a few pics”

“hope you like them”

“Please don’t.”

“um ok lol”

“too late”

“i guess u don’t wanna talk”

“Okay.”

::User has left the chat::

This guy assumed way too many things.   The first, of course, that I asked him how it was going with him.   If that had been a verbal conversation, he would have definitely gotten a raised eyebrow.

Then, he assumed that I wanted him to send me pictures… which were of his junk..  No –  that assumption was wrong.

He lastly assumed that I didn’t want to talk.   This was probably a fair assumption- however, I would have continued talking.   He made the decision for me that I didn’t want to talk.

Guys and girls alike –  why do you do this?   You shouldn’t decide for someone if they want to talk to you or not.  What if they do, and you ruined that chance?  What if that guy was supposed to be the dude who changes my destiny, and I don’t end up a crazy cat lady?  (Okay.. we all know that’s not the case.. but hypothetically..)

I had this happen once for real, and it bugs me.   His profile intrigued me, and he was HOT.   I laughed because his photo was a serious one, but he put that he doesn’t want you to message him if you don’t have a picture of yourself smiling.  (I do have a smiling photo, as well as serious-faced ones.)   I sent him that he at least has to understand that the serious photo makes one look mysterious and intriguing, as his main photo was serious.   He wrote back asking if I was interested in talking, or just being sassy?   I told him,  “I don’t message people for the LOLz.”   ..He never wrote back..

Meow.

Today’s will be a rant of online dating and real-life alike.

I can’t tell you how many messages I get online that only say “Hi.  How are you?”  And it drives me absolutely crazy.    Unless you are Ryan Reynolds, or I am outrageously bored – I won’t respond to this.

I think that caring is becoming a lost art.   If I ask someone in person how they are – I genuinely want to hear the answer.   So many times in day to day life, I am walking and I see someone who I know and care about.  I ask how they are, and they don’t respond, just walking past.    I also hate it when people in real life are walking by, and don’t stick around for my answer to “How are you?”

Perhaps this is why I despise it so much online.   If people who I believe in real life generally care about me don’t care about the answer –  I assure you that you, stranger on the internet, also don’t care about the answer.

Besides.. isn’t the most common response to this “Fine.”  or “Good.”?    That is not a good way to build a conversation.   I know I have probably skipped over people who are probably awesome because of this.

Please-  just don’t do it.

Online Dating Username:   AThickCumPump

Even though I could easily leave you with THAT and it would probably be sufficient enough – why leave out some of the awesome details?

Girls – get in line for this one!    This 29 year old bachelor needs “a girl to pound sperm into” on a regular basis.   His profile talks in length about his bedroom fantasies.

First of all – kudos for at least being honest.   Of course we already know that a strong handful of men attempting online dating are looking for the same thing- but they try to seem “normal” to charm you first.  I appreciate the honesty, because now I don’t have to waste my time.  (Not that I would have anyways– but more to come on that..)

This guy is (bless his heart) one who cannot grow facial hair.  Of course, his online dating profile does not state this,  but I can tell.   He looks like he is 16 years old.  A little facial hair would do him a few favors.   For some reason, he also selected to have 2 of his 3 pictures be photos of his torso, with a shirt on, that show off some man boobs – despite him being a thin guy.  I don’t really get it.

Remember how I have mentioned in the past that most guys write on their profile that they are “kind of a nerd”?    This guy does not –  but perhaps he should.   However, I suppose it is a moot point after reading his non-sexual interests of:  Anime, Manga, Video Games, Sci Fi/Fantasy Stuff and Conventions.       This guy who wants to “splatter your insides” with his “hot, thick, potent gunk” (ewwww!!)  is the Prince of the Nerds.

I think it’s safe to assume he clearly isn’t getting anywhere with the ladies in real life – so why not try the internet?   For some strange reason, I don’t think that’s going to work for him either.   ::shudders::

For the rest of my guy readers who have online dating profiles – go look at it, and if it says you are “kind of a nerd” please remove it immediately.   Once again, I can almost assure you that you are NOT even close to nerdy.

One of my Twitter BFFs sent me a link to a guy she found while surfing for men on the www.   I was quite appalled by her find of this 48 year old “nudist” who has a photo of himself fully clothed.  (Go figure.)  I give to you his Self Summary on his profile:

“My title is Emissary Master Steve and at my side is my devoted slave melani she is also my wife. I also have slave janet and sub megan who I am protecting here as well. The best way to explain me is to start with who I am.”

Before we go any further- I want to point out that he is automatically a tool because he capitalizes his name, and when referring to himself –  but his women don’t get that same respect.

“I am a warm, caring man with a heart that wants for many. I have built a lifestyle just for this purpose. I love bringing kinky people together to watch and participate in the wondrous adventure of their kinks. My personal biggest kink is to see all the people that open up their interests and want to show off. Open there sexuality and let it fly. This is such a wondrous life. I revel in the wonder of it all.  You will be safe and not judged here. Some rules do apply.”

Some rules?  Like what?

