Soon2BeCatLady

On the profile in which I have only written a mere “I will fill this out later.”   I have received my first marriage proposal.  Part of me is surprised this has not happened sooner – but I am mostly surprised this has happened on the page where Vague is my first name.

“I really liked your profile…  will you marry me?”

Apparently he likes that I appear to procrastinate?

I decided that checking this guy’s profile out was probably necessary, just in case he happens to be rich or something.  (That is a joke, really not a gold digger..)

About Mr. Moves Too Fast:

“LIFE HAS MADE ME A BETTER MAN FOR TOMORROW AND THE DAY AFTER . SINCERE FRIENDLY BIG HEART TRUTHFUL DON’T GIVE UP TRYING TO GET YOUR LOVE AND WORK HARD TO MAKE OUR LIFE INTERESTING TOGETHER . …………”

Mr. Moves Too Fast’s First Date:

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ….

I honestly don’t think this marriage is going to work out if he is asking other girls to ask him out for a first date.

Part of me wishes that after I blog about someone, that I had the guts to send them a link and say “Here… here’s some help.”    But, that could get awkward quick.

Sometimes people ruin it by just saying too much.  A friend sent me this and deemed it blogworthy.  I was quick to agree:

“HI there, I liked your profile…partly because I too have a dirty mind (although I’m not entirely sure I know when it’s appropriate to keep it in check…maybe I need someone to teach me, or perhaps not care).  The only thing I don’t know about is everything within 20 minutes of your city**. I live in neighboring city**, and the very near to downtown part, and even that’s a little far out for me.

As for me, it’s been a strange couple of years for me…I moved back here happy to have a great job with a new company…which promptly relocated (and then filed bankruptcy)…I was lucky to find a new job right away, and then that company went through 2 1/2 years of economic downturn and 3 rounds of layoffs, me being caught in the last one…and after about 2 1/2 months of finishing up my old job (they needed me for end of the year stuff) and worrying about the future and how far the money would go, I got a new job, better title, more money, more vacation that I’ve been at for six months…so wow, it’s been a stressful and change-filled few years. So now that I feel in a better/more stable place, I’m looking to get out, have fun and meet some interesting people.

Anyway, here I am dropping you a line. I guess the next step is for you to check out my profile, and if it interests you, drop me a line…I’d love to chat! ”

…I have no words…  Other than that all of that was way too much info.

**actual city removed to protect the contributor.

My friend J and I went out for drinks over the holiday weekend, and we each invited a stranger from the internet.   Being as spontaneous as it was, I was not surprised when my internet friend was unable to make it – but, J’s friend did come out.    (And right now he is saying to himself “Oh shit… I made the blog!”)

Much to his relief I am sure,  I found him to be an absolute delight.  (I don’t want to speak on behalf of J, but I believe I can say she was a fan as well.)   My faith is temporarily restored that there ARE normal people out there, and maybe  I don’t have to turn into a crazy cat lady after all.

While having drinks, we talked about online dating.   He said something that I just can’t stop referring back to.  He said that if a girl sends him a message on a dating website,  he will NOT respond back.   I immediately asked why.  I have sent out messages to people who I thought sounded interesting,  and I only receive messages back about 25-30% of the time.

His viewpoint on the matter was this:   When he used to respond back to messages, he found the girls to be desperate.

Interesting..  Now, I don’t know if all guys do this- or just seemingly normal ones?   I know I have said before, and will stick to, that all girls have a bit of the crazy in them..  but,  what about girls who aren’t desperate?   Maybe we’re few and far between..  but it makes me a little sad that perhaps that’s why I have missed becoming friends with some interesting people – because my reaching out first made me appear desperate.   Additionally – what if girls did that?

That’s just what’s going through my brain today-  perhaps from the impending cat dander.  =)

After the bar “situation” yesterday,  I have been doing a lot of contemplating.   I post and complain about people in the online dating world not reading what I have put out there quite a bit.   After thinking about it,  they are really no different than the idiots at the bar.

