Yes.. Another brilliant first online dating message:
“What do you look for in a lover?”
“I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy.. (Repeat.)”
“Sound almost like a song.”
Ya know.. Almost.
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Groupons and Dating
20 JanHonestly, I hope a heated debate occurs in the comments on this question that I have. (I have a feeling that at least some girls will have an issue with my stance on this..)
I have been asked over and over – “Is it okay to use a Groupon on a first date?” The topic has been brought up on my podcast a few times, and we can never come up with an answer that satisfies both @A_Dude79 and myself. So – I bring this question to you, loyal fans. — And let’s make it “When is it okay to use a Groupon when you’re dating?”
As previously mentioned, @A_Dude79 and I are split on the matter. He says absolutely no way on a Groupon until a couple has slept together. I’m a bit more lenient on the matter.
@A_Dude79 thinks that the first date is about making an impression, and paying for the date in full, without a coupon/groupon, shows that he is able to provide for the woman. He argues that most Groupons you need to have printed out, or pull up on your phone – and that’s tacky. (However, he thinks if you can use a Groupon without having to present it, it’s fair game.. *Eyeroll.* ..Men..)
I think a Groupon is just fine. I would much rather be offered a fun activity that was purchased through Groupon than a boring coffee or dinner date any day of the week. They often have really fun activities to try out at a discount. We are also in a time of economic hardship – I feel there is nothing wrong with saving some money. And – if a girl is not okay with you saving a few dollars – do you want to be dating her anyway? (I’ll throw in there that in a Soon2BeCatLady perfect world, I would know about the Groupon before the date.)
So, interwebs – Let’s vote, and (respectfully) duke it out in the comments. I’m closing the poll after one week, so make sure to voice your opinion!
Be Aggressive in Dating!!
13 JanIf you aren’t tuning into my weekly podcast, you are missing out. Last week we discussed being aggressive in dating, and I wanted to re-cap as well as add a thought or two.
My sexy beast of a co-host, @A_Dude79, brought up that he read an article that suggests to males that instead of beating around the bush and asking a girl if she’d like to get coffee, BE AGGRESSIVE and tell the girl you’d like to take her out on a date. If she says yes, then there is no question whatsoever that it’s a date. If she says no, then you’ve saved yourself some money. At the very least everyone is on the same page.
I agree with this entirely. Being aggressive shows that you know what you want, and you aren’t afraid to take a risk to get it. It’s just manly to tell a girl you’d like to take her out on a date. And – most girls want to date a man. — I know I do.
We discussed on the podcast that “Let’s get coffee sometime” can be taken a number of different ways. Now – let me tell you this: Most girls know that this means a date. We just play stupid. If we’re not interested in dating you, we’re likely to go to coffee anyway and make it a friend-date. (And I know how much you guys hate the friend-zone..) You are more likely to get a straight answer on if a girl is interested in you if you are aggressive.
I digitally bumped into an old acquaintance of mine, and sent a “hello” message over because I had already clicked his page. (Because I remember everything and everyone, I assume everyone else does as well.) We’ve chatted back and forth, but I have absolutely no interest in dating him. He thinks it’d be fun to get coffee and catch up.
Will I go? Sure.
Do I think it’s a date? No.
Does he think it’s a date? Probably.
Would I have said yes had he asked me out on a date? No. (Fun fact: I am 99% sure that he doesn’t even remember my first name.)
So why would I go to coffee then? Because coffee is casual and I like people. Also, because I can’t guarantee he thinks it’s a date, maybe he does just want to catch up. And, who knows – even though I doubt it, there could be chemistry?
Guys- just be more forward with your intentions, and consider rejection as money and time saved. Try it out and comment or tweet to me with how it went. I have a feeling we will all be pleasantly surprised.
Ex-Boyfriend Pain
16 DecI thought I was over him. I seriously, truly, thought I was. After all, it’s been nearly 3 years.
I should explain first that I picked up a seasonal job in a shopping mall, at a niche store. Why? For something to do, for a nice discount on a product that I spend way too much money on to begin with, and because they needed some help.
So, I was behind the counter, putting a few things away, and I saw him approach the store.. with a girl. In a split second flat, I felt like I had been kicked in the gut, and I was practically underneath the counter. In reality, I probably wasn’t under there for more than 3 seconds, but it was the longest 3 seconds ever, and a LOT went through my mind at that time.
The first thought I had was “Why are you upset about this? You don’t know that this is a girlfriend.” Followed by “Why is he here? This mall is not even close to his house or work!” “What am I going to say?” “How am I going to hold myself together?” “He is going to think I am a total loser since I am working here.. How am I going to explain this?” (This one puzzles me, because I am not struggling financially, and am not ashamed of this job… but – maybe I am?) And, of course, lastly, “I can’t stay under here forever, or I will look like a huge moron.”
I took a deep breath, and rose from my hiding place. I slapped on a big smile, and looked forward at the man who was now a foot inside my store.. who actually wasn’t my ex-boyfriend at all. Just a similar built guy, with a similar winter coat and stupid hat as the ex-boyfriend.
I learned quite a lot in that 3 seconds.. the biggest lesson being that I don’t believe I’m quite over the ex yet.
Damn it.
Soon2BeCatLady 