Tag Archives: dating advice

Corny Dad Jokes

17 Jun

“Hey.  Our profiles don’t match up that well but… Hi my names **** I think they match up enough to kinda see what’s up.”

Continue reading

A Very Intimate Question

7 Jun

I understand that the protection of the computer screen makes it easier to say terrible things to people, as you don’t get to see their reaction.  But, these guys have their faces, and names attached to this!  No shame, whatsoever.  5 years later and it still floors me.

“Can I ask you a very intimate question?”

“I don’t know.  Can you?”

I believe he meant “May I..”

Continue reading

I Have An Answer For Everything!

23 May

I don’t really have much commentary for this one.

“Sex?”

“Female.”

“Cum”

“Can not compute.”

(Hehehe!! Beep beep boop,  I am a robot!)

“I want you”

“I am not for sale.”

“Grr”

“Ribbit!”

He gave up after that one.

#DateMe: An OKCupid Experiment

14 May
IMG_2940

Yes, that’s me. I just don’t see where I’m going wrong in my quest for a man. 😉

 

What happens when a woman creates an obviously fake OKCupid profile, declaring her love for cats and only cats?

Continue reading

ALWAYS Use Protection!

7 Apr

Today I present to you, my dear reader, a fun CatLady fact. On a random whim six months ago, I went to the optometrist. I hadn’t had my “Disney Eyes” checked since grade school, and was about to sign up for insurance and wondered if I should purchase vision coverage. (Oh Adulthood, you’re so fun!) I assumed I still had perfect vision, but when I was asked to read the letters on the wall with my left eye – my soul was crushed. I am now the proud owner of way more pairs of nerdy glasses than I’d ever be willing to admit. (Most women like shoes. I hate shoes. But give me ALL OF THE NERDY GLASSES!) This is necessary information for today’s online dating horror story. By the way, this post is NC-17.

As much as I would like to, I just can’t take Tinder seriously.

Continue reading

Rejection Letter

31 Mar

If you listen to any of my podcasts, you would be aware that I’ve been on a number of dates recently, and all but one was pretty terrible.  (And the good one ghosted me, for the record.)  However, one date in particular was worse than the rest in ways you could only listen about to understand, as I’m not going to re-live it again.  Check out the podcast(s).

This terrible date, after said date, texted me to ask how I thought the date went, because at very least he could use advice.  I was told that I needed to give an honest evaluation since it was asked for, so I typed up one of the most difficult things for me to write.   A friend read it and suggested I post it, as it really holds some good advice that many could use a refresher on.  So, here it is:

Continue reading

Psychics

22 Mar

Probably due to the fact that I will one day turn into a crazy cat lady, if I haven’t already done so (minus the cat part), I have always been intrigued by psychics, palm readers, tarot cards, and the paranormal in general.  I don’t want to say I am necessarily a believer,  but intrigued and I haven’t ruled out the possibility of it all.  That being said, I have always been terrified of actually going to talk to one.

I think I’ve mentioned once or twice on here that I often make money with my camera (taking pictures of other people..)  Last summer I photographed a wedding and the grandmother of the groom was a palm reader.  She grabbed my hand and started telling me things I already knew about myself.  (She was especially impressed with the closeness of my family.)  It was fascinating.

So, when I got an email from the Psychic Source, asking if I’d get a love reading done, I couldn’t turn the offer down.   I was excited and terrified at the same time.   I almost had the call recorded for Nothing In Common, but decided against it in case it turned out that I do die alone with cats.

Continue reading