Those guys last night knew absolutely nothing about us, yet still wouldn’t go away.  Granted, I think if we had a blurb written about ourselves on our sleeve,  they still probably wouldn’t have read it..

Guys online have a luxury that guys out at the bar do not have.   They get a glance at the personality of the girl before deciding whether or not to chat with her.  Why do they not take this opportunity?   Element of surprise?  Waste time?   I just do not understand!

Please.. someone… anyone…  Enlighten me!

As if there were any doubts, it’s not so great meeting people outside of the internet either.    I went out for some fun music, drinks and dancing with two of my girlfriends tonight-  and quite honestly-  I know why Pink wrote “U and Ur Hand.”   Guys just can’t take a freaking hint!

While my two pals were up dancing,  a couple guys came by and put their drinks down on our table-   Okay..  I think they eventually realized I was SITTING there, and asked if it was okay. “Yeah, fine.”   One of them tried to get me to dance.   Sorry buddy,  I was on purse duty.   I actually WAS on purse duty, but it was also a good excuse, as I had NO interest in dancing with Mr. Gold Teeth.

So, Mr. Gold Teeth then decides to make himself comfortable and sit down.  Umm..  okaaaaaay….   My friends came back, and his buddy sat down with us to.   This guy stared at me for at LEAST 15 minutes.  I could see him in my peripherals. I was NOT turning my head.    Guys – this is a HINT.   We know if you are looking at us.

We, all in our secret girl way, decide we are going to go to the bathroom.   After our group field trip,  we headed outside for a while.   When we went back inside,  creepos were not at our table.   So we sat back down.

But… they came back.  WWHHAATT!!??!!??    The one asked my friend for her number.  She very politely told him that she doesn’t give her number out at the bar, and he turned into instant asshole and we left.

So – guys who frequent the bar/dancing scene..  To recap:

1) If you ask a girl to dance, and she says “No.”   She doesn’t want to dance with you.

2) If you stare at a girl, even on or off, for over a minute and she doesn’t so much as glance your way.. Not interested – move along.

3) If an ENTIRE table of girls gets up and leaves at the same time.  They are not interested.

4) In case you don’t believe bullet 3:  If those girls do not come back within 5 minutes..  for SURE not interested.

5)  Non-creepy guys who CAN take a hint..  if you see this happening, for heaven’s sakes, come to our rescue.

Almost everyone that I know has someone that they work with who is probably the sweetest person on the planet.   You know, the shy quiet type who is insanely polite.

When browsing the website the other day, I came across my office sweetheart.  I thank my lucky stars that I noticed who it was BEFORE clicking on the page.   Now, I am going to admit right now that every female on this planet has a little bit of the crazy.  Every last one of us.

I had to see my co-workers page.   HAD to.    So, like any other crazy female,  I created a 2nd profile page with fake pictures and a fake life.

Now, why is finding my co-worker really awkward?    This is REALLY AWKWARD because in my situation, my sweet shy co-worker is married.   His page goes on to announce that he is married (and links to his wife’s page..)   and they have the “open” relationship thing going on.     Okay, that’s weird.

Wait… what’s this?   Oh..  he also has a girlfriend.   That’s totally what I was expecting..   And he is looking for someone else to spoil.   Why oh why oh WHY do I know this?!  I have to see this person nearly EVERY DAY!   And.. I thought he was NORMAL, and not leading a double life..

It’s always the quiet ones…

As previously stated, I knew that Hari would definitely at least get a part 2 on the blog.  Much as he said he would,  he did send me a message to “bug me.”

“Hi Annie,

Good Afternoon!

It’s been a pleasure to know you yesterday. Thanks for letting me be your kinda wannabe friend 🙂

I see that you are not just an independent person but an active one too. In the sense, I wish to get some pep from you 🙂 – be it your sarcasm, your outgoing nature or even photography.

