When it comes to your first in-person meet-up, learn from my mistakes and DO NOT GO TO LUNCH. (Or dinner.) You really don’t know if you will have good chemistry with someone, and eating a meal is a big awkward event if you don’t click, or they’re weird. I don’t know why I continue to make this same mistake over and over, but – I’m a sucker for sushi. So, when Charming Tinder Fellow suggested we meet for a sushi lunch date, I broke my rule.
I feel bad for any future sons that I may have. I’m pretty sure “Mama CatLady” is going to sit down with them after high school graduation and discuss what is appropriate and not appropriate to discuss with complete strangers. I think it’s safe to assume that this 27 year old’s mother (and many other mothers out there..) never did that:
“I bet you have a tasty pussy.”
There were oh-so many places I could go with this..
Apparently there are Tinder rules that I have not been following..
“Hey CatLady, we matched. What do we do now? I think we are supposed to hook up?”
“I thought we were supposed to get married.”
“Let’s fuck first.”
Classy..
“Nah.”
“This is a hookup site you know??”
“Actually, it’s a dating app. And – even if you were accurate, that doesn’t mean I’m required to hook up with you.”
“It actually is a requirement that you hookup.”
Damn.. Makes me regret swiping right for EVERYONE. — I did contemplate telling him that I am one of the founders of Tinder, and that he is incorrect.. but decided against it.
“Oh.. Well, you’ll have to wait in line then. You’re number 2549.”
“You are not following the rules, please hookup with me?”
“If you’re still semi-attractive in 7 years after I’ve hooked up with those ahead of you, I’ll let you know.”
“I’m reporting you”
“Okay.”
So, sounds like I’m gonna be busy for the next 7 years.. Or be a rebellious rule-breaker.
It’s safe to presume that I find this opening online dating message I received to be a bit graphic. I’ve been online dating for almost 4 years now, and I am still floored by what people think is okay to send to a complete stranger.
“Hi I just signed up today (well resigned up) I’ll be honest It has been a few months since my last encounter. I do like to start out giving oral if you are in to that and fingering. I like to try getting my partner an orgasm be for the real deal. (How considerate..) this can take about 10-20min depending on were your “G” spot s and how sensitive you are. (Apparently I got a message from God’s gift to women.) Let me know if you are interested or not. I wold like some common curtsy (…) as a message back even if you are not interested. I f you do reply back with a no, I will not push the subject. :D”
Who wrote this for you? A seven year old? Good Lord.
I certainly don’t believe people who send this sort of message deserve any “common curtsy”, I really wanted to indicate that his message was not appreciated.
“And now my eyes are bleeding.. Thank you for the sexual assault. Have a nice life.”
He must have sent his form letter to a bunch of ladies, as it appears as though he was reported and removed from the website. I would bet the majority of females out there don’t appreciate being treated like a piece of meat. Keep that in mind, fellas.
Soon2BeCatLady 