“I am also an Ordained Emissary. I can perform Marriage ceremonies, Rose ceremonies and more. If you want to be joined together in any way like nude, Adult, same sex. I can help with this for you. My grounds are very nice for such ceremonies. I believe that sexuality and life should not be separate but should be combined to make life full. We are born with the drive for sex. Why hide this? I am also available for counseling.”

Okay.. he’s on a dating website – and yet advertising his services.   What kind of counseling does he offer?   I don’t think anyone not open to his life style probably wouldn’t want counseling from such a person… Maybe I’m wrong.

Also –  when he talks about being joined together in any way- what does he mean by such as “Adult.”   ?

“I am looking to find another special woman or man to add to our lives. To build a polyamorous relationship with. This woman may be you. We have no kids at home. We will consider someone with children. If we can figure a way to fit them in without causing any harm to them and there way of life. You will need to be bisexual and have a desire to show off. Not be shy. There is nudity always present in our lives. We have our own lifestyle group that gathers regularly. Also party frequently with others. We would like to start out slow and see where it goes. We are hard working good people. If you are into BDSM that would be a plus. But not necessary. I am Dominant and my 3 girls are submissive. You are welcome if you are Dom, sub, switch or other. You will not be pushed into anything you do not want. You will let it be known when you are ready. You will find this home to be fun, safe, sexual, kinky and supportive in all your endeavors‘.”

I find it interesting that he is looking for another special woman or man – but then says “This woman may be you.”    The requirement for being bisexual also makes me think that Master Steve doesn’t want anymore dudes around.

“If you like a lot of sexual activity and a lot of attention this is the place for you. So don’t hesitate before it is to late. Come and join our life. You will find it to be unequal to all others.”

Before it’s too late?!    Oh boy.. Where do I sign up!?!?

Everyone has at least a little baggage, right?   Or something quirky about themselves that could potentially be a deal-breaker?

“Hey, would you like to go grab dinner with me sometime? I promise I’ll behave and won’t show my penis to anyone.”

Hahahaha!   Is this a common problem with this guy?   I don’t know if I would be able to handle that.

In all honesty,  this message is slightly out of context, but funny nonetheless.  He had sent me a message on my dating profile that I move my location around..  The one that said:  By the way, I don’t live here.   At this time,  my profile said I was in Nevada.   I, sadly, have to remember this conversation by memory, because POF caught wind of my ways, and deleted this profile for me.    Apparently they just don’t realize how funny I am.  😉

He had sent me a message, telling me to check out his profile, which included one of the infamous “dick pics.”     I don’t remember what exactly I had said, but he wrote back that he gets reported a lot, and he has it up there because he doesn’t take online dating seriously (who does?) and he enjoys when super conservative ladies freak out at him.    I had told him it’s not something I want to see, but it certainly doesn’t surprise me as he wasn’t original.

After this, I apparently seemed interesting, and where was I when he was taking this seriously?   “Where I have always been.”   I told him, and thought to myself “NOT IN YOUR STATE, LEARN TO READ!”      To which then he asked to dinner and promised to keep his penis to himself..

I asked him where he would like to meet for dinner..   He listed a place and I told him that would be too far to travel for me.  (You know, not living in Nevada after all..)     and, who knows what would have happened next, because POF deleted me.

It does amaze me what people put online though.   If you throw out a picture of your genitalia on the internet,  what is stopping me from thinking you would whip that out at a public restaurant?

One of OKCupid’s match questions is:   “If you started getting serious with someone you met on okcupid, would you feel comfortable telling your family and friends where you met?”

On my news feed there,  someone had answered that question with “No – we can say we met in the produce section at the grocery store…just tell your dad you were admiring my cucumber!”

It made me laugh and made me remember that this was something I have been meaning to address on the blog.   Please remember that opinions are expressed are only my opinions, and per the usual:  I would love your feedback and thoughts.

I, personally, am not a big fan of announcing to the world “WE MET ONLINE!”   Of course,  there will always be certain friends who will know..  but,  as a general rule – it’s a little awkward.   That being said, I am not totally against it.   I think eventually it would probably be “leaked”  and be okay.  The first few months…  not really something I want everyone to know.

The most important factor to me is that it’s talked about, and not decided exclusively by one side.    I have had this argument with people.   You will never know how the other person feels about it until you have a discussion about it.   I feel very respected when people I have met from online have either brought it up, or have said the first place we actually did meet (in person) when questioned.

Again – there will be some friends of both parties who just know – that’s a given.. and not a problem.   It’s moreso the family knowing right off the bat that gives me the heebie-jeebies.    Why, you may wonder?   I don’t want my family to think you are some “crazy” from the internet.. because I am hoping that’s not really the case..   and I certainly don’t want your family getting the impression that I am a “crazy” from the internet either.

I know it’s becoming more normal to meet people online..  but you never know how people are going to react.   Much better for that to come out after everyone has already established their opinions on you, instead of letting “the internet” do that for them.

At the very least, I don’t want it common knowledge until it’s an exclusive dating relationship.   Would you really want someone saying “Oh, you are one of her internet men”?

I don’t know – am I way off base?