I wish I could get buddied up with you to get to know more about you and explore more(not just hang out like that). More importantly, I can learn lot about the culture in general and any such others 🙂 Not just from being alone, I would like to see you as someone I can talk to when I’d like to, share my thoughts and just spend good time.

Well, photography is one other thing that I may want to bug you about.

I don’t know what to convey anything else right now, but, I think I’d be glad to know more about you.

Thanks.

H.”

A very small part of me wants to help this guy out..  There is obviously a little language barrier.  The other part of me thinks that by getting “buddied-up” he means something not anywhere near as innocent as it sounds, and that is where I would be uncomfortable meeting him in real life.  Common sense steps in… not to mention I don’t know if I could handle the “British English”.  😉

Self –

If you are going to make a rule that says you don’t respond to people unless they have made it clear that they have read your profile – DON’T respond unless they make that clear!

Actually, truth be told, I responded to this doofus because I just had a strong suspicion that it would give me something to blog about.

Mr. Hot-Shot 21 year old (p.s.  no thanks, I’m not a cougar.) sent me a message that said:  “Hey you know what I was just thinking?!?!?!?”

“No.. sadly mind-reading is not one of my many talents.”    (Now, I know what some people would say-  responding anything would indicate that I am interested.. but, come on – I did NOT say “No, what were you thinking.”  I answered his question that I did not KNOW what he was thinking..)

The next day:  “That we should fool around.”

Suave, Mr. 21.  Classy.   You certainly know a way to a girls’ heart.. or.. other organs?

Chivalry is dead, folks.   Our poor children.

I will often times browse profiles when I have nothing better to do.  I came across a guy who had a pretty high “match percentage” for me, although in theory that doesn’t mean anything to me.    So, I clicked his page,  read about him, and then checked out his photos.

His name is Tony.

I know this because in real life I know Tony.   I worked with him a few years ago for a short while.  His main picture somewhat disguised his face, which is why I didn’t realize it sooner.   As soon as I realized this, I practically jumped and immediately moved away from his page-  nothing against him-  It’s just… awkward.

I hadn’t talked with Tony in at least a year, so when out to a movie with a friend, I got a text from an unknown number that said “You scopin’ me out?”   I assumed it had to be him.  When I got home,  I logged onto the website and sure enough had a message from him that said “Hey baby, wanna make out?”   Oh geez.  He immediately starts talking to me on the website via IM, and I apologized-  I didn’t mean to creep his page, I hadn’t realized it was him.   We chatted for awhile and caught up..  old friends, whatever… very normal.

I didn’t expect what happened next.   I get a text the next day, “Wow, I just didn’t ever realize how sexy you are!”   Oh no..   “Okay.”   “Seriously, you are hot!  Your boobs are huge!”   Ugh… SO not what I want to hear from this guy.   I told him that while I am flattered at his sudden interest,  I was not willing to go there.  “Why not?”  I told him that since I knew a few people that he had previously slept with,  I just wasn’t interested.   Were there other reasons?  Of course… but this seemed to be the easiest way to stop the madness.

A few days go by, and I get another text message, once again about my boobs.  I told him he needs to back off and he’s not going to see them.  “Even if it was my birthday?”   “Even if it was your birthday.”    Apparently I am mean.

I wish I could say this is the only experience where I ran into someone from real life.. but alas,  there is more..  Stay tuned.

Instant Messaging on these websites gives people just more reason to highly entertain me.    Like the instant messages from a 29 year old man I received tonight (my responses are in bold):

Hi, This is Harry. Good Evening!

Sorry to bother you..

What would you want to know about me?

Per your profile, you seem to have questions in particular…Please feel free to ask them

I do?

🙂

I guessed that

oh.. that is not accurate

D’oh!

