It’s funny – when I was 22, I thought 28 was ridiculously old. Now that I am 28, I realize it’s not as old as I thought – but I do now view 22 year olds as cute little puppies. That being said, a cute little puppy sent me an IM on good ol’ OKCupid the other day.
“may I say, you are gorgeous”
“Thank you, I appreciate that.”
“Just realized…I seem to be quite a bit young for you”
“Yeah, little bit.”
“you seem pretty open minded though”
“am I correct?”
“About some things, sure.” (About considering dating a 22 year old, not really.)
“can i ask 2 things without explaination?”
“Sure.”
“1. do you need to pee? even just a little urge? be hinest”
“No.”
“grr…” (Aww… aren’t puppies cute when they growl?)
“2. when did you go last?”
“An hour and a half ago.”
“how open minded do you feel tonight? and do you find me attractive?”
“I find you to look 14 years old.” (In other words, cute in a little puppy sort of way.)
“i want to ask”
“but im afraid youll judge and run away”
“Whatever.”
“would you be willing to fill your bladder to its max and hold it while we talk?”
“No.”
“see? sorry i’ll go now”
“That’s not judging or running away.. that’s me saying no.”
“i knoe but its kind of judging”
“because its not that you CANT”
“you think its weird and dont want to”
“It’s because I don’t want to. Here’s the nice thing about life- you get to choose what you want to do.” (He must have been one of those spoiled rotten children who got everything he ever asked for..)
“look”
“we are two strangers”
“this is a one time deal that no one needs to know about”
“LOL. I am not worried about people knowing.” (Am I EVER not worried about people knowing!) “I don’t believe there is anything in it for me to fill and hold my bladder. That doesn’t sound fun to me.”
“then what is YOUR kink?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“fine i concede. i need to… ‘go’.”
“and i cant wait oo much longer”
“sorry for suggesting” (Perhaps he was more sorry for wasting his own time.)
“I don’t believe the intent of OKCupid is so you can message girls odd requests so you can take care of special time.”
“says the girl with the s,all bladder and the closed mind”
“I only have a small bladder at work.” (True story..)
“actually, lets not say the b word right now”
“Oh for fucks sake.. Are we done now?”
“apparently”
See.. just like a little puppy… cute until he starts humping your leg.
Soon2BeCatLady 