I’ve been contemplating this for a few days, and that spurred because of this blog entry that Belle Vierge of Finding My Virginity blog pointed out to me. If you don’t have time to check out the blog – basically, the blogger condones form letters. (There was a lot more to it than this..) Belle posted a comment referring readers here, and I had a back and forth with a gentleman regarding form letters.
Guys – I will stick to this.. you will have better luck (at least quality-wise) if you reference something in the girl’s profile. I get that not all girls give you stuff to work with, but there’s that quality thing again.
This is known – girls get a lot more messages than you guys do. If she gets 20 messages daily that all say “Hey, how are you?” she has to do a lot of work to determine if she wants to respond or not. But I GUARANTEE you, if you send a message that says “Hey [username]! I read that you are actively involved in community theatre. What was your favorite part to play?” and she doesn’t respond… it’s not because of your message.
So – why don’t girls respond to your personalized messages, then? There could be several reasons, including but not limited to:
– She doesn’t think you are attractive. (Or your online dating photos are horrible. Seriously guys.. a lot of you post photos that make you look like pedophiles.)
– She only dates six foot two inch blonde guys with a six pack.
– Something in your profile is a deal-breaker for her.
-Maybe you don’t have much info on your profile.
– She’s in the beginning stages of dating someone else.. (or maybe not the beginning stages.)
– She online dates for an ego boost and nothing more.
– She’s not a real person.
– She meant to, but forgot.
– You have a dog and she’s allergic to dogs.
– You’re a democrat and she’s a republican. (Or vice versa.)
– You wrote her a message at 3am, and normal people aren’t online sending messages at that time of night, so you are clearly weird.
– Something in your profile made you sound like a tool.
– Something that you couldn’t possibly know about is going on in her life and she just can’t be bothered with meeting new people, dating, or responding to anyone on the internet. (Like what? Family emergencies, work drama, her cat died..)
I could go on and on forever. But it’s NOT because you asked her a basic question about one of her interests.
I know it’s frustrating.. I send out messages to guys I find attractive and don’t get responses, probably because I’m not a size 0. But wouldn’t you rather be someone who stands out than the “norm”?