May be in a hurry…

Can you give me a few more minutes…to help me understand your profile better

ok

Thanks 🙂

ok…

correct me if I am wrong

You are an independent person….

yes

in short

And I am surprised and glad to hear that you are very responsible

by saying that you own a house

at this age

Keep it up!

You are a good thinker

if not very critical 🙂

right?

I don’t know exactly what you mean by that

Well, I meant to say that you have got good brains 🙂

Please don’t get me wrong if I am being rather direct…

Can I ask you a question

that’s slightly intriguing me

So, I am new to photography

and have got very good SLR lenses

cool

How’d you suggest me to learn in low-lighting environments like in winter over here

will let you know the lense…hold on

just practice

It’s a 28-135mm canon

lens

I have to get more intuition about focal lengths and apertures

When I try to concentrate on shutter speeds, these other factors vary

Anyway, I don’t want to bore you down with them now

I’m sorry that I didn’t know your name yet…May I know it?

I am Hari/Harry…..dots, not feathers 🙂

Annie   (I have several alibi’s.. this is one of them)

Nice name, Annie 🙂

Firstly and briefly about me

I am slighlty shy but could get along quite well as I am comfortable.

As I said, I am not from here, but have travelled to different places, some of your ancestors’ palces too…:)

Northern and Western Europe

I am looking for a good company to spend time with.

I am kind of new to this online dating thing….but am looking for a good friend first and fore most.

So, if I am not mistaken, I may ask you to get to know more about me just as I do like to as I wish to get befriended to you if you think is possible 🙂

Too many I’s…..:)

huh?

Am a software Engineer

by profession

and wish to explore more in general and be creative

And so is my entry into photography too

Am I descriptive atleast by some means or just garrulous 🙂 ??

Am I bugging you , Miss Annie?

i think i am just a little surprised is all.

How come?

Yes, you can be apprehensive about me as we are not yet friends

but wannabe ones

if we wish to

Please feel free to ask me what you want to know

The very fact that I see you being online 🙂 made me go to this extent….sorry to bug you this way :))

So, what are you gifting your parents for thanksgiving 🙂

I don’t generally gift them anything for Thanksgiving.

ok

Maybe an old photograph of theirs could surprise them 🙂

with some creative work to it

maybe

Have a question, a bit serious one

ok

What does it take to get to know more about Annie inorder to get befriended to her?

what do you mean by befriended?

By being a pen friend as a good start :))

Is that a wrong word???

befriended = to make me your friend

No Adjectives, please :)))

May be a good friend…..well, that depends on how close we are 🙂

A friend as a good start for sure 😉

Let me rephrase some questions

What do you think about me in general– willing to know more about me or not?

I dont really know you.

That’s the very same reason I asked if I can get to be known more about by you.

Are you interested to make your friend or pal

Pal is way deeper….let’s start with little friendship

Where are you from?

Certainly not from here and so are these odd ball questions 🙂

Am from India

Are you using a translating program? Or do you know English?

Frankly, Annie, do I seem to be waaaay Odd???

How come you have that doubt?

Is my English that bad???? :))))

“translating program”

that’s very funny, indeed

Some of the words you use are a little strange.

yep….I’m not from here

and so you will have to bear with my British lang

:))))

your British lang?

British English, I meant

British language

ok…

So, may I know if we became sort-of-friends 🙂

or not yet

;)))

I am just looking for a good company

sure.. we are sort of friends

as I am not from here….I think a good friend to guide me through will be very beneficial to me

Thanks for accepting me, Annie :)))

I am delighted :))

So, please feel free to bug me as you wish and I wish to be in touch with you

Are you good at baseball games???

I wish to learn more about them too

yes

Cool

As you said that you are making me your friend, I wish to express more on how I can be helped…

I will write you more, Annie

—–

So many thoughts right now..

1)   I have to gift my parents something for Thanksgiving?   Shit..

2)  I am fairly certain that there will be at minimum a part 2 to this post.

3)  Please go back and re-read Hari’s messages with a British accent